I know IATA

[Anonymous]

You're an adult.
You spent your day how you wanted to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are so many of you so worked up over Mother's Day? Who gives a shit?[/quote

Hey You!
Others care about Mother’s Day

Relax

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Yes, I know this intellectually. But this has been the story of my life. It’s been a challenge to reframe. I’m working on it.

Also there is a chance that she’ll go no contact with me because of this. She’s threatened it in the past. She’s not the easiest parent.

OK? Don’t threaten me with a good time. No contact from a miserable old bat? Sounds good.

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Yes, I know this intellectually. But this has been the story of my life. It’s been a challenge to reframe. I’m working on it.

Also there is a chance that she’ll go no contact with me because of this. She’s threatened it in the past. She’s not the easiest parent.

And that would be... a good development. Right?

I'm not quite sure what you're complaining about here. Your day or hers? I don't get it. From my perspective, you did all the right things. Low-key is best.

You are a really messed up human being, exactly the kind of person who should not be giving anyone advice.

DP but I'm with this PP. Sometimes a family member who consistently uses silent treatment to control the relationship goes fully no contact, and it is a relief (even though it is also painful and upsetting) because it can help release you from the cat and mouse game of silent period episodes. OP's mom appears to set her up for failure (not articulating expectations, not accepting the genuine efforts OP offers, punishing OP when this trap results in disappointment on her mom's side) and that is a really horrible dynamic. At least if her mom cut off contact all together, OP could stop engaging in that back and forth that is leading her to believe she is not just a bad daughter but a bad person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Yes, I know this intellectually. But this has been the story of my life. It’s been a challenge to reframe. I’m working on it.

Also there is a chance that she’ll go no contact with me because of this. She’s threatened it in the past. She’s not the easiest parent.

And that would be... a good development. Right?

I'm not quite sure what you're complaining about here. Your day or hers? I don't get it. From my perspective, you did all the right things. Low-key is best.

You are a really messed up human being, exactly the kind of person who should not be giving anyone advice.

DP but I'm with this PP. Sometimes a family member who consistently uses silent treatment to control the relationship goes fully no contact, and it is a relief (even though it is also painful and upsetting) because it can help release you from the cat and mouse game of silent period episodes. OP's mom appears to set her up for failure (not articulating expectations, not accepting the genuine efforts OP offers, punishing OP when this trap results in disappointment on her mom's side) and that is a really horrible dynamic. At least if her mom cut off contact all together, OP could stop engaging in that back and forth that is leading her to believe she is not just a bad daughter but a bad person.

PP, all this is eerily accurate. While it would be truly awful and painful to be cut off, at least the cycle would be over.

-OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Yes, I know this intellectually. But this has been the story of my life. It’s been a challenge to reframe. I’m working on it.

Also there is a chance that she’ll go no contact with me because of this. She’s threatened it in the past. She’s not the easiest parent.

You have the right to set boundaries and preserve your mental health. If she goes no contact over that, it’s on her. It would make her the a-hole, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hm? You like flagellating yourself for nothing?

OK then.

Why did the OP post?

Yes, OP. You are the pits.