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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Yes, I know this intellectually. But this has been the story of my life. It’s been a challenge to reframe. I’m working on it.

Also there is a chance that she’ll go no contact with me because of this. She’s threatened it in the past. She’s not the easiest parent. [/quote]

[b]And that would be... a good development. Right?[/b]

I'm not quite sure what you're complaining about here. Your day or hers? I don't get it. From my perspective, you did all the right things. Low-key is best.

[/quote]

You are a really messed up human being, exactly the kind of person who should not be giving anyone advice.[/quote]

DP but I'm with this PP. Sometimes a family member who consistently uses silent treatment to control the relationship goes fully no contact, and it is a relief (even though it is also painful and upsetting) because it can help release you from the cat and mouse game of silent period episodes. OP's mom appears to set her up for failure (not articulating expectations, not accepting the genuine efforts OP offers, punishing OP when this trap results in disappointment on her mom's side) and that is a really horrible dynamic. At least if her mom cut off contact all together, OP could stop engaging in that back and forth that is leading her to believe she is not just a bad daughter but a bad person.[/quote]

PP, all this is eerily accurate. While it would be truly awful and painful to be cut off, at least the cycle would be over.

-OP[/quote]

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