6th grade parent drama

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like they value their community more than winning. That sounds refreshing. It’s soccer. There are a gazillion teams out there find a new one.

Sure, but then don't have tryouts.

We all know these things are rigged. Move on.

[Anonymous]

The only thing I see wrong with this is holding tryouts. The other families can join to form another team and run it the way they want but I agree holding tryouts when they have no intention of admitting a new player is wrong. Also, I disagree with the premise that a team should be made up of “the best players.” They’re in 6th grade, this isn’t the MLS. Let the kids enjoy each other’s company and focus on having fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our town has a travel soccer team that's coached by volunteer dads. The problem is, each year, there is no movement on the team because the moms of the players have formed a clique, and have said openly that they don't want to change up the team (like, ever) since they all enjoy hanging out together so much. This year, the kids are 6th graders and some of them have started growth spurts and some have not. I went to the tryouts, and a few kids who are new to the town were phenomenal players- they looked older (they weren't), and they were stronger and just better. The "evaluators" (aka the dads) didn't even bother to watch them much, and lo and behold, the team was announced and there were no changes to the roster. For the 4th year in a row.

FWIW this doesn't happen with any other grade's travel team- there is always at least some movement from year to year, based on kids working hard in the off season to earn a spot and other kids focusing on other interests. This is unique to this grade of boys.

What if anything can the other parents do about this? And I guess since I know the answer is "nothing" since it's volunteer run (and no, the coaches are fully against other parents coming to help volunteer beyond their clique of volunteer dads- I know this because my husband, a former college soccer player, volunteered to help and they refused), I'm mostly curious how common this is in other areas? Like, can't these moms and dads have their social lives even if their kids aren't on the same soccer team?? Like I don't care if I'm not friends with these moms, they can hang out without me all they want. But why does that mean they'd exclude my kid from the team, if my kid is objectively better than theirs? (This isn't even sour grapes about my own kid, at least not much- he accepted an offer on a team across town that's actually a much better team, it's just less convenient than the team down the street that his friends are on!)

Does this town really have only one travel team or one youth soccer org running leagues? Who do the volunteers answer to? How easy or difficult is it to start up a new team under the same umbrella org? What are the rec options like? I think you need to take deep breath. There must be another way for athletic kids to play competitive soccer with other athletic kids. Let these people have their crappy social league that will fall apart in two years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This sounds really obnoxious.

I think the only thing you could really do is start another travel team. How big is the town? If this team really makes it impossible for anyone new to join, and there's enough interest outside that clique, it wouldn't even be that hard.

Where I live there are lots of travel teams and other problems (people being hyper competitive between teams, an ever spiraling competition to spend more and more money, a weird fixation on having travel teams go to games well outside the area even though there are tons of competitive teams locally, etc.) but this particular issue doesn't arise because you can try out for multiple teams.

Also a lot of teams here have hired coaches, not parent volunteers, which changes the dynamics somewhat. But not that much, as there is still often a core group of parents who are close to the coach and still control the team for the most part. But good coaches will not turn down excellent players just to appease that group, there's usually some churn on teams as kids quite or move and others come in.

True, we could- this year about 30 boys tried out for a 15 (I think?) player roster. So if they'd taken all of the kids, they could have had 2 teams. But to be honest, the second team would include some boys who really shouldn't be on a travel team, or who wouldn't even be interested in the commitment once the season started. I think if a second team had been formed way earlier, it would have worked, but a lot of boys gave up trying to try out after the first 2 years. Also, when my husband offered his coaching services he said he floated the idea of two teams and the other dads shot it down (two of them run the whole league both rec and travel, and they;re good at running the league if I'm being honest so that's fine, but they said the town only has resources for one team per grade- I think in the past they'd tried to have 2 teams in some grades where there was a ton of interest, but it became a lot to manage).

What you describe also sounds pretty miserable so maybe I should be happy that the drama involves this one town team, and not myriad expensive teams.

This is yet another reason kids quit teams. There isn’t enough room for them.

Why did your husband need their approval ? They are volunteers. You should go to the very top and tell them how many children this is effecting and give them a proposal showing how to solve it. Your husband can start his own travel team if he wants. There are start up costs and a lot of work but parents do it. The proposal can list the expenses, you can start with a local club and see how it goes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like they value their community more than winning. That sounds refreshing. It’s soccer. There are a gazillion teams out there find a new one.

Sure, but then don't have tryouts.

We all know these things are rigged. Move on.

This will prepare them for life in Corporate America.

[Anonymous]

If it's this annoying from the outside, imagine how much worse it is on the team. Glad the moms are having fun, lord knows they need a win somewhere in life, but there's probably a lot of big feelings by these little boys getting their sports lives and friend group so managed.