Not returning to work after maternity leave

[Anonymous]

Couldn't agree more with 9:29 and 12:57. I told my employer very early on that I was going to be a SAHM b/c I had no intention to return. I felt like doing anything else would have been unethical and a slap in the face to someone who has been very good to me. (The benefits were not much of an issue, as a fed worker, there aren't many!)

However, if you are undecided, I think that's okay. Personally I couldn't function lying like that to my boss and coworkers. I'm just not that kind of person.

[Anonymous]

Couldn't agree more with 9:29 and 12:57. I told my employer very early on that I was going to be a SAHM b/c I had no intention to return. I felt like doing anything else would have been unethical and a slap in the face to someone who has been very good to me. (The benefits were not much of an issue, as a fed worker, there aren't many!)

However, if you are undecided, I think that's okay. Personally I couldn't function lying like that to my boss and coworkers. I'm just not that kind of person.

[Anonymous]

Couldn't agree more with 9:29 and 12:57. I told my employer very early on that I was going to be a SAHM b/c I had no intention to return. I felt like doing anything else would have been unethical and a slap in the face to someone who has been very good to me. (The benefits were not much of an issue, as a fed worker, there aren't many!)

However, if you are undecided, I think that's okay. Personally I couldn't function lying like that to my boss and coworkers. I'm just not that kind of person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm assuming that you're getting PAID maternity leave?

There are a number of issues here:

1) The LAW (the FMLA, assuming it applies to your company), does not require any paid leave. If you're getting paid, it may be under your company's STD policy, or it may be out of their own pocket. The FMLA does require that an employer keep paying for the employees benefits during the leave... but this is only assuming the employee intends to return to work. So yes, your company can rightfully terminate your leave benefits if/when you tell them you're not coming back. If they suspect you never had any intent to come back, they might legally ask for you to repay the health care benefits they paid for you.

2) Ethically, I think what you're doing is flat wrong. You're stringing along your employer, (and your former co-workers), to get "free money" (ie. money/benefits that you are not working for). Doing shit like this hurts ALL women who will come after you, and the company (if its supplying paid leave voluntarily) may decide to STOP providing this benefit to future pregnant employees because you've abused it and taken them for a ride. Not to mention, you may need to return to the workforce someday, and not only will you be burning your bridges with THIS company, but you may want to think about how you're going to explain not providing your next company with a reference from them.

Trying to tell yourself that its still up in the air (or telling them that) is just a lie. Once you KNOW you are not returning, I think you have an obligation to tell them. If you can afford to stay home, you can affort to forego the extra weeks of paid leave.

Umm, typically Maternity Leave/Short Term Disability is accrued - based on work already done.

[Anonymous]

I don't agree with the PPs who are telling you what you're doing is unethical.
A. You have no idea how you'll feel after the baby comes. You may decide you want to work part-time, or come back full-time because being a SAHM isn't what it's cracked up to be. You say you "know," but truly, wait and see, because the baby is a totally new experience and you don't actually "know."
B. The leave you are taking was earned by your previous work--not as "reward" for coming back to work as many have implied. I worked at my company for 7 years before taking maternity leave, and yeah, I earned it. I did choose to go back to work full-time (now cutting back), but many people before me did not. Every employer knows it's a possibility that you'll decide not to come back.

[Anonymous]

This is the PP. I didn't mean to imply that SAHM-hood isn't great for some people; just meant that you may decide as I did, that it isn't the right thing for you.

[Anonymous]

This is the OP. Thank you for all the responses. While I don't agree with several of the posts (9:29 stands out), I do appreciate the different perspectives. Like some of the PP's, I feel I have earned this time off. My company isn't rewarding me for returning to work, but rather I have already accrued this time off. I have worked like a dog over the last several years, including many overtime hours without additional pay and have done so with the understanding that I take care of the company, the company will take care of me. It balances out. And many people are right, I won't know how I'll feel after the baby is born. Right now I've made the decision to stay home but that may change once I see what it's like to be a mom. I may very well decide to go back or see what the options of working from home are. Thanks again for the responses.

[Anonymous]

I agree with some PPs that it hurts working women.. it adds to the belief that women with kids are not good career choices- and forces women who are career women to go overboard to prove the job comes first (an extreme). You're obviously going to do something that benefits yourself which is get paid something during maternity leave- but you're hurting working women. On the other hand, I have been through a few layoffs- if things go poorly- a company wouldn't hesitate to cut you off- you're not family- only your family is that. But when this happened- I worked in a huge company or small startup- it was impersonal- how has this company treated you? do you feel comfortable lying? BTW, I am a SAHM not by choice (laid off by small company when I said I was pregnant)- but have re-entered the working force part-time for a former company who asked me to return after my second pregnancy- i work from home and do well given it's p/t. I feel this company has treated me very well in the past and I would be honest with them now if I had to change our arrangement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Umm, typically Maternity Leave/Short Term Disability is accrued - based on work already done.

This may be true if she's getting STD leave. but "additional" Maternity leave in most other places is not "accrued". Either the company offers it, or doesn't, but in most places its not like you get an additional year of paid maternity leave for every year you work.

And, to the OP... the reality is, being a good hard-working employee for several years does not entitle you to maternity leave. You work there for a paycheck. If its not enough money, you take another job. But every other (non-pregnant) woman and man there is not entitled to a 12 week severance package (which is basically what you're scamming from them), and you aren't either just because of your pregnancy.

If I were a female co-worker of yours, I'd be pissed as hell, because doing stuff like this really DOES jeopardize these benefits for people who really need them.

[Anonymous]

as far as whether it's earned or not, it really depends on the benefits. like others said - STD, well, yeah, she earned and paid into that likely. but just taking the free money for a generous employer might offer even though IT'S NOT MANDATED BY LAW? that's BS and jeopardizes that benefit for other moms.

regardless, you are LYING to your employer. how can that be ethical?

[Anonymous]

For the record it is 6 weeks STD that I have accrued. It is not 3 months of "free money" the company is giving me.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand why people say STD is "accrued." It's a benefit, like insurance. You're covered from day one. Once coverage begins, you're eligible. You don't "accrue" it one day at a time for example. And there are contractual obligations for taking the benefit, just like the rest. For example, you don't accrue leave after you've been on leave without pay for a certain amount of time. STD, as a benefit, may not be available (contractually) if you don't return to work. There are lots of rules like that. It's meant to enable parents to take time off and come back to work. I really don't care if people want to lie about it to get the maximum benefit. But don't justify it by saying you've somehow earned it or "accrued it." That's not what it's for, rightly or wrongly.

[Anonymous]

I have my own unethical horror story: my employer tried to post my job as an open position BEFORE I even had my baby. Their claim to HR: I wasn't fulfilling the roles and responsibilities of my job because I couldn't travel during last trimester (my job is 30% travel and I was hi-risk throughout my pregnancy, fwiw). This despite the fact I was planning to find childcare and come back to work full-time. Needless to say, that move on their part helped me to make my decision.

It's not always the employees who are unethical. I earned my time off and the paid leave. I took it and I don't feel bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why people say STD is "accrued." It's a benefit, like insurance. You're covered from day one. Once coverage begins, you're eligible. You don't "accrue" it one day at a time for example. And there are contractual obligations for taking the benefit, just like the rest. For example, you don't accrue leave after you've been on leave without pay for a certain amount of time. STD, as a benefit, may not be available (contractually) if you don't return to work. There are lots of rules like that. It's meant to enable parents to take time off and come back to work. I really don't care if people want to lie about it to get the maximum benefit. But don't justify it by saying you've somehow earned it or "accrued it." That's not what it's for, rightly or wrongly.

I accrued STD. For every year worked, I earned 40 hours STD.

[Anonymous]

How is she hurting working women? The OP is not personally responsible for all the imagined or real opinions of coworkers everywhere. That is just bull shit.

You do what you feel you need to you. It is a personal decision and one that should not feel like needs to be shared or justified to your employers. They can hire someone else with a couple of weeks notice.

I told my HR dept that I would probably not be returning when I was pregnant. They advised me to stay on as an employee and give 2 weeks notice when I was 2 weeks away from returning. She then told me a horrible story about someone losing their baby, but we don't need to get into that. You really don't know what is going to happen and it may turn out that you need or want a job when you are post-partum.