s/o Asking for money for teens tacky?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have multiple large circles of friends, and we invariably do a lot of things in groups. The simple trick is that we are clear what is free and what is not from the get go and do not try and social engineer too many things.

A recent show invite that had 8 families from our neighborhood joining in. It was wonderful. We all paid for ourselves and one friend also brought along a couple who was visiting from OOS. 6 couples went out for dinner afterwards and I made reservations but checks were separate.

Friends, anyone interested in attending xxxxx show at xxxx venue? DH and I will be attending it and we have already purchased our tickets for DD/MM/YYYY the 7 pm show from ticket master. We have paid $xx for 2 tickets. You are free to buy more expensive or cheaper tickets based on availability. We plan to go for dinner at abc restaurant (yelp rating 4.7, $$). Let us know if you want to join in for the show, dinner or both. If you all want to go for dinner as a group, let me know and I will make reservations. We have place for 2 more people in our car, incase you don't want to drive at night.

My kids have learned that. They organize a lot of get togethers and meetups for their friends but they are clear what event they are hosting themselves (no money or food contribution), what is the dress code, what is a potluck (with menu), transportation, what contribution do they need etc.

They also travel a lot internationally as a group and they do a good job similarly.

Your examples are not even close to the topic.

[Anonymous]

We often take a friend to ski for the day with DS (12). They always have their own equipment, but I send a link ahead of time to the parents for the lift ticket. Going through DS gets them 50% off. I’m more than happy to drive them there and spend the day and buy treats and food, but I think it’s very reasonable for the parents to pay for the lift ticket. Even at 50% off it adds up quickly for us regular people. In this case I think it’s fine to say here’s the info for the lift tickets, etc.

[Anonymous]

We've take DCs' friends on ski trips, and we usually decline parents' offers to pay for any of it. However, that has been a once-a-year thing at most. If I had a ski house with a revolving door for guests, I wouldn't decline such offers. I wouldn't ask outright, though . . . we host people often at our primary and second homes, and I never ask or expect them to pitch in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We often take a friend to ski for the day with DS (12). They always have their own equipment, but I send a link ahead of time to the parents for the lift ticket. Going through DS gets them 50% off. I’m more than happy to drive them there and spend the day and buy treats and food, but I think it’s very reasonable for the parents to pay for the lift ticket. Even at 50% off it adds up quickly for us regular people. In this case I think it’s fine to say here’s the info for the lift tickets, etc.

That’s different. You’re not a host you are just driving them. It would be expected for both of them to buy their own ticket.

[Anonymous]

This sounds like a bad idea. I would not even let my 9 year old go. VERY different than 17 year old boys bumming around a beach house.

[Anonymous]

This belongs in the elementary school or parent forum

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hosting mean paying, IMO. If your kid is that social he can make friends for the weekend who are already at the ski resort.

Absolutely.

People like this ugh… If I invite your kid to spend a weekend with us skiing it absolutely does not mean I have to pay. I would never expect that from the host.

[Anonymous]

Don't invite anyone if you're not paying for the entire trip. That's just weird and embarrassing.

[Anonymous]

It all depends on how you word the invite and what feelers you have send before the invite.

Hey, would your kid be interested to come for a ski-trip with us? Usually, the cost is around $20 per child for unlimited run of the slope. Snacks and dinner will run around $20 more if we stick to pizza, nuggets and icecream. Should I arrange for that?

I will be happy to take the kids, or, you can also join us if you want. The more the merrier. Here is the link to their website.

It is easy. If you give them a head's up - it is all good.

[Anonymous]

This why people have two kids. Your second kid would be your ski buddy for your first. You don’t need to invite a friend then.

Would never invite a friend to ski as it can be dangerous and they could get hurt. I wouldn’t want that responsibility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a similar situation. We have a house near a ski resort where we go all winter on the weekends. My son is 9 and is a very social kid. We would be happy to bring a friend along sometimesbut the friend would need a lift ticket for 2 days, rentals and possibly a lesson. (for most friends) The lift tickets for 2 days is close to 200 plus rentals 40. We have season passes.

We are happy to feed and house the second kid but is it tacky to invite but then ask for the parents to cover the lift ticket and rental? My gut says yes, but I would like to let my son invite some friends this year but 300 per weekend would add up quickly. (I'm adding food at the mountain in there plus whatever incidentals)

Wow, I guess that’s one way to ostracize your kid.

“We own a vacation home worth probably close to a million, but this weekend’s $300 is where we feel the pinch.”

I’d understand if you were bringing the same guest every single weekend, but for the friend, it’s likely a one or two time thing.

You are inviting them for your kid’s entertainment, and probably your own benefit, so you can have some couple time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a similar situation. We have a house near a ski resort where we go all winter on the weekends. My son is 9 and is a very social kid. We would be happy to bring a friend along sometimesbut the friend would need a lift ticket for 2 days, rentals and possibly a lesson. (for most friends) The lift tickets for 2 days is close to 200 plus rentals 40. We have season passes.

We are happy to feed and house the second kid but is it tacky to invite but then ask for the parents to cover the lift ticket and rental? My gut says yes, but I would like to let my son invite some friends this year but 300 per weekend would add up quickly. (I'm adding food at the mountain in there plus whatever incidentals)

Wow, I guess that’s one way to ostracize your kid.

“We own a vacation home worth probably close to a million, but this weekend’s $300 is where we feel the pinch.”

I’d understand if you were bringing the same guest every single weekend, but for the friend, it’s likely a one or two time thing.

You are inviting them for your kid’s entertainment, and probably your own benefit, so you can have some couple time.

Gross you think they are there to get it on with a house full of teens? These aren’t toddlers who will be in bed by 8.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't invite anyone if you're not paying for the entire trip. That's just weird and embarrassing.

Do you ski?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a similar situation. We have a house near a ski resort where we go all winter on the weekends. My son is 9 and is a very social kid. We would be happy to bring a friend along sometimesbut the friend would need a lift ticket for 2 days, rentals and possibly a lesson. (for most friends) The lift tickets for 2 days is close to 200 plus rentals 40. We have season passes.

We are happy to feed and house the second kid but is it tacky to invite but then ask for the parents to cover the lift ticket and rental? My gut says yes, but I would like to let my son invite some friends this year but 300 per weekend would add up quickly. (I'm adding food at the mountain in there plus whatever incidentals)

Wow, I guess that’s one way to ostracize your kid.

“We own a vacation home worth probably close to a million, but this weekend’s $300 is where we feel the pinch.”

I’d understand if you were bringing the same guest every single weekend, but for the friend, it’s likely a one or two time thing.

You are inviting them for your kid’s entertainment, and probably your own benefit, so you can have some couple time.

Gross you think they are there to get it on with a house full of teens? These aren’t toddlers who will be in bed by 8.

I mean a glass of wine and a moments peace. I said couple time not sexy time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't invite anyone if you're not paying for the entire trip. That's just weird and embarrassing.

Do you ski?

NP. Yes, the whole world is aware how expensive skiing is. OP owns a ski home, she’ll manage.