Do your parents treat your mixed race kids different than their non-mixed race cousins?

[Anonymous]

My ILs invested so much of their identity into their Caucasian grandchildren that the relationship could not sustain any slight rupture. And rupture did come.
On the other hand, they had much less identity investment in their mixed race grandchildren and that's the relationship that continued. The grandparents are very proud of this set of progeny which they did not expect.

[Anonymous]

My family treats our children a bit different.

Jokes about hair texture, passing not passing for another race, how hair should be styled.

It’s exhausting.

[Anonymous]

What’s your definition of a mixed race kid?

[Anonymous]

We only have white people in our family, but my parents wouldn't care. Not sure about in laws, but my MIL has very publicly stated being gay is an abomination so I know how she stands on that topic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What’s your definition of a mixed race kid?

Example
Black mom White dad
Asian dad Black mom

Kids of these families are mixed race

[Anonymous]

I remember when George H.W. Bush said, “The little brown ones are Jeb’s.” That spoke volumes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, because they're a mixed-race couple themselves

Actually, research shows that parents bond less well with kids who look differently. Sad, but probably applies to grandparents too. It’s biological.

Out of all her grandkids (white, half Asian and half Indian) my mom has the most to say about the blond one. “No one in our family has ever been blond. Are you sure you got the right baby? He doesn’t look like any of us. I just don’t see our family there.” It’s so tiresome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My family treats our children a bit different.

Jokes about hair texture, passing not passing for another race, how hair should be styled.

It’s exhausting.

+1. My in-laws made comments about my "olive" skin color and then about "how fair" our children turned out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s your definition of a mixed race kid?

Example
Black mom White dad
Asian dad Black mom

Kids of these families are mixed race

Asian Mom White Dad
Polynesian Dad White Mom
Etc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, because they're a mixed-race couple themselves

Actually, research shows that parents bond less well with kids who look differently. Sad, but probably applies to grandparents too. It’s biological.

Makes sense evolutionarily. Men don’t want to expend scarce resources to raise another man’s offspring. If a kid doesn’t look like you, that was the best way to distinguish your own offspring from that of others in the millennia before DNA testing. We didn’t evolve in places with tons of different ethnicities mixing. If you did live in close proximity to other groups, they were considered enemies

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s your definition of a mixed race kid?

Example
Black mom White dad
Asian dad Black mom

Kids of these families are mixed race

Asian Mom White Dad
Polynesian Dad
White Mom
Etc

Yes.

[Anonymous]

My mother treats my sister’s biracial kids MUCH better than my Caucasian kids. Much. It is very obvious and hurtful. I am not sure if it is because she thinks because they’re biracial they will have a harder life and she needs to overcompensate, if she likes my sister more and by that end like her kids more than mine or a combo. Who knows.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, because they're a mixed-race couple themselves

Actually, research shows that parents bond less well with kids who look differently. Sad, but probably applies to grandparents too. It’s biological.

Makes sense evolutionarily. Men don’t want to expend scarce resources to raise another man’s offspring. If a kid doesn’t look like you, that was the best way to distinguish your own offspring from that of others in the millennia before DNA testing. We didn’t evolve in places with tons of different ethnicities mixing. If you did live in close proximity to other groups, they were considered enemies

Evolutionarily, humans will bond to anything that they feel needs caring. They are willing to expend resources to adopt children, animals, highways, etc.

[Anonymous]

My in-laws treat all the grandkids the same in private. At parties with their friends (all the same race as them), they are much more negative and dismissive when talking about the mixed race grandkids. And they don't even try to hide it. I hate it but it's culturally ingrained and I'm not going to be able to change people who are in their mid 70s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, because they're a mixed-race couple themselves

Actually, research shows that parents bond less well with kids who look differently. Sad, but probably applies to grandparents too. It’s biological.

Makes sense evolutionarily. Men don’t want to expend scarce resources to raise another man’s offspring. If a kid doesn’t look like you, that was the best way to distinguish your own offspring from that of others in the millennia before DNA testing. We didn’t evolve in places with tons of different ethnicities mixing. If you did live in close proximity to other groups, they were considered enemies

Also, historically, there have been many places where ethnicities mixed because of invasions, migrations, trade routes, etc.