Does perimenopause cause a husband aversion?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel pretty bad about this. I don’t know if it’s my changing hormones or if my husband has developed annoying habits and/or dropped maintaining basic manners as he has aged. But OMG, I’m annoyed by him a lot of the time.

Its that plus them aging and losing manners. The combo is horrific. Then add in your teenagers hormones and lord help us all to survive these years.

Yes! I feel like I’ve been gaslit. I swear he wasn’t this way when we dated and in early marriage. Did he have a mini stroke and forget it’s gross to talk with a mouthful or food or to make a giant poop with the bathroom door wide open for all to see and hear? I don’t get it.

Are we all married to the same man or are they all the same after 50 and it only gets worse every year?

How about peeing, in the half bath next to the kitchen, without shutting the door completely. What? The kids don’t even do that. And yes, we have two teens. All 3 of them are nasty and I don’t know who is the worst.

[Anonymous]

I was starting to feel this way, and then went on hormones. I don’t feel this way anymore, and it had been slow to start and so insidious that I didn’t realize it was peri. I started hormones so I could sleep better, and it made all aspects of my life so much better.

[Anonymous]

100%

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes I need to put a pillow between us at night so I can’t feel him breathing on me.

OMG the night breathing...ugh.

The daytime breathing! The burping, the pooting, the hair in the sink, the coffee splatters. I could go on.

For the night breathing, I recommend separate bedrooms although this does reduce intimacy.

Intimacy? What is that? Lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was starting to feel this way, and then went on hormones. I don’t feel this way anymore, and it had been slow to start and so insidious that I didn’t realize it was peri. I started hormones so I could sleep better, and it made all aspects of my life so much better.

I’m on HRT and still feel this way, lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Haha, yes. Wine and separate vacations help. I think separate homes would be ideal for everyone.

+1

When he goes on work trips I love our texts. He's great when he's away. I'm sure I am too

My DH and I get along so well over texts. In person, at home, he just says so many things. Like, you don’t have to say out loud everything that pops into your head.

[Anonymous]

No. DH and I are very much in love and like being with each other. We also have a good sex-life and lots of laughter. Been married for 37 years, together for 40 years. Two great kids. Semi-empty nesters. I am a SAH spouse. He likes his work.

However, since many years, we have also built up our own space within the marriage and daily life to recharge. This translates into -
1) Separate bedrooms and separate bathrooms at home.
2) Areas of responsibilities (he cooks, I do meticulous laundry)
3) Cleaning lady.
4) Making time for his, mine and our friends and family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes I need to put a pillow between us at night so I can’t feel him breathing on me.

OMG the night breathing...ugh.

The daytime breathing! The burping, the pooting, the hair in the sink, the coffee splatters. I could go on.

For the night breathing, I recommend separate bedrooms although this does reduce intimacy.

No. Separate bedrooms have made our sex-life better.

[Anonymous]

My mom and aunt were talking about this and it’s so funny to me.
“Is there anything worse than settling into bed and then the door opens and he says mind if I join you?” *groaning*
“He wants to take a getaway. More like GO away! Go away from me and let me have the house to myself.”
“The real vacation would be a vacation from his presence.”
They say I’ll understand soon.

[Anonymous]

yeah, probably more about your mood and hormonal changes.

[Anonymous]

I can't imagine sharing a bed. Separate beds/bedrooms are the way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Haha, yes. Wine and separate vacations help. I think separate homes would be ideal for everyone.

+1

When he goes on work trips I love our texts. He's great when he's away. I'm sure I am too

Japanese Proverb: "A good husband is healthy and absent."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. DH and I are very much in love and like being with each other. We also have a good sex-life and lots of laughter. Been married for 37 years, together for 40 years. Two great kids. Semi-empty nesters. I am a SAH spouse. He likes his work.

However, since many years, we have also built up our own space within the marriage and daily life to recharge. This translates into -
1) Separate bedrooms and separate bathrooms at home.
2) Areas of responsibilities (he cooks, I do meticulous laundry)
3) Cleaning lady.
4) Making time for his, mine and our friends and family.

So basically a husband won’t annoy you as long as they sleep in their own bedroom, use their own bathroom, you pay someone else pick up after them, and they don’t ruin your clothes by trying to “help” with the laundry. If only what was my reality but it isn’t

[Anonymous]

Many of us were very forgiving and understanding when we were younger I'd say.
The things I took as 'we are all different', were absolutely unacceptable and perhaps even illegal now.
I just found a former 'friend' online and called him up. I remember him as a nice person. He even said that he is much nicer now. After texting him for couple of days, I find him a completely jerk.
I went back in time in my head and remembered that this guy almost got me arrested, beat up, dumped, and put me in danger a few times. He also borrowed money he never paid back. I didn't ask for it back then, but had no problem telling him now that I wanted it back when he turned into a jerk while texting.
He said that he would give it back to me if I slept with him. GTFOH!
As for some man living with me, I wouldn't tolerate their noises. Glad to have a partner who comes over and then leaves.
He is cleaner and makes less noises than anyone I know. I even have to check if he is still breathing at times when done and calmed down.
He is very aware of smells, noises, and his impact on other people around him. Absolute pleasure to be around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah. I want to divorce mine.

You’re no peach either