Single moms - how do you handle activities?

[Anonymous]

I didn’t leave my kids home alone at 10 either; that’s a personal preference. But as others have said, don’t make her do cheer— just find something nearby to do with her near the cheer practice location— library, park, grocery store, whatever. It’s not unusual for kids to be brought along for sibling activities. That’s part of life.

[Anonymous]

Single mom with two girls close in age.
First, if it’s an activity only one wants to do, then you spend quality time with the other while it’s going on. Let her choose the way you spend time together.
Second, is it really worth all this to do cheer? As single moms we have to be choosy about activities, does cheer really warrant all this inconvenience?
Doubt it.

[Anonymous]

Just let the younger one stay home alone unless she wants to come. Not a big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Single mom with two girls close in age.
First, if it’s an activity only one wants to do, then you spend quality time with the other while it’s going on. Let her choose the way you spend time together.
Second, is it really worth all this to do cheer? As single moms we have to be choosy about activities, does cheer really warrant all this inconvenience?
Doubt it.

Cheese, let her decide.
-single mom with kids in travel sports, it's "worth it" for us

[Anonymous]

Single mom of 2 girls.

They each get 1-2 activities at a time. If it's 2, I try to have one be directly after school.

Right now we have:
Tuesdays Kid 1 gymnastics 6:15-7:15, Kid 2 dance 6:30-7:30. This involves me driving around like a crazy lady from 5:50-8pm but it's ok.

Wednesdays Kid 2 theater at school right after school. This is very nice bc she usually gets home at 4 but I pick her up at 5 instead.

Thursdsays Kid 1 dance after school at a nearby location. Another mom drives her there and I drive the other kid home.

[Anonymous]

I disagree with the leaving the 10 year old home alone. Sure I was left alone at 10, started babysitting at 12, but that was 20 years ago. I leave my 9 year old alone for 15 minutes while I walk across the street to Walmart for a couple items, but I wouldn't drive anywhere without her because I fear I'll get into a car accident and she will be alone while I'm off in some hospital or something.

2 hours a few times a year for a 10 year old sounds okay. 2 hours multiple times a week for a 10 year old who isn't a fan of being home alone? No.

I am a single mom and a few years ago I started only signing my kids up for things they can do at the same time, like swim lessons (separate levels same time). Yeah it kinda sucks, but they will be alright.

[Anonymous]

Why can’t you drop off your daughter for cheer instead of staying?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I disagree with the leaving the 10 year old home alone. Sure I was left alone at 10, started babysitting at 12, but that was 20 years ago. I leave my 9 year old alone for 15 minutes while I walk across the street to Walmart for a couple items, but I wouldn't drive anywhere without her because I fear I'll get into a car accident and she will be alone while I'm off in some hospital or something.

2 hours a few times a year for a 10 year old sounds okay. 2 hours multiple times a week for a 10 year old who isn't a fan of being home alone? No.

I am a single mom and a few years ago I started only signing my kids up for things they can do at the same time, like swim lessons (separate levels same time). Yeah it kinda sucks, but they will be alright.

WTH does it being 20 years ago matter?

Yes, 10-year-olds can stay alone.

[Anonymous]

I'll add in that getting both kids gizmo watches can help.

If the younger one is nervous being home alone, having a gizmo watch --or something else she can call you with in the unlikely event there is an emergency--may make her less nervous. If you are going to do something with the younger one, giving the older one a gizmo--or something she can call you with--if there is an emergency or even for reasons of convenience, e.g., another mom can take her home or practice is going to run shorter or longer than usual.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not a single mom but I have 3 kids and a husband with a very demanding job so I’m mostly on my own for the kids.

You can leave a 10yo at home alone for 2 hours. You can also drop off 12yo, come home or eat dinner with younger child and then go back to pick up the older child. I would not force child to do the activity she doesn’t want. I would try to find another activity for her.

My son is friends with two good friends with single moms. We often ask one another for rides. I also asked married moms so I don’t think marital status matters.

Agree that plenty of married moms are in exact same boat. I feel like whether I’m taking a kids to soccer or gymnastics or swimming lessons, there are pretty much always parents who’ve brought along a sibling who just has to wait through it or run an errand with a parent and then come back. I wouldn’t sign a kid up for an activity they didn’t want to do, but we don’t have to treat them like little royals. Sometimes you have to just come along to things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have 2 girls, 10yo and 12yo. Their is not in the picture at all for reasons I’m not going into here. They both did an entry level cheer team last winter. My 12yo really wants to continue and be on a year long team. It would be 2 days a week practice plus some local competitions eventually. My 10yo does not want to do it again and would honestly be happy doing nothing.

The issue is that if my 12yo does cheer, my 10yo would have to come along to practices anyway because I can’t leave her home for 2 hours. No one lives close enough to carpool.

So WWYD? Make the younger one do it too since she has to be there anyway? Let the older one continue and let the younger one quit? Or say no to the whole thing because with one parent it is just too much?

Curious how other solo moms handle this. TIA

10yo picks an activity on the other 2 afternoons per week.

[Anonymous]

It’s fine to leave the 10 yo for 2 hours but here is the real issue. Eventually kid 2 might want to join a time intensive activity. Then what? It’s not fair to say no to your second child because all your time is spent at cheer. And it’s not fair to suddenly tell your older kid cheer has to stop.

I’ve said no to activities when I can’t make it work with driving or carpools and our overall lives became too busy. DH traveled a lot and it was 90% me.

[Anonymous]

She doesn’t have to watch practice. Can you find something to do with her nearby? Library, target, groceries, hiking, geocaching, frisbee. This could be great bonding time for you both!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why can’t you drop off your daughter for cheer instead of staying?

That was my thought. Find a cheer place closer to your house so you can drop off and come home. 2 hours is a long time.

[Anonymous]

You got some great suggestions and I do all of these (carpools, uber one way, using public libraries/mcdonalds for WiFi). I also have my children use public transit, even part of the way can open up more activity options for DD2.)

Re leaving daughter at home— I recommend talking with her. Explain the options that are feasible for you. Have her pick. She won’t be upset about being home alone if she picked that option.