Single moms - how do you handle activities?
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
I have 2 girls, 10yo and 12yo. Their is not in the picture at all for reasons I’m not going into here. They both did an entry level cheer team last winter. My 12yo really wants to continue and be on a year long team. It would be 2 days a week practice plus some local competitions eventually. My 10yo does not want to do it again and would honestly be happy doing nothing.
The issue is that if my 12yo does cheer, my 10yo would have to come along to practices anyway because I can’t leave her home for 2 hours. No one lives close enough to carpool. So WWYD? Make the younger one do it too since she has to be there anyway? Let the older one continue and let the younger one quit? Or say no to the whole thing because with one parent it is just too much? Curious how other solo moms handle this. TIA |
Anonymous
| Do not make the 10 year old do it. Find her another activity nearby or a park or a library where you and she can go if it's too far to drive home during the practice. Go grocery shopping and let her help you plan meals for the week. |
Anonymous
|
You can leave a ten year old home alone for two hours.
Don’t make her do an activity just because the kid does. Can you afford an Uber, even just in one direction? We started at 13 when there weren’t enough drivers to get it all done. |
Anonymous
| Similar circumstances, slightly older. I have an au pair - she helps with the driving immensely. Not sure if that is an option for you- I realize a lot of people don't love having them, but for my kids our's have been fantastic - I screen for good drivers, slightly older 22+, and hopefully have lived away from home if even briefly. I also do make both girls do an activity b/c I think having something outside of school is important. I would also have zero qualms about leaving a 10 yo home alone for two hours - especially if she has an ipad and can contact you. I wouldn't force her to do cheer, but I'd find something she might enjoy. |
Anonymous
| Why can't your 10 year old stay home alone? |
Anonymous
| I have 3 kids, and if we didn't have nearby grandparents it would be difficult. As it is, I do try to rely on as many team carpools as possible and my youngest gets pulled along to a lot. That said - I'd be OK leaving my younger kids home alone by 10 yo. It's within the guidelines in VA to do so. |
Anonymous
Not the Uber but +1 to the rest of it. Solo mom with 10yo and just-turned 13yo. The younger one gained more independence during the pandemic and stayed that way so I'd be fine leaving her home alone for 2 hours. She has a Gabb/Gizmo watch but we also have a spare cell phone she could use in case of emergency. Honestly, things were much harder a year or two ago. My kids have very difference interests, and I cannot imagine making the younger one participate in anything she doesn't want to. Now that the older one is 13, might try teen Uber at some point but so far can handle all the rides myself and the one-offs I can't, she can usually grab a ride with a friend/teammate. |
Anonymous
|
I’m not a single mom but I have 3 kids and a husband with a very demanding job so I’m mostly on my own for the kids.
You can leave a 10yo at home alone for 2 hours. You can also drop off 12yo, come home or eat dinner with younger child and then go back to pick up the older child. I would not force child to do the activity she doesn’t want. I would try to find another activity for her. My son is friends with two good friends with single moms. We often ask one another for rides. I also asked married moms so I don’t think marital status matters. |
Anonymous
| OP here. Thanks, I felt guilty keeping my 10yo home but seems like that's the right way to handle this. She doesn't love being alone but she would dislike watching practice more. I am just super sensitive about these things at the moment! Thank you! |
Anonymous
| Don't sweat it, I'm just a couple years both of your kids will be more independent and you won't feel guilty about leaving the younger one home alone. Chances are she will find another activity that she wants to do and you can sort out a carpool for that or after school activity bus. |
Anonymous
| Why can't you leave the 10 year old home? In 4th grade (so age 9), I started letting DD stay home alone for short periods. She saw it as a big responsibility. I feel like it's age appropriate level of independence to help not raise anxious kids. |
Anonymous
|
I only have one kid but she does year round soccer plus other activities. I work 6-6 but not every day, spouse is 4-midnight. I’m solo parenting every weeknight.
I wouldn’t make a kid do Something they don’t want to ( other than swim lessons). Let the 12yo continue and either leave the 10yo home or once a week pay sitter/driver to take 12yo. We pay a sitter once a week to take DD to soccer and bring her home again. She doesnt even have to watch the soccer but we pay for that time anyway. |
Anonymous
I get it. But you can leave your ten year old home. You also you most certainly do not have to stay and watch the practices. Even if it's too far so it doesn't make sense to go back home, you could take younger DD and then after you DROP OFF her sister at cheer practice, you and 10 year old go do things...errands, walk, bike ride, do homework at a coffee shop, whatever... |
Anonymous
This. I think it's fine to leave the younger home solo occasionally, but would also be a good opportunity for 1:1 time while the older is at practice. |
Anonymous
| You can totally leave a 10 year old alone, but I also agree a mixture of 1:1 with something fun or just errands sometimes would be good too. |