Can’t wrap my head around this.
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Anonymous
| What does he say the reason is for the move? |
Anonymous
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There is no way of helping you wrap you head around this without more information.
Respond to questions, or end this. |
Anonymous
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My parents divorced when I was three and my father moved like 2 1/2 hours away. Growing up it was just always the way things were, I would see him on the occasional weekend but lots of times plans fell through, there was like a week or two in the summer sometimes and again it was just the way things were. It wasn’t until my own son turned three that I had realized what an a$$hoor he was and how extraordinarily selfish and irresponsible he was. Moving that far away from your child and the 26-year-old deeply struggling single woman you stuck him with became unforgivable write an hour on my 33rd birthday when I realized who I was truly dealing with.
Your children will likely follow suit, right now it’s just this weird kind of adventure and things changed but the gravity of it won’t hit them until some time has passed. Let me guess, he’s one of these guys where nothing ever quite works out? he almost wrote a book? Bought a bunch of paint supplies and never used them? Spent a few thousand on fitness equipment that got used eight times? Tell us stories that have a tinge of ‘I could’ve been great’? |
Anonymous
Nothing to understand other than he only cares about himself and only puts himself (and possibly his career work) first. Not his children. Not his wife or marriage or being a well rounded person. He is consistently making decisions and behaving than way: What is best and easiest for me, and me only. That is all that is going on now, before and in the future. Your lawyer has likely seen this self-centered divorced parent many times before. Use it for your negotiations and strategy—ask for what you want, but in a way that it makes his life easier. And he will take it. |
Anonymous
Ah yes the family secret they hide from the girlfriends and wives: We all have serious mental disorders! |
Anonymous
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This happens a lot to divorced working men.
They move to improve their own lives, usually work or a new woman. They don’t make decisions based on their kids’ needs or yours or even their elderly parents’. Stop thinking like a woman and think like a man! |
Anonymous
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I wouldn't mind at all, it solves a lot of custody problems. Your goal is to get the most money out of him, including guarantees for college, and the least custody hassle.
He might meet someone in the next few years, have more kids, suddenly get hit with the reality of college costs and find ways to wriggle out of them. So perhaps get a lump sum now just for that. My son's private university is now in the 90K+ (thank goodness he has merit aid). In-state flagship costs more than 30K. |
Anonymous
| Maybe see if you can get him to pay for the kids' therapy from being abandoned. Lawyer up. |
Anonymous
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Good riddance.
Get your half assets, 90-100% custody time, whatever child support, claim on future/ deferred income step ups for 10+ years, and raise your kid right in peace. |
Anonymous
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If this is one of those situations where he “suddenly” gets a big raise and promotion once divorced, after you propped him up for the entirety of the marriage, you have claim on that half as well.
Every year. Get a forensic accountant if he’s deferring or hiding income or wealth or ownership of assets bought recently or imminently. |
Anonymous
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He needs his will to have assets in irrevocable trusts for your mutual children.
Avoid the blended family, wife 2,3,4 siphoning off all his future monies as he kicks his first batch of kids and wife to the curb. |
Anonymous
| Just make sure HE is the one telling the kids his plans. You just listen and be supportive of the kids. If they ask why or if he doesn’t love them, you let him explain. In private you help them process. |
Anonymous
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You’re in the best possible scenario, OP. I’ve prayed for this outcome. And with regards to the above comment about making sure he communicates and owns his decision to the kids: I made mine do that and it was later used against me in a brutal custody battle. The wrong person with an agenda in family law can really twist this.
Seriously, you could not ask for a better choice for the other party to make in a divorce with kids. Don’t say a peep, file your papers, offer weekly visitation or time with the kids in a proactive way until you have a written and court-approved parenting plan, and document the crap out of every interaction or lack of. |
Anonymous
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What is the main reason for your divorce OP?
Could your STBX Husband be having a mid-life crisis & possibly wants to live his life as a bachelor?? I.e., no family responsibilities, etc. No matter what his reasoning > he is acting like a selfish jerk if he actually follows through on this. 😠 |
Anonymous
| This is common in Texas where you pay the same child support whether you get 50% custody or zero. |