Rigid parents in this area?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is ai spam

You can't even spell AI.

[Anonymous]

This is not real.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS is quite a social butterfly, while I am not. While he was little, sure, I organized playdates, joined the PTA, carpooled, obviously drove him everywhere. But I really hoped once he'd got older, I wouldn't have to deal with other parents, their drama, rigidity, rules, so I raised a pretty independent boy. He is not afraid to use public transportation, he flies across the country by himself to see his grandparents. When other parents hear about this, they openly judge me, they take pride that their children don't know how to buy a bus ticket, and they drive them everywhere. They are 16-17 yo! They go everywhere with them, it's insane. Most recently I had a Mom scold me because my DS took an uber from a friend's party (he is getting a car this summer). Apparently, I should've come to pick him up, but I was home sick with a stomach bug. I know, I should've kept my cool, but I told her it was none of her business. She was aghast and I hung up on her. She then proceeded to text other parents, word got around, and I got a few messages about "safety".

How flexible are you with your teens? When do you expect to let it go?

Honestly, its less about independence than you are a hands off parent. Good brag. Uber occasionally is fine if you are sick but it sounds like you have your kids parent themselves. I wouldn't allow most of what you do and nothing wrong with that.

Your son sounds like he gets slapped around a lot. Do you not let your 17 year old son take public transportation, or an Uber?

OP, you must not live in DC, because you won’t find any teenagers restricted from doing the above for families that live in the city.

[Anonymous]

You were rude.

Apologize, and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're the rigid one, as in, you weird rules about what you should do, and you have very poor social skills, with the mental rigidity commonly associated with Asperger's or high-functioning autism.

The only reason you're being ostracized is because you were horrifically rude to the other parent. You've only got yourself to blame. This isn't about parenting difference at all.

How rude. I’ve been seeing a pattern of diagnosis OPs as high functioning autistic lately. It’s rude and uncalled for.

But here it's warranted. OP should not have attacked the other parent, and given her post, she avoids social interactions (that she calls drama) and does her own thing. She's proud of going against the grain of whatever parenting style is happening in her area (clearly not DC), but despite believing others should just accept her rudeness, she's hypersensitive when others are rude to her.

From my perspective, the red flags are all there. I know a lot of autistic adults. They all tend to behave that way, because they lack social awareness and are quite prickly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
You were rude.

Apologize, and move on.

What’s rude is to call someone and scold them because their 17 year old son took an Uber.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS is quite a social butterfly, while I am not. While he was little, sure, I organized playdates, joined the PTA, carpooled, obviously drove him everywhere. But I really hoped once he'd got older, I wouldn't have to deal with other parents, their drama, rigidity, rules, so I raised a pretty independent boy. He is not afraid to use public transportation, he flies across the country by himself to see his grandparents. When other parents hear about this, they openly judge me, they take pride that their children don't know how to buy a bus ticket, and they drive them everywhere. They are 16-17 yo! They go everywhere with them, it's insane. Most recently I had a Mom scold me because my DS took an uber from a friend's party (he is getting a car this summer). Apparently, I should've come to pick him up, but I was home sick with a stomach bug. I know, I should've kept my cool, but I told her it was none of her business. She was aghast and I hung up on her. She then proceeded to text other parents, word got around, and I got a few messages about "safety".

How flexible are you with your teens? When do you expect to let it go?

Honestly, its less about independence than you are a hands off parent. Good brag. Uber occasionally is fine if you are sick but it sounds like you have your kids parent themselves. I wouldn't allow most of what you do and nothing wrong with that.

Your son sounds like he gets slapped around a lot. Do you not let your 17 year old son take public transportation, or an Uber?

OP, you must not live in DC, because you won’t find any teenagers restricted from doing the above for families that live in the city.

I’m in Arlington with an 8th grader and can’t imagine this. I know lots of kids who take the bus, ride bikes across town, use metro.

[Anonymous]

I grew up in neglect. My mom expected me to trick or treat by myself while she sat on the couch at home. She couldn't come with me on the day's drive away to check into college, so I drove it all on my own and was the only freshman checking in alone without a parent. I had never even driven on an interstate before. "Apparently, I should've come to pick him up, but I was home sick with a stomach bug." But how hard is it to get in a car and pull up curbside without getting out of the car? Not very. I would go get him. But then again, I know what it's like to have a Mom who couldn't be bothered to get up off the couch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in neglect. My mom expected me to trick or treat by myself while she sat on the couch at home. She couldn't come with me on the day's drive away to check into college, so I drove it all on my own and was the only freshman checking in alone without a parent. I had never even driven on an interstate before. "Apparently, I should've come to pick him up, but I was home sick with a stomach bug." But how hard is it to get in a car and pull up curbside without getting out of the car? Not very. I would go get him. But then again, I know what it's like to have a Mom who couldn't be bothered to get up off the couch.

It’s normal for kids to trick or treat with their friends, not their mommies. Sounds like you just didn’t have any friends, and it’s not hard to see why.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS is quite a social butterfly, while I am not. While he was little, sure, I organized playdates, joined the PTA, carpooled, obviously drove him everywhere. But I really hoped once he'd got older, I wouldn't have to deal with other parents, their drama, rigidity, rules, so I raised a pretty independent boy. He is not afraid to use public transportation, he flies across the country by himself to see his grandparents. When other parents hear about this, they openly judge me, they take pride that their children don't know how to buy a bus ticket, and they drive them everywhere. They are 16-17 yo! They go everywhere with them, it's insane. Most recently I had a Mom scold me because my DS took an uber from a friend's party (he is getting a car this summer). Apparently, I should've come to pick him up, but I was home sick with a stomach bug. I know, I should've kept my cool, but I told her it was none of her business. She was aghast and I hung up on her. She then proceeded to text other parents, word got around, and I got a few messages about "safety".

How flexible are you with your teens? When do you expect to let it go?

Honestly, its less about independence than you are a hands off parent. Good brag. Uber occasionally is fine if you are sick but it sounds like you have your kids parent themselves. I wouldn't allow most of what you do and nothing wrong with that.

Your son sounds like he gets slapped around a lot. Do you not let your 17 year old son take public transportation, or an Uber?

OP, you must not live in DC, because you won’t find any teenagers restricted from doing the above for families that live in the city.

My kid doesn't have a lot of free time between school and activities. At 17, I expect them to drive. We drive. No, I'm not paying for uber except an emergency. They cannot be late for some things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in neglect. My mom expected me to trick or treat by myself while she sat on the couch at home. She couldn't come with me on the day's drive away to check into college, so I drove it all on my own and was the only freshman checking in alone without a parent. I had never even driven on an interstate before. "Apparently, I should've come to pick him up, but I was home sick with a stomach bug." But how hard is it to get in a car and pull up curbside without getting out of the car? Not very. I would go get him. But then again, I know what it's like to have a Mom who couldn't be bothered to get up off the couch.

It’s normal for kids to trick or treat with their friends, not their mommies. Sounds like you just didn’t have any friends, and it’s not hard to see why.

Good parents go and supervise. We found the lazy parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS is quite a social butterfly, while I am not. While he was little, sure, I organized playdates, joined the PTA, carpooled, obviously drove him everywhere. But I really hoped once he'd got older, I wouldn't have to deal with other parents, their drama, rigidity, rules, so I raised a pretty independent boy. He is not afraid to use public transportation, he flies across the country by himself to see his grandparents. When other parents hear about this, they openly judge me, they take pride that their children don't know how to buy a bus ticket, and they drive them everywhere. They are 16-17 yo! They go everywhere with them, it's insane. Most recently I had a Mom scold me because my DS took an uber from a friend's party (he is getting a car this summer). Apparently, I should've come to pick him up, but I was home sick with a stomach bug. I know, I should've kept my cool, but I told her it was none of her business. She was aghast and I hung up on her. She then proceeded to text other parents, word got around, and I got a few messages about "safety".

How flexible are you with your teens? When do you expect to let it go?

Honestly, its less about independence than you are a hands off parent. Good brag. Uber occasionally is fine if you are sick but it sounds like you have your kids parent themselves. I wouldn't allow most of what you do and nothing wrong with that.

Your son sounds like he gets slapped around a lot. Do you not let your 17 year old son take public transportation, or an Uber?

OP, you must not live in DC, because you won’t find any teenagers restricted from doing the above for families that live in the city.

My kid doesn't have a lot of free time between school and activities. At 17, I expect them to drive. We drive. No, I'm not paying for uber except an emergency. They cannot be late for some things.

If the kids drove themselves then OP wouldn’t have any complaints.

Why would an Uber make you late BTW?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS is quite a social butterfly, while I am not. While he was little, sure, I organized playdates, joined the PTA, carpooled, obviously drove him everywhere. But I really hoped once he'd got older, I wouldn't have to deal with other parents, their drama, rigidity, rules, so I raised a pretty independent boy. He is not afraid to use public transportation, he flies across the country by himself to see his grandparents. When other parents hear about this, they openly judge me, they take pride that their children don't know how to buy a bus ticket, and they drive them everywhere. They are 16-17 yo! They go everywhere with them, it's insane. Most recently I had a Mom scold me because my DS took an uber from a friend's party (he is getting a car this summer). Apparently, I should've come to pick him up, but I was home sick with a stomach bug. I know, I should've kept my cool, but I told her it was none of her business. She was aghast and I hung up on her. She then proceeded to text other parents, word got around, and I got a few messages about "safety".

How flexible are you with your teens? When do you expect to let it go?

It's this generation of parents who just don't let their kids grow up. And it's worse in the D.C. area.

They are doing everything exactly wrong to raise competent adults.

Today's overparenting style is pathetic and dangerous. It's creating a generation of losers.

[Anonymous]

OP here: to the PP who grew up in neglect - sorry your Mom didn't go trick or treating with you, let alone didn't move you into the dorms. No joke, it's just irresponsible. My DS stopped trick or treating when he was 12, he now stays home and gives out candy, but I always went with him and his friends. And I go with him on college tours. I can't imagine NOT moving him into the dorms.

I do, however, want to stress the need for independence among today's teenagers, and just let it ago. Let them make their own plans, don't drive them everywhere. It teaches responsibility. So they will take a bus if they don't own a car. Or an uber. Or ride a bike. But to call another parent and scold them for "not picking up your child", especially if that parent is ill, is rude, unnecessary, and ridiculous. If she expected me to apologize and go "yes, Ma'am, I will do better", well, she was wrong.

[Anonymous]

Many kids live in suburbs that are nowhere near buses or anything resembling public transportation. Mine started flying alone at 7 years old so I’ll be happy when she’s 16 and flying. Not so much worry.

A 16 or 17 year old boy can ride an uber alone, that’s not a big deal.

The one I think must be fake is claiming the 19 year old son avoids Ubers because of weed smell. That’s not normal.