Rigid parents in this area?

[Anonymous]

DS is quite a social butterfly, while I am not. While he was little, sure, I organized playdates, joined the PTA, carpooled, obviously drove him everywhere. But I really hoped once he'd got older, I wouldn't have to deal with other parents, their drama, rigidity, rules, so I raised a pretty independent boy. He is not afraid to use public transportation, he flies across the country by himself to see his grandparents. When other parents hear about this, they openly judge me, they take pride that their children don't know how to buy a bus ticket, and they drive them everywhere. They are 16-17 yo! They go everywhere with them, it's insane. Most recently I had a Mom scold me because my DS took an uber from a friend's party (he is getting a car this summer). Apparently, I should've come to pick him up, but I was home sick with a stomach bug. I know, I should've kept my cool, but I told her it was none of her business. She was aghast and I hung up on her. She then proceeded to text other parents, word got around, and I got a few messages about "safety".

How flexible are you with your teens? When do you expect to let it go?

[Anonymous]

Uber driver cars smell like weed a lot.

I avoid them, as does my 19 year old DS.

[Anonymous]

I don't know which Ubers you've been taking, none of mine "smelled like weed". And I take Ubers all over the world.

[Anonymous]

I don't believe you.

You love stirring up drama, so you're contradicting yourself.

[Anonymous]

You're the rigid one, as in, you weird rules about what you should do, and you have very poor social skills, with the mental rigidity commonly associated with Asperger's or high-functioning autism.

The only reason you're being ostracized is because you were horrifically rude to the other parent. You've only got yourself to blame. This isn't about parenting difference at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're the rigid one, as in, you weird rules about what you should do, and you have very poor social skills, with the mental rigidity commonly associated with Asperger's or high-functioning autism.

The only reason you're being ostracized is because you were horrifically rude to the other parent. You've only got yourself to blame. This isn't about parenting difference at all.

Horrifically rude? A person who I barely know calls me up not to inquire if my DS got home, but to scold me for allowing him to take an Uber. Who is rude here?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know which Ubers you've been taking, none of mine "smelled like weed". And I take Ubers all over the world.

Lucky you. I'd rather take Metro or other public transport.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS is quite a social butterfly, while I am not. While he was little, sure, I organized playdates, joined the PTA, carpooled, obviously drove him everywhere. But I really hoped once he'd got older, I wouldn't have to deal with other parents, their drama, rigidity, rules, so I raised a pretty independent boy. He is not afraid to use public transportation, he flies across the country by himself to see his grandparents. When other parents hear about this, they openly judge me, they take pride that their children don't know how to buy a bus ticket, and they drive them everywhere. They are 16-17 yo! They go everywhere with them, it's insane. Most recently I had a Mom scold me because my DS took an uber from a friend's party (he is getting a car this summer). Apparently, I should've come to pick him up, but I was home sick with a stomach bug. I know, I should've kept my cool, but I told her it was none of her business. She was aghast and I hung up on her. She then proceeded to text other parents, word got around, and I got a few messages about "safety".

How flexible are you with your teens? When do you expect to let it go?

How will they survive in college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS is quite a social butterfly, while I am not. While he was little, sure, I organized playdates, joined the PTA, carpooled, obviously drove him everywhere. But I really hoped once he'd got older, I wouldn't have to deal with other parents, their drama, rigidity, rules, so I raised a pretty independent boy. He is not afraid to use public transportation, he flies across the country by himself to see his grandparents. When other parents hear about this, they openly judge me, they take pride that their children don't know how to buy a bus ticket, and they drive them everywhere. They are 16-17 yo! They go everywhere with them, it's insane. Most recently I had a Mom scold me because my DS took an uber from a friend's party (he is getting a car this summer). Apparently, I should've come to pick him up, but I was home sick with a stomach bug. I know, I should've kept my cool, but I told her it was none of her business. She was aghast and I hung up on her. She then proceeded to text other parents, word got around, and I got a few messages about "safety".

How flexible are you with your teens? When do you expect to let it go?

How will they survive in college?

I actually asked one of the Moms that question. I couldn't get a straight answer, more like "we are instilling the right values".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're the rigid one, as in, you weird rules about what you should do, and you have very poor social skills, with the mental rigidity commonly associated with Asperger's or high-functioning autism.

The only reason you're being ostracized is because you were horrifically rude to the other parent. You've only got yourself to blame. This isn't about parenting difference at all.

How rude. I’ve been seeing a pattern of diagnosis OPs as high functioning autistic lately. It’s rude and uncalled for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS is quite a social butterfly, while I am not. While he was little, sure, I organized playdates, joined the PTA, carpooled, obviously drove him everywhere. But I really hoped once he'd got older, I wouldn't have to deal with other parents, their drama, rigidity, rules, so I raised a pretty independent boy. He is not afraid to use public transportation, he flies across the country by himself to see his grandparents. When other parents hear about this, they openly judge me, they take pride that their children don't know how to buy a bus ticket, and they drive them everywhere. They are 16-17 yo! They go everywhere with them, it's insane. Most recently I had a Mom scold me because my DS took an uber from a friend's party (he is getting a car this summer). Apparently, I should've come to pick him up, but I was home sick with a stomach bug. I know, I should've kept my cool, but I told her it was none of her business. She was aghast and I hung up on her. She then proceeded to text other parents, word got around, and I got a few messages about "safety".

How flexible are you with your teens? When do you expect to let it go?

Honestly, its less about independence than you are a hands off parent. Good brag. Uber occasionally is fine if you are sick but it sounds like you have your kids parent themselves. I wouldn't allow most of what you do and nothing wrong with that.

[Anonymous]

I’m with you, OP. Apparently, if you let your kids stay home alone or ride home in an Uber, some people label you as neglectful or “hands-off.” That’s really just their way of coping with the fact that they’re limiting their own children’s independence. You and your child are doing great—ignore the other parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS is quite a social butterfly, while I am not. While he was little, sure, I organized playdates, joined the PTA, carpooled, obviously drove him everywhere. But I really hoped once he'd got older, I wouldn't have to deal with other parents, their drama, rigidity, rules, so I raised a pretty independent boy. He is not afraid to use public transportation, he flies across the country by himself to see his grandparents. When other parents hear about this, they openly judge me, they take pride that their children don't know how to buy a bus ticket, and they drive them everywhere. They are 16-17 yo! They go everywhere with them, it's insane. Most recently I had a Mom scold me because my DS took an uber from a friend's party (he is getting a car this summer). Apparently, I should've come to pick him up, but I was home sick with a stomach bug. I know, I should've kept my cool, but I told her it was none of her business. She was aghast and I hung up on her. She then proceeded to text other parents, word got around, and I got a few messages about "safety".

How flexible are you with your teens? When do you expect to let it go?

Honestly, its less about independence than you are a hands off parent. Good brag. Uber occasionally is fine if you are sick but it sounds like you have your kids parent themselves. I wouldn't allow most of what you do and nothing wrong with that.

Ok, I'll bite, what is that you would "not allow"?

[Anonymous]

This is ai spam

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m with you, OP. Apparently, if you let your kids stay home alone or ride home in an Uber, some people label you as neglectful or “hands-off.” That’s really just their way of coping with the fact that they’re limiting their own children’s independence. You and your child are doing great—ignore the other parents.

Thank you. My kid gets good grades, has an after school job, is a good friend, he is kind, and we have a solid relationship. We travel together, we do stuff together, but I do not hover a 17 yo kid. I don't check his grades until his report card is posted. When he needed help with one of his school subjects, he came to me, we got a tutor right away, handled it.