Wife Lets Son Skip School All The Time

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is 18 soon, right? I wouldn't do anything, but divorce the wife.
DC missed 30 days every year in high school, all from ex's house. They graduated fine, is doing well in college, and works nearly full time.
You have to know why they do it. Mine was lazy, school was boring, and kids was convinced they let him graduate, because other were even dumber. That's in DC though.
Repeating a year would have been very good though.

They’re married and this is happening right under his nose in his own home?!?

Yeah.
Make this make sense

[Anonymous]

Your son doesn't sound academically-oriented. Maybe he should be learning a trade instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the absences are unexcused and kid is in high school, it sounds like the kid is skipping school and receiving the natural consequences of doing so.

What do you want your WIFE to do?

Make the kid go to school. Op plainly states that she lets him skip.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the absences are unexcused and kid is in high school, it sounds like the kid is skipping school and receiving the natural consequences of doing so.

What do you want your WIFE to do?

BE A PARENT! That's what she should do. FFS

I am a single parent and make my 17 year old go to school just fine even when he doesn't want to. It's what you signed up for when you gave birth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your son doesn't sound academically-oriented. Maybe he should be learning a trade instead.

Even trade schools require you to graduate HS.

I would tell the son that unless he graduates on time which he seems perfectly capable of doing, that once he reaches the age of 18 he is on his own. I'd also divorce. Your marriage is done anyway.

[Anonymous]

If there isn’t a health issue, maybe get a therapist. Or reach out to the school’s counselors for support.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s the wife that has the health issue (mental health).

[Anonymous]

They aren’t bluffing. Set up a meeting with the school so wife and kid understand how serious this is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is 18 soon, right? I wouldn't do anything, but divorce the wife.
DC missed 30 days every year in high school, all from ex's house. They graduated fine, is doing well in college, and works nearly full time.
You have to know why they do it. Mine was lazy, school was boring, and kids was convinced they let him graduate, because other were even dumber. That's in DC though.
Repeating a year would have been very good though.

They’re married and this is happening right under his nose in his own home?!?

Sounds like it. But if he leaves the house at 5:30 am, and can't be contacted while at work, what is he supposed to do?

He changes his work schedule. Usually people go in that early to beat traffic. And, there is access to a phone usually, just not your cell phone.

[Anonymous]

Has OP considered prioritizing his son's well-being over having this particular job?

[Anonymous]

It isn't clear if your son is skipping school and your wife isn't aware, but then when she becomes aware she doesn't care?

Or she is well aware he intends to skip school yet is too lazy to call in a reason for the absence? When you get the notification your son has missed why aren't YOU calling in the reason for the absence. You can send an email or leave a message.

The bigger question is why are so many of the absences unexcused? Is your son tired, depressed, anxious, or just going to a friend's house to hang out?

[Anonymous]

Why is your son skipping school? At the very least, what is his excuse?

[Anonymous]

I think your best next move is to set up a meeting with the school. Also, try asking this question on reddit because the husband (and mother-in-law) will always be the villain on this forum.

[Anonymous]

Natural consequences for both of them? That means son fails and maybe blames mom?

Natural consequences for you? Your son fails because you have turned over all control to your wife. TBH, you are prioritizing job over kid, like most men do, and sometimes there is a consequence for the kids. Most of the time the wife picks up the working man's slack, but not always. A responsible adult (man or woman) would be looking to see how he could change job hours to meet family responsiblities. Many women use FMLA to do this (if using to care for ill family member - depression, anxiety, etc. in loved one may qualify), or they use leave time.

I don't know what is going on with your wife, but your son is old enough to get himself up and to school on time. If he can't then there is a problem that means that he needs an assessment -- does he have school refusal? ADHD? some social anxiety? bad grades and so doesn't want to go? These are just "personal issues," they're usually a sign that a kid might have a diagnosable disorder and qualify for some kind of help at school - IEP or 504 plan.

[Anonymous]

I'll tell you what I wouldn't do. I wouldn't jeopardize my career for this. Your son will get natural consequences and hopefully mature a bit.

Other than that depends on whether your wife works or not, and how your salaries compare. Maybe she needs to get to a demanding job too and doesn't want to deal with it. Or maybe she's just a flake.