Anybody got a child whose intelligence did not seem to come from the parents?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My child's EQ is off the charts. DH and I just aren't wired that way. We wonder if it's because he did outdoor Waldorf school in his early years...

All mutations and genetics.

This. Your kid doesn't have great EQ because he went cross country skiing or learned to identify 6 types of mushrooms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents used to say that they didn't know who I got my intelligence from, or that they were given someone else's baby. My dad was shocked when I told him I got it from him.

He earned his GED 1/2 way through senior year of high school so he could go work in the rail yard. He didn't enjoy school, yet he is the smartest person I know. His memory and recollection of things he read or heard about stick with him forever. He has a deep understanding of concepts most people spend years studying. However, that's not the man most people acknowledge. They still see the class clown who would rather tell jokes than write a paper.

Intelligence comes in many forms, and getting into a certain caliber of institution is just one way to measure.

Oh, we all know the smartest in our families, and it does not necessarily correlate with prestige of undergrad institution.

Geniuses are often a maladjusted, somewhat non-conformist and lazy lot: I am convinced you will find more in flagships than truly elite schools.

My son is like this. He is not going to study Spanish if he does not like it, so HS was a struggle but he maxed put rigor in things he liked. He is in college at a state school where he makes more than 70k through different side hustles. Very high SAT and chess rating but B grades because homework submission is not a priority. He is a good networker and has landed great internships because he goes very deep into things he is interested in and some interviewers recognize that. My daughter keeps telling me to not worry about him but I do.

You only need one job and you just need to be really good at that one job. So if he finds a career that he is passionate about, he will do fine. Hopefully it is something that will allow him to pay the bills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents used to say that they didn't know who I got my intelligence from, or that they were given someone else's baby. My dad was shocked when I told him I got it from him.

He earned his GED 1/2 way through senior year of high school so he could go work in the rail yard. He didn't enjoy school, yet he is the smartest person I know. His memory and recollection of things he read or heard about stick with him forever. He has a deep understanding of concepts most people spend years studying. However, that's not the man most people acknowledge. They still see the class clown who would rather tell jokes than write a paper.

Intelligence comes in many forms, and getting into a certain caliber of institution is just one way to measure.

Oh, we all know the smartest in our families, and it does not necessarily correlate with prestige of undergrad institution.

Geniuses are often a maladjusted, somewhat non-conformist and lazy lot: I am convinced you will find more in flagships than truly elite schools.

My son is like this. He is not going to study Spanish if he does not like it, so HS was a struggle but he maxed put rigor in things he liked. He is in college at a state school where he makes more than 70k through different side hustles. Very high SAT and chess rating but B grades because homework submission is not a priority. He is a good networker and has landed great internships because he goes very deep into things he is interested in and some interviewers recognize that. My daughter keeps telling me to not worry about him but I do.

Most likely he’s got genes from one or both of you. Many adults didn’t realize they have the same traits because we grew up in a different environment.

[Anonymous]

Op did you think that kids are somehow robot replicas of their parents? What a bizarre question to ask.

[Anonymous]

My husband and I are "smart enough", and our daughter is smarter than both of us...graduated from Princeton.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents used to say that they didn't know who I got my intelligence from, or that they were given someone else's baby. My dad was shocked when I told him I got it from him.

He earned his GED 1/2 way through senior year of high school so he could go work in the rail yard. He didn't enjoy school, yet he is the smartest person I know. His memory and recollection of things he read or heard about stick with him forever. He has a deep understanding of concepts most people spend years studying. However, that's not the man most people acknowledge. They still see the class clown who would rather tell jokes than write a paper.

Intelligence comes in many forms, and getting into a certain caliber of institution is just one way to measure.

Oh, we all know the smartest in our families, and it does not necessarily correlate with prestige of undergrad institution.

Geniuses are often a maladjusted, somewhat non-conformist and lazy lot: I am convinced you will find more in flagships than truly elite schools.

My son is like this. He is not going to study Spanish if he does not like it, so HS was a struggle but he maxed put rigor in things he liked. He is in college at a state school where he makes more than 70k through different side hustles. Very high SAT and chess rating but B grades because homework submission is not a priority. He is a good networker and has landed great internships because he goes very deep into things he is interested in and some interviewers recognize that. My daughter keeps telling me to not worry about him but I do.

My DS too, IQ 150+ but the laziest (and I say this with kindness) person I've ever met because he does the least amount of effort to get by. But in T10 despite frustrating the heck out of many teachers and private school administrators, but his STEM teachers love him for his "inherent" (ie, zero studying) talent. I had him tested and he is ADHD inattentive but not on spectrum, just DOES NOT CARE. Maddening. We will see how next year goes...he is an audiodact at heart.

[Anonymous]

My son is brilliant. Way smarter than I am. I think he got his brains from my wife's AP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents used to say that they didn't know who I got my intelligence from, or that they were given someone else's baby. My dad was shocked when I told him I got it from him.

He earned his GED 1/2 way through senior year of high school so he could go work in the rail yard. He didn't enjoy school, yet he is the smartest person I know. His memory and recollection of things he read or heard about stick with him forever. He has a deep understanding of concepts most people spend years studying. However, that's not the man most people acknowledge. They still see the class clown who would rather tell jokes than write a paper.

Intelligence comes in many forms, and getting into a certain caliber of institution is just one way to measure.

Oh, we all know the smartest in our families, and it does not necessarily correlate with prestige of undergrad institution.

Geniuses are often a maladjusted, somewhat non-conformist and lazy lot: I am convinced you will find more in flagships than truly elite schools.

My son is like this. He is not going to study Spanish if he does not like it, so HS was a struggle but he maxed put rigor in things he liked. He is in college at a state school where he makes more than 70k through different side hustles. Very high SAT and chess rating but B grades because homework submission is not a priority. He is a good networker and has landed great internships because he goes very deep into things he is interested in and some interviewers recognize that. My daughter keeps telling me to not worry about him but I do.

My DS too, IQ 150+ but the laziest (and I say this with kindness) person I've ever met because he does the least amount of effort to get by. But in T10 despite frustrating the heck out of many teachers and private school administrators, but his STEM teachers love him for his "inherent" (ie, zero studying) talent. I had him tested and he is ADHD inattentive but not on spectrum, just DOES NOT CARE. Maddening. We will see how next year goes...he is an audiodact at heart.

I also got my son recently tested (as in two weeks back) and his diagnosis is also the same, ADHD inattentive but not on the spectrum. He is at one to the top Calfornia public schools and seems to have found his people which is good. I can totally relate with the laziness and not caring. I think that only goes away when they find things they care about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents used to say that they didn't know who I got my intelligence from, or that they were given someone else's baby. My dad was shocked when I told him I got it from him.

He earned his GED 1/2 way through senior year of high school so he could go work in the rail yard. He didn't enjoy school, yet he is the smartest person I know. His memory and recollection of things he read or heard about stick with him forever. He has a deep understanding of concepts most people spend years studying. However, that's not the man most people acknowledge. They still see the class clown who would rather tell jokes than write a paper.

Intelligence comes in many forms, and getting into a certain caliber of institution is just one way to measure.

Oh, we all know the smartest in our families, and it does not necessarily correlate with prestige of undergrad institution.

Geniuses are often a maladjusted, somewhat non-conformist and lazy lot: I am convinced you will find more in flagships than truly elite schools.

My son is like this. He is not going to study Spanish if he does not like it, so HS was a struggle but he maxed put rigor in things he liked. He is in college at a state school where he makes more than 70k through different side hustles. Very high SAT and chess rating but B grades because homework submission is not a priority. He is a good networker and has landed great internships because he goes very deep into things he is interested in and some interviewers recognize that. My daughter keeps telling me to not worry about him but I do.

My DS too, IQ 150+ but the laziest (and I say this with kindness) person I've ever met because he does the least amount of effort to get by. But in T10 despite frustrating the heck out of many teachers and private school administrators, but his STEM teachers love him for his "inherent" (ie, zero studying) talent. I had him tested and he is ADHD inattentive but not on spectrum, just DOES NOT CARE. Maddening. We will see how next year goes...he is an audiodact at heart.

Do these tendencies of his stress him out at all? Or is he happy with how he’s doing life? Genuinely curious! Also, what does he choose to do with his free time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents used to say that they didn't know who I got my intelligence from, or that they were given someone else's baby. My dad was shocked when I told him I got it from him.

He earned his GED 1/2 way through senior year of high school so he could go work in the rail yard. He didn't enjoy school, yet he is the smartest person I know. His memory and recollection of things he read or heard about stick with him forever. He has a deep understanding of concepts most people spend years studying. However, that's not the man most people acknowledge. They still see the class clown who would rather tell jokes than write a paper.

Intelligence comes in many forms, and getting into a certain caliber of institution is just one way to measure.

Oh, we all know the smartest in our families, and it does not necessarily correlate with prestige of undergrad institution.

Geniuses are often a maladjusted, somewhat non-conformist and lazy lot: I am convinced you will find more in flagships than truly elite schools.

My son is like this. He is not going to study Spanish if he does not like it, so HS was a struggle but he maxed put rigor in things he liked. He is in college at a state school where he makes more than 70k through different side hustles. Very high SAT and chess rating but B grades because homework submission is not a priority. He is a good networker and has landed great internships because he goes very deep into things he is interested in and some interviewers recognize that. My daughter keeps telling me to not worry about him but I do.

My DS too, IQ 150+ but the laziest (and I say this with kindness) person I've ever met because he does the least amount of effort to get by. But in T10 despite frustrating the heck out of many teachers and private school administrators, but his STEM teachers love him for his "inherent" (ie, zero studying) talent. I had him tested and he is ADHD inattentive but not on spectrum, just DOES NOT CARE. Maddening. We will see how next year goes...he is an audiodact at heart.

I also got my son recently tested (as in two weeks back) and his diagnosis is also the same, ADHD inattentive but not on the spectrum. He is at one to the top Calfornia public schools and seems to have found his people which is good. I can totally relate with the laziness and not caring. I think that only goes away when they find things they care about.

Isn’t that most people? People really focus when they find things they care about. It’s finding your thing that can be difficult.

[Anonymous]

1. Genetic reassortment is real.

2. Sometimes the parent is not the bio parent.

- geneticist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents used to say that they didn't know who I got my intelligence from, or that they were given someone else's baby. My dad was shocked when I told him I got it from him.

He earned his GED 1/2 way through senior year of high school so he could go work in the rail yard. He didn't enjoy school, yet he is the smartest person I know. His memory and recollection of things he read or heard about stick with him forever. He has a deep understanding of concepts most people spend years studying. However, that's not the man most people acknowledge. They still see the class clown who would rather tell jokes than write a paper.

Intelligence comes in many forms, and getting into a certain caliber of institution is just one way to measure.

Oh, we all know the smartest in our families, and it does not necessarily correlate with prestige of undergrad institution.

Geniuses are often a maladjusted, somewhat non-conformist and lazy lot: I am convinced you will find more in flagships than truly elite schools.

My son is like this. He is not going to study Spanish if he does not like it, so HS was a struggle but he maxed put rigor in things he liked. He is in college at a state school where he makes more than 70k through different side hustles. Very high SAT and chess rating but B grades because homework submission is not a priority. He is a good networker and has landed great internships because he goes very deep into things he is interested in and some interviewers recognize that. My daughter keeps telling me to not worry about him but I do.

My DS too, IQ 150+ but the laziest (and I say this with kindness) person I've ever met because he does the least amount of effort to get by. But in T10 despite frustrating the heck out of many teachers and private school administrators, but his STEM teachers love him for his "inherent" (ie, zero studying) talent. I had him tested and he is ADHD inattentive but not on spectrum, just DOES NOT CARE. Maddening. We will see how next year goes...he is an audiodact at heart.

I also got my son recently tested (as in two weeks back) and his diagnosis is also the same, ADHD inattentive but not on the spectrum. He is at one to the top Calfornia public schools and seems to have found his people which is good. I can totally relate with the laziness and not caring. I think that only goes away when they find things they care about.

Isn’t that most people? People really focus when they find things they care about. It’s finding your thing that can be difficult.

ADHD inattentive is different. Many of them still have it when they are fully adult. Often their personal finance is a mess. I do worry about my DC's future a lot, not just their college life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. Genetic reassortment is real.

2. Sometimes the parent is not the bio parent.

- geneticist.

This made me LOL. I have a DS who has a degree in Engineering from Cornell. Oldest of 4. About a year ago (about 25 years into our relationship), DH sincerely asked if he was actually the father of this child. I was at first (very) offended, but then amused. I am not a sciency person, but am considered "smart." Other DC are smart, but not Cornell Engineering smart. DH was not a stellar student K-BA, but is very successful now - went to Penn for dental school! He still has hangups from his youth and will never consider himself as "smart" even though he's amazing. Anyway, it's a marathon, not a sprint. BELIEVE in your non academic superstar DC. Not everyone peaks in HS and the best is yet to come for many of our 17-18 year olds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents used to say that they didn't know who I got my intelligence from, or that they were given someone else's baby. My dad was shocked when I told him I got it from him.

He earned his GED 1/2 way through senior year of high school so he could go work in the rail yard. He didn't enjoy school, yet he is the smartest person I know. His memory and recollection of things he read or heard about stick with him forever. He has a deep understanding of concepts most people spend years studying. However, that's not the man most people acknowledge. They still see the class clown who would rather tell jokes than write a paper.

Intelligence comes in many forms, and getting into a certain caliber of institution is just one way to measure.

Oh, we all know the smartest in our families, and it does not necessarily correlate with prestige of undergrad institution.

Geniuses are often a maladjusted, somewhat non-conformist and lazy lot: I am convinced you will find more in flagships than truly elite schools.

My son is like this. He is not going to study Spanish if he does not like it, so HS was a struggle but he maxed put rigor in things he liked. He is in college at a state school where he makes more than 70k through different side hustles. Very high SAT and chess rating but B grades because homework submission is not a priority. He is a good networker and has landed great internships because he goes very deep into things he is interested in and some interviewers recognize that. My daughter keeps telling me to not worry about him but I do.

My DS too, IQ 150+ but the laziest (and I say this with kindness) person I've ever met because he does the least amount of effort to get by. But in T10 despite frustrating the heck out of many teachers and private school administrators, but his STEM teachers love him for his "inherent" (ie, zero studying) talent. I had him tested and he is ADHD inattentive but not on spectrum, just DOES NOT CARE. Maddening. We will see how next year goes...he is an audiodact at heart.

I also got my son recently tested (as in two weeks back) and his diagnosis is also the same, ADHD inattentive but not on the spectrum. He is at one to the top Calfornia public schools and seems to have found his people which is good. I can totally relate with the laziness and not caring. I think that only goes away when they find things they care about.

Isn’t that most people? People really focus when they find things they care about. It’s finding your thing that can be difficult.

ADHD inattentive is different. Many of them still have it when they are fully adult. Often their personal finance is a mess. I do worry about my DC's future a lot, not just their college life.

I am the only person in my family who doesn't have ADHD. Most people who aren't familiar with it don't understand the reverberations of having it, so seeing some of the comments here compels me to encourage the parents on this thread to dig deeper. Usually a kid with a late diagnosis has at least one parent who would get a diagnosis too.

It is extremely difficult neurologically for an ADHD person to focus on subjects that aren't interesting. Foreign languages tend to be a particularly tough category for ADHD and dyslexics (common to have both together). It is not laziness.

People with ADHD usually do not think linearly and can be incredibly intelligent, creative and innovative in thinking. Entrepreneurs often have ADHD. The downside is that executive function tasks, such as breaking projects into smaller components, can be overwhelming. While most people procrastinate, ADHD people take it to an art form. They can excel at "hyper focusing" when needed, so a natural process would be to do nothing on a project until the night before it is due and then stay up all night. (Often they can pull it off owing to their gifts but obviously not an optimal approach.)

These exec function skills can be taught proactively, and the sooner the better. You can hire a coach or can inquire about supports available at college.

You can help your kids develop the life skills to be successful, but they likely will need a little help to get there. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son is brilliant. Way smarter than I am. I think he got his brains from my wife's AP.

Only one AP? At least 5/5 I hope?