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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My parents used to say that they didn't know who I got my intelligence from, or that they were given someone else's baby. My dad was shocked when I told him I got it from him.

He earned his GED 1/2 way through senior year of high school so he could go work in the rail yard. He didn't enjoy school, yet he is the smartest person I know. His memory and recollection of things he read or heard about stick with him forever. He has a deep understanding of concepts most people spend years studying. However, that's not the man most people acknowledge. They still see the class clown who would rather tell jokes than write a paper.

Intelligence comes in many forms, and getting into a certain caliber of institution is just one way to measure. [/quote]
Oh, we all know the smartest in our families, and it does not necessarily correlate with prestige of undergrad institution.

Geniuses are often a maladjusted, somewhat non-conformist and lazy lot: I am convinced you will find more in flagships than truly elite schools.

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My son is like this. He is not going to study Spanish if he does not like it, so HS was a struggle but he maxed put rigor in things he liked. He is in college at a state school where he makes more than 70k through different side hustles. Very high SAT and chess rating but B grades because homework submission is not a priority. He is a good networker and has landed great internships because he goes very deep into things he is interested in and some interviewers recognize that. My daughter keeps telling me to not worry about him but I do. [/quote]

My DS too, IQ 150+ but the laziest (and I say this with kindness) person I've ever met because he does the least amount of effort to get by. But in T10 despite frustrating the heck out of many teachers and private school administrators, but his STEM teachers love him for his "inherent" (ie, zero studying) talent. I had him tested and he is ADHD inattentive but not on spectrum, just DOES NOT CARE. Maddening. We will see how next year goes...he is an audiodact at heart. [/quote]

I also got my son recently tested (as in two weeks back) and his diagnosis is also the same, ADHD inattentive but not on the spectrum. He is at one to the top Calfornia public schools and seems to have found his people which is good. I can totally relate with the laziness and not caring. I think that only goes away when they find things they care about.[/quote]

Isn’t that most people?  People really focus when they find things they care about.   It’s finding your thing that can be difficult.  [/quote]

ADHD inattentive is different.  Many of them still have it when they are fully adult.  Often their personal finance is a mess.  I do worry about my DC's future a lot, not just their college life.[/quote]

I am the only person in my family who doesn't have ADHD. Most people who aren't familiar with it don't understand the reverberations of having it, so seeing some of the comments here compels me to encourage the parents on this thread to dig deeper. Usually a kid with a late diagnosis has at least one parent who would get a diagnosis too.

It is extremely difficult neurologically for an ADHD person to focus on subjects that aren't interesting. Foreign languages tend to be a particularly tough category for ADHD and dyslexics (common to have both together). It is not laziness.

People with ADHD usually do not think linearly and can be incredibly intelligent, creative and innovative in thinking. Entrepreneurs often have ADHD. The downside is that executive function tasks, such as breaking projects into smaller components, can be overwhelming. While most people procrastinate, ADHD people take it to an art form. They can excel at "hyper focusing" when needed, so a natural process would be to do nothing on a project until the night before it is due and then stay up all night. (Often they can pull it off owing to their gifts but obviously not an optimal approach.)

These exec function skills can be taught proactively, and the sooner the better. You can hire a coach or can inquire about supports available at college.

You can help your kids develop the life skills to be successful, but they likely will need a little help to get there. Good luck.

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