Coworker's Medical 'Procedure'

[Anonymous]

Don't contribute if you don't want to; it's fine. But this is not a good look for you.

[Anonymous]

Small office I probably would.

[Anonymous]

So you guys are going to give her $700????

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tough one..small office..hard to hide non participation.
You can say..oh I already sent something.
Then send a token card or cookies etc.

This. Just say you already have something for her.
I've NEVER experienced this at work. It's so unprofessional. Are you admin level? Do the C-suite folks get this solicitation too?

[Anonymous]

Do you have any specific reason to doubt she's having a legitimate procedure? Maybe it's something "embarrassing." I had a uterine fibroid removed and my endometriosis excised laparoscopically and was out for two weeks. I certainly wouldn't want my whole office knowing about that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the assumption should be that a random person is telling the truth.

Which is entirely separate from giving them material goods.

The least you can give someone is basic respect, OP. No meal train. Just the gift that you believe them and their particular needs.

Otherwise you're just an arse.

No liars in your world, right?

Bless your heart.

DP. Sure, it's always possible someone is lying, but there's nothing particularly suspicious here. The coworker has declined to share the procedure she had, and OP doesn't like her and her friend. That's not enough for me to suspect she is lying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have any specific reason to doubt she's having a legitimate procedure? Maybe it's something "embarrassing." I had a uterine fibroid removed and my endometriosis excised laparoscopically and was out for two weeks. I certainly wouldn't want my whole office knowing about that.

I had the same! I was also out for two weeks but my coworkers didn't give me any money. Stating the donation request is $50 is incredibly rude to me. It should be we're collecting for a gift IF you'd like to contribute. I'm on the side you don't have to contribute anything or can make a token contribution if you feel it would look better.

[Anonymous]

what are you gonna do when co-workers return with a great butt?

[Anonymous]

I'd buy some day old half priced baked goods from Safeway for $3 and put a ribbon on it. That is insane that they are asking for what it costs my family of four to go to Chipotle. Somebody is skimming off the top.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have any specific reason to doubt she's having a legitimate procedure? Maybe it's something "embarrassing." I had a uterine fibroid removed and my endometriosis excised laparoscopically and was out for two weeks. I certainly wouldn't want my whole office knowing about that.

I had the same! I was also out for two weeks but my coworkers didn't give me any money. Stating the donation request is $50 is incredibly rude to me. It should be we're collecting for a gift IF you'd like to contribute. I'm on the side you don't have to contribute anything or can make a token contribution if you feel it would look better.

In collegial office environments we have set up meal trains for people who were out on medical leave as a gesture of caring/community. It was also totally optional. Asking for $50 from each person do the coworker can get DoorDash or whatever seems very cold and transactional. I personally would not participate beyond signing a card.

[Anonymous]

Why would Nicole need $650 for food for the next two weeks? She's one person. The most expensive food delivery I get is from Costco and even that's less than $300. So $50 per person is an outrageous amount.

But look, if you don't want to contribute, just don't. No need to become an investigative journalist to find out what Nicole had done.

[Anonymous]

You’re under no obligation to donate, but people are also under no obligation to disclose their private medical details.

[Anonymous]

If she got 2 weeks off it is likely a real medical procedure. Maybe something she doesn’t want to talk about likely gynecological issues, miscarriage/abortion, early stage cancer treatment etc.
Asking 50$ per person is too much, I would have left people contribute what they could instead or asked for 20$. Contribution is not mandatory but in such a small office your absence from the donor list will be noticed

[Anonymous]

No I won't contribute.

[Anonymous]

The work bestie is rude here.

Not the patient herself, who as far as you know, did not lie and did not ask for any specific sum.

And why are we now supposed to assume that everything people say are lies????

OP, you look like a jerk here. Don't give money if you don't want to. But why are you assuming she's lying? That says more about you than it says about the other person.