Do your parents call your kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No and it drives me crazy. Mine just demand FaceTime. Both sides demand FaceTime. My kids have hated face time since they were toddlers. One kid was so bad he usually lost privileges after every face time and then it turned into big fights with parents. We just refuse to discipline our kids anymore to sit and withstand the hell of FaceTime. What is it with boomers and FaceTime? My kids love to talk on the regular phone but that’s not on“enough.” I wish our parents just called the kids.

My parents and grandparents both won’t call us. They think phone calls should always be initiated by the younger generation.

OP and same here. I was curious whether this was universal.

I don't call my kids because my mom called me all of time at inconvenient times. I wait for them to decide a good time so they are ready and excited to talk. But, I do tell them why I have chosen this method.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:FaceTime is big with younger girlfriends talking to each other but I understand wanting FaceTime when you’re far from your grandchildren.

Why would a child get so upset at FaceTime? A little bit odd

Agreed. But I also understand when my three year old grandson runs off to play after a minute. No need to drag it out. He loves to show me his art work, or toys, etc. on FT.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents don't call and after calling for 13 years I dropped the rope. There were also FaceTime demands, whereas they just sat there and stared. Super uncomfortable for everyone, me and the kids. They also wish happy birthday to my kids through me, a 3rd person, even though kids are teens. And then they wonder why there's no relationship? Sorry, it's not my job to develop your relationship with your grandkids.

I mean it is when they are younger, but once my kids got phones, I gave my mom their numbers. It's been 3 years and she's called them exactly zero times.

[Anonymous]

We text with our grandkids all the time. But we also live very near each other and see each other a lot on a very informal basis. “You guys wanna grab dinner?” That sort of thing.

[Anonymous]

No, but they don’t call me either. My mom is convinced I’m so busy she’ll never call at the right time so she just doesn’t call at all.

I try to call her when I’m in the pick up line at school. Then the kids say hi and chat for 2-3 minutes once a week or so.

[Anonymous]

What are the chances that many DCUM posters have kids and parents who actually like and text each other? Close to zero. Too many of you are too busy sabotaging the grandparent/grandchild relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No and it drives me crazy. Mine just demand FaceTime. Both sides demand FaceTime. My kids have hated face time since they were toddlers. One kid was so bad he usually lost privileges after every face time and then it turned into big fights with parents. We just refuse to discipline our kids anymore to sit and withstand the hell of FaceTime. What is it with boomers and FaceTime? My kids love to talk on the regular phone but that’s not on“enough.” I wish our parents just called the kids.

My parents and grandparents both won’t call us. They think phone calls should always be initiated by the younger generation.

OP and same here. I was curious whether this was universal.

I don't call my kids because my mom called me all of time at inconvenient times. I wait for them to decide a good time so they are ready and excited to talk. But, I do tell them why I have chosen this method.

Voicemail was invented for a reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No and it drives me crazy. Mine just demand FaceTime. Both sides demand FaceTime. My kids have hated face time since they were toddlers. One kid was so bad he usually lost privileges after every face time and then it turned into big fights with parents. We just refuse to discipline our kids anymore to sit and withstand the hell of FaceTime. What is it with boomers and FaceTime? My kids love to talk on the regular phone but that’s not on“enough.” I wish our parents just called the kids.

My parents and grandparents both won’t call us. They think phone calls should always be initiated by the younger generation.

OP and same here. I was curious whether this was universal.

Both my parents and my ILs are the same. It annoys us but we gave up and now just schedule calls with them (like we both have calendar reminders to call them weekly). When we call, they will ask to FaceTime with the kids. Sometimes they are available and sometimes they aren't. Usually even if they are available, they will get through maybe 3 minutes of FaceTime and they it's clear they are done and we'll wrap up the call.

Part of the problem is that our parents don't make an effort to engage our kids, ask about or talk about things that might be interesting to them, etc. My dad will drone on about landscaping. My MIL will want to talk about her friends and people in her town my kids don't know. They almost never ask the kids anything about themselves. Sometimes DH or I will volunteer info if we know our kids won't mind. Like that we saw a movie recently the kids liked, or they've taken up some hobby or something. But the grandparents rarely take the bait and pursue these as lines as discussion -- they'll just nod vaguely and turn the conversation back to themselves.

So they are all very one sided relationships. I think it is too bad. Not just for my kids but for our parents, who I think will regret not doing more to cultivate good relationships with their kids or grandkids as they get older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents don't call and after calling for 13 years I dropped the rope. There were also FaceTime demands, whereas they just sat there and stared. Super uncomfortable for everyone, me and the kids. They also wish happy birthday to my kids through me, a 3rd person, even though kids are teens. And then they wonder why there's no relationship? Sorry, it's not my job to develop your relationship with your grandkids.

I mean it is when they are younger, but once my kids got phones, I gave my mom their numbers. It's been 3 years and she's called them exactly zero times.

I'm the PP which is why I said I called for 13 years Same.

[Anonymous]

I would say no. My parents don't call my kids. My M-in-law does call them, frequently.

My folks live 6 hours away and my DD will text my Mom on occasion. DS sometimes. My Dad does not text.

Mt M-in-Law is in town here so she is calling them more frequently for stuff - like can you stop by and help with this or that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No and it drives me crazy. Mine just demand FaceTime. Both sides demand FaceTime. My kids have hated face time since they were toddlers. One kid was so bad he usually lost privileges after every face time and then it turned into big fights with parents. We just refuse to discipline our kids anymore to sit and withstand the hell of FaceTime. What is it with boomers and FaceTime? My kids love to talk on the regular phone but that’s not on“enough.” I wish our parents just called the kids.

My parents and grandparents both won’t call us. They think phone calls should always be initiated by the younger generation.

OP and same here. I was curious whether this was universal.

I don't call my kids because my mom called me all of time at inconvenient times. I wait for them to decide a good time so they are ready and excited to talk. But, I do tell them why I have chosen this method.

Voicemail was invented for a reason.

What does that accomplish? They still have to call me back when it's convenient for them. Are you that insecure about your mom's love? She has to be the one to call?

[Anonymous]

My mother calls (my father has Alz), she is very smart and sharp as a tack, but terrible with tech. She won’t give up her aging android but she’s managed to learn to use WhatsApp so she can video call.

My husband lost his mom when he was little. FIL does not call and wonders why his grandchildren aren’t very interested in him. We did an experiment once to see how long it would take him to call if we didn’t. H cracked at six months.

[Anonymous]

Mine regularly text with each other, and occasionally call. I think it's great.

[Anonymous]

Yeah but only to be nosey

[Anonymous]

My mom texts and calls my teenager and then asks her to hand the phone to her tween sibling.