Do your parents call your kids?

[Anonymous]

No, although they stalk them on Instagram.

[Anonymous]

It’s interesting, now that my kids are teens, I’d say both my parents and teens are seriously addicted to their phones. BUT my parents do not call my kids and complain they never hear from them. If they text them, the kids respond, my daughter always does, my son not as consistently. My dad is more likely to send big group texts to all the grandkids and it will be a funny meme or something.

I tried to get them to play a game with each other on their phones but it didn’t work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, although they stalk them on Instagram.

Just stop. They’re their grandchildren. They’re not stalking them, weirdo.

[Anonymous]

Android so no facetime. The end.

[Anonymous]

Nope, my mom will text me to ask to a video chat periodically but it's rare for my mom to do more than text.

My Dad has trouble hearing so you always text him first as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No and it drives me crazy. Mine just demand FaceTime. Both sides demand FaceTime. My kids have hated face time since they were toddlers. One kid was so bad he usually lost privileges after every face time and then it turned into big fights with parents. We just refuse to discipline our kids anymore to sit and withstand the hell of FaceTime. What is it with boomers and FaceTime? My kids love to talk on the regular phone but that’s not “enough.” I wish our parents just called the kids.

My parents and grandparents both won’t call us. They think phone calls should always be initiated by the younger generation.

Same and I disagree so we just don't talk much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, although they stalk them on Instagram.

Same. Always watching every story but rarely even comment and real life interaction barely exists. So bizarre.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No and it drives me crazy. Mine just demand FaceTime. Both sides demand FaceTime. My kids have hated face time since they were toddlers. One kid was so bad he usually lost privileges after every face time and then it turned into big fights with parents. We just refuse to discipline our kids anymore to sit and withstand the hell of FaceTime. What is it with boomers and FaceTime? My kids love to talk on the regular phone but that’s not on“enough.” I wish our parents just called the kids.

My parents and grandparents both won’t call us. They think phone calls should always be initiated by the younger generation.

OP and same here. I was curious whether this was universal.

Both my parents and my ILs are the same. It annoys us but we gave up and now just schedule calls with them (like we both have calendar reminders to call them weekly). When we call, they will ask to FaceTime with the kids. Sometimes they are available and sometimes they aren't. Usually even if they are available, they will get through maybe 3 minutes of FaceTime and they it's clear they are done and we'll wrap up the call.

Part of the problem is that our parents don't make an effort to engage our kids, ask about or talk about things that might be interesting to them, etc. My dad will drone on about landscaping. My MIL will want to talk about her friends and people in her town my kids don't know. They almost never ask the kids anything about themselves. Sometimes DH or I will volunteer info if we know our kids won't mind. Like that we saw a movie recently the kids liked, or they've taken up some hobby or something. But the grandparents rarely take the bait and pursue these as lines as discussion -- they'll just nod vaguely and turn the conversation back to themselves.

So they are all very one sided relationships. I think it is too bad. Not just for my kids but for our parents, who I think will regret not doing more to cultivate good relationships with their kids or grandkids as they get older.

This is 100% my parents. My ILs are much better, so the difference is stark. My parents totally missed the window on establishing a strong relationship with my child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FaceTime is big with younger girlfriends talking to each other but I understand wanting FaceTime when you’re far from your grandchildren.

Why would a child get so upset at FaceTime? A little bit odd

FaceTime is boring for kids. You're expected to stare at the screen and fake happiness and interest. Kids can only do it for so long. In addition grandparents who live far often don't have a close relationship with kids, meaning there's nothing to talk about, so that both parties just end up staring at one another and then grandparents complain that nobody is talking to them.

+1. Also admit it: who doesn't miss the days of conference calls
before zoom/video calls? Sometimes you just don't want to be on camera.