Do you ever go through periods where your beloved annoys you for no good reason?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes it happens and they get annoyed with you too!

People get annoyed with other people because people are annoying

Yeah, well, she probably has not considered that she may be annoying too. And if he continues to annoy her, she should leave.

[Anonymous]

How old are you, OP? It sounds like you might be in perimenopause.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I am definitely menopausal. 50+. Hormone issues are worth considering. The reason this is really freaking me out is that it does feel like it's my mood that has changed, not him. It's kind of alarming. But now that someone mentions it, yes, this does feel like that PMS feeling of EVERYTHING IS INCREDIBLY AGGRAVATING. Not just him.

Okay, this is actually calming me down. I am feeling more like this is maybe something that will pass, and I just need to deal with my stress and maybe talk to doc about the hormonal piece.

[Anonymous]

Remember OP ->> relationships are NEVER ever perfect (like you fantasized about!) & if you think they can be, sadly you will be in for a rude awakening.

Not trying to be snarky but could this be due to PMS??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been with my BF for more than two years and have mostly been sooo happy with him. He's sweet, loving, supportive, sex has been great, etc. Sure, there were minor things I did not love, but they seemed minor. I truly have spent most of the last couple years feeling joyful and grateful to have met him. But then suddenly-- literally it felt like out of the blue-- everything he does annoys me! His hair is annoying. His voice is annoying. What he says is annoying. When he practices the piano it's annoying. His musical taste is annoying. The way he combs his hair is annoying. The way he compliments me is annoying. Etc. I am trying so hard to hide my reactions from him, because I recognize that the poor man is doing the exact same things he has always done, so it would be wildly unfair for me to suddenly start snapping at him.

I am honestly distressed and baffled by my own emotions. Two theories:

1) He actually IS annoying and not the right man for me, but I was so grateful to find ANYONE after a painful divorce that I suppressed/ignored all the ways he was not actually right for me-- and now that I am in a better place and feeling more secure generally, all the things I suppressed or ignored are rising to the surface again and I need to pay attention to these feelings of annoyance.

2) Something is going on with me! He is still a wonderful man and a great partner for me, but I am under stress (this is actually true, finding him annoying coincided with the start of a super stressful work project), it has affected my mood and perceptions, and I am unreasonably taking it all out on him (at least, in terms of my internal state).

If theory one is right, maybe I need to back off a little from this relationship and recognize it may not be the perfect relationship I fantasized about.

If theory two is right I need to work on getting less stressed and focus on feeling gratitude and love.

I am really hoping it is the latter!

Has anyone gone through phases like this, where the person you love is suddenly getting on your last nerve all the time for some extended period of time (a few weeks/months)? Has it passed? Is this just... normal and ride it out? Or a warning sign about compataibility?

Did you come off of Birth Control?

[Anonymous]

Never mind I see you are menopausal. Go get hormones.

[Anonymous]

Don't panic, OP. I think this is completely normal. I mean, if this feeling of irritation continues for a year? Then the relationship probably is not right for you. But a month, after two great years? Stress, hormones. Focus on dealing with those and see how you're doing in a couple months. With luck everything will feel back to normal. And meanwhile, just tell you BF you're been stressed and are struggling and apologize for being snappy.

[Anonymous]

Hard to say for sure, you’re not married so leaving is easier but if he’s a great guy and this came out of nowhere then you might need want to give it time. Two years seems like such a short period of time to get this annoyed with someone you love.

[Anonymous]

Not for an extended period of time, no. But randomly I will be annoyed by my husband sometimes, for like an hour. We've been married 15 years and together even longer, two kids.

If after two years everything about him is annoying, I'm going with option 1. He was Mr. Right Now and now you're in a different spot and that's ok.

[Anonymous]

Sounds hormonal to me, too. Not super uncommon in perimenopause.