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I have a similar kid, OP, so I am incredibly proud for what your son has accomplished.
And I am relieved that the mental health stuff will mean nothing to a judge. Maturity means knowing what you can’t handle - and your son can’t drive safely so he can’t drive. It will cause logistics and financial problems, yes, as does for people with vision problems and people with epilepsy and others who can’t drive. But HE CANNOT DRIVE. Surrender his license to the DMV on Monday. |
This. The bottom line is he has a medical condition that makes him unable to drive. Period. So do a lot of people, and it's hard, but that's what this is. He should walk into court having ALREADY given up his license, to show he's sorry. Not just promises to be more careful. Try to think up some way for him to take risks and feel the sensation of going fast in a safer way. He can take up whitewater kayaking or indoor skydiving or something. This may be fatal to your son, OP! |
+100000000 |
| I don't care what his problems are. If he can't drive he shouldn't. His struggles would matter not at all to me if he killed someone in my family. Why should they take it easier on him that anyone else? |
| Do not do this without an established lawyer who specializes in this type of thing. It will be shockingly expensive $5,000 - $10,000, but it will be totally worth it. They will advise you on any pre trial actions to take and will handle plea discussions and the hearing/trial. |
| Echoing that he 100% needs a lawyer. |
| He needs a specialized lawyer. He should not drive again. |
This. He needs a lawyer that specializes in this. Prepare to pay $10,000 - $15,000 in retainer. The good lawyers will cut a deal. I'd get a DUI lawyer or someone who specializes in driving infractions. |
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Get a lawyer. If you want to, you can research who the police in the relevant jurisdiction use to defend them.
Do what the lawyer says re classes, treatments, license surrender. If a person wants to drive fast they can do that on a racetrack. There are racing programs for regular people. |
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Hmmm....not a lawyer.
Maybe consider getting him a self-driving Tesla?? |
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You need a lawyer OP. And your son needs to either take ubers or public transportation and plan to live near his school / place of employment.
I know several disabled people and it's what they have to do; your son essentially has a different type of disability. |
| You all are a bit much. He can drive again. He made a mistake. |
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The hateful screeds are not helpful - OP has lived with this person for years and knows all of that already.
Get a lawyer, OP. Since it's a first offense, it will likely mean no jail time. Has he watched driving safety videos where police officers who the remains of fatal crashes? He should. Get the most violent ones possible off the internet. You have a small window where you can scare him straight. You could also get him a manual car next time he drives- they're harder to find now, but the sound of the motor really alerts you to how fast you are going. Drivers are forced to acknowledge that when they physically change the gear themselves. It's a lot more tactile and connected to the road than automatics. Do not ever let him drive an electric or hybrid - the sound won't let him know how fast he's going. All his senses must come to his aid here, OP. |
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OP, your child should be taking Ubers, public transportation, or riding a bike for the rest of his life. He should NEVER drive again. I am sick of people using mental health excuses for dangerous, life threatening behavior. A car can be a weapon and can kill himself and others. Would you let him have a gun? Then why a car?
I am from Richmond and and OP's situation reminds me immediately of a there a famous case down there from about 10 years ago. A 32 year old man decided he wanted to see what it was like to drive his car as if he was flying an airplane, was going over 100 mph on Grove (where it is 25 mph) in a residential neighborhood and next to an elementary school, He was manic depressive, claimed he was manic at the time, and couldn't help it. He hit a woman's car from behind, sent her car flying and into a tree, killing her. His own car went airborne too, over the sidewalk and into someone's house. Man comes from a wealthy family, who knew he was mentally ill. But he had a car and drivers license anyway. He was charged with involuntary manslaughter, and got a plea deal where he was found not guilty by reason on insanity, and was committed. This was preventable. OP's son killing someone this way is also preventable. |
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Reading OP’s letter, he HAS STOPPED driving.
The question is if he can avoid jail time, and if not, how it impacts future education and employment. |