Post Infidelity Anger

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You hold an ace in your pocket. You now have the upper hand in the marriage. You have zero fkks to give. Own it and enjoy it !!

I didn’t realize I was still in a marriage, she ended it when I became the forsaken one. I did lose the comfort of happy memories and I lost the family that I sacrificed all of my other dreams to create with her. If I wanted to shame my wife into making me happy, wouldn’t that just create more resentments and comparisons? I get the fantasy, but I would rather play with someone I love, than live it with some incapable of love.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cheat on him and then leave. Forget what people say about getting even not fixing anything. You're going to feel a lot better when you hit this ball back over the net into his side of the court and then end the game.

I always wonder about the logic of these dumb revenge cheat boosters.

What kind of person do you think is willing to sleep with a depressed married man?
Why would you drag a third party into all of your baggage?
Why would you prolong the inevitable when you have already wasted years of your life in this marriage?
And what are you going to tell a future partner when you explain how your marriage ended?
Do you think a high quality person will want to be with a vengeful cheater after OP is ready to be in a relationship again?

Get out of the marriage with your integrity and your head held high.

Something in my post triggered a deep fear in you. You'd do better trying to figure out what is going on with you than lashing out at me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You hold an ace in your pocket. You now have the upper hand in the marriage. You have zero fkks to give. Own it and enjoy it !!

I didn’t realize I was still in a marriage, she ended it when I became the forsaken one. I did lose the comfort of happy memories and I lost the family that I sacrificed all of my other dreams to create with her. If I wanted to shame my wife into making me happy, wouldn’t that just create more resentments and comparisons? I get the fantasy, but I would rather play with someone I love, than live it with some incapable of love.

Rule #1 Never forgive a cheating wife and never take her back. Dump her as fast as you can.

You don't have to act like women with all the second chances BS....If they don't have any self esteem for staying with a cheater you don't have to follow in their footsteps. Plenty of women who are faithful that you can choose from. The number of women who want a relationship far outnumber the number of men seeking one. So why stay with a woman who cheats? Dump her NOW

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You hold an ace in your pocket. You now have the upper hand in the marriage. You have zero fkks to give. Own it and enjoy it !!

I didn’t realize I was still in a marriage, she ended it when I became the forsaken one. I did lose the comfort of happy memories and I lost the family that I sacrificed all of my other dreams to create with her. If I wanted to shame my wife into making me happy, wouldn’t that just create more resentments and comparisons? I get the fantasy, but I would rather play with someone I love, than live it with some incapable of love.

Sorry for that! The b@@tch did you wrong.

Time. It takes a very long time. I was always told 2-5 years. For me, it was more like 6-7 years.

Cheaters really do an absolute number on the betrayed.

[Anonymous]

I appreciate all of your advice, the question is not about reconciliation. It’s like she drew with permanent marker on my dream TV and I want a new TV, but she drew on all of them, not just the old one.

[Anonymous]

Because YOU didn't do the right thing Op, and divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You hold an ace in your pocket. You now have the upper hand in the marriage. You have zero fkks to give. Own it and enjoy it !!

I didn’t realize I was still in a marriage, she ended it when I became the forsaken one. I did lose the comfort of happy memories and I lost the family that I sacrificed all of my other dreams to create with her. If I wanted to shame my wife into making me happy, wouldn’t that just create more resentments and comparisons? I get the fantasy, but I would rather play with someone I love, than live it with some incapable of love.

Why did you lose a family?

You still have a family it just doesn’t include a wife.

Are you still married?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because YOU didn't do the right thing Op, and divorce.

Precisely this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I appreciate all of your advice, the question is not about reconciliation. It’s like she drew with permanent marker on my dream TV and I want a new TV, but she drew on all of them, not just the old one.

Saying this kindly as someone who has left the cheater is living a very happy life. You are making so many false assumptions and projections here.

[Anonymous]

Cortisol, the stress hormone, impacts weight loss by promoting abdominal fat storage and increasing cravings for high-calorie foods when chronically elevated due to stress, poor sleep, or dieting. While it provides quick energy, high cortisol levels slow metabolism and trigger insulin release, leading to fat storage and difficulty losing weight, especially around the belly. Managing stress, getting quality sleep, mindful eating, balanced exercise, and limiting caffeine/alcohol are key to lowering cortisol and supporting sustainable weight loss.

[Anonymous]

^^^ whoops wrong thread

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You hold an ace in your pocket. You now have the upper hand in the marriage. You have zero fkks to give. Own it and enjoy it !!

I didn’t realize I was still in a marriage, she ended it when I became the forsaken one. I did lose the comfort of happy memories and I lost the family that I sacrificed all of my other dreams to create with her. If I wanted to shame my wife into making me happy, wouldn’t that just create more resentments and comparisons? I get the fantasy, but I would rather play with someone I love, than live it with some incapable of love.

TBH you sound very self-pitying and lacking in introspection. Did she really cheat out of the blue, or are there things that you contributed to the breakdown of the marriage that you need to face so you stop living in this pure victim space?

[Anonymous]

You've tried the work, put in the effort, and still aren't feeling it. You've tried. It's ok to leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I appreciate all of your advice, the question is not about reconciliation. It’s like she drew with permanent marker on my dream TV and I want a new TV, but she drew on all of them, not just the old one.

But you know this isn't true, you're just blinded (fogged?) by the betrayal right now.

To use your TV example - new TVs come out all the time. New tech, bigger sizes, better resolution. And TVs are one of the few things that have gotten better AND cheaper as time goes on. They might all look scribbled on now, but once you start watching a nice brand new TV, you might feel different. Don't let the scribbles on your old TV ruin all the future tech!

[Anonymous]

The stress hormone post seemed to fit right in!