Why do people who prioritize their spouses over their parents get so much heat?

[Anonymous]

AI or troll?

I'm going with AI.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know it’s not normal to prioritize a spouse over a parent, but we still need to respect the personal preferences of those who do, just like we need to respect the personal preferences of LGBT people.

Needs first
Wants second

Needs of functional adults (eg can just be on with it) go after needs of children and non-functional adults, as functional adults can attend to their own needs.

No wants get priority until everyone’s needs are met. Wants - everyone takes turns.

Sometimes, people think their wants are needs.

How is prioritizing your spouse over your parents prioritizing wants over needs?

If it is between a need of a parent and a want of a spouse, and you do the want of your spouse and not the need of your parents - then you are prioritizing wants over needs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:AI or troll?

I'm going with AI.

AI doesn’t give a crap about this forum.

And those who say “I call troll” are the biggest losers on earth.

[Anonymous]

People who are married just for the sake of being married can’t fathom that anyone would love their spouse more than their parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People who are married just for the sake of being married can’t fathom that anyone would love their spouse more than their parents.

That's likely it. Maybe even arranged marriage culture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Blood is thicker than water. Also, this is cultural - in some cultures, you always take care of your parents for your entire adult life.

I hope no one who was adopted reads that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know it’s not normal to prioritize a spouse over a parent, but we still need to respect the personal preferences of those who do, just like we need to respect the personal preferences of LGBT people.

Needs first
Wants second

Needs of functional adults (eg can just be on with it) go after needs of children and non-functional adults, as functional adults can attend to their own needs.

No wants get priority until everyone’s needs are met. Wants - everyone takes turns.

Sometimes, people think their wants are needs.

Who’s deciding what’s a need versus want? Whose money are you spending? And at what cost to other family members?

[Anonymous]

If you prioritize your parents over your spouse in the sense that you spend money on them that you don’t necessarily have or give all your time to them, then what happens when your spouse leaves you and takes half of your assets? You’re going to have to parent your kids and take care of your parents on whatever time of money is left.

[Anonymous]

I can’t imagine prioritizing anyone, even my parents, over my wife.

[Anonymous]

Here is a novel idea: prioritize yourself. Attend to your minor children's needs. Everyone else can fight for themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know it’s not normal to prioritize a spouse over a parent, but we still need to respect the personal preferences of those who do, just like we need to respect the personal preferences of LGBT people.

🤣

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know it’s not normal to prioritize a spouse over a parent, but we still need to respect the personal preferences of those who do, just like we need to respect the personal preferences of LGBT people.

🤣

Explain?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Blood is thicker than water. Also, this is cultural - in some cultures, you always take care of your parents for your entire adult life.

And at the direct detriment of your spouse and children. Money, effort, time, absence, stress, quality of life, living arrangements, etc.

Agree, some cultures have big strings attached, especially to their sons.

You see (your children’s) grandparents as a complete drain, which may be true. For others, grandparents offer wisdom, infinite patience and unconditional love, a sense of belonging, nutritious and delicious cooking, culture, opportunities for adventure, babysitting, inheritance, an opportunity for kids to learn to find the beauty in people and practice giving and taking, and the list goes on.

Everything comes at a cost. Do you see your pet as a total drain? A good grandparent is priceless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Blood is thicker than water. Also, this is cultural - in some cultures, you always take care of your parents for your entire adult life.

And at the direct detriment of your spouse and children. Money, effort, time, absence, stress, quality of life, living arrangements, etc.

Agree, some cultures have big strings attached, especially to their sons.

You see (your children’s) grandparents as a complete drain, which may be true. For others, grandparents offer wisdom, infinite patience and unconditional love, a sense of belonging, nutritious and delicious cooking, culture, opportunities for adventure, babysitting, inheritance, an opportunity for kids to learn to find the beauty in people and practice giving and taking, and the list goes on.

Everything comes at a cost. Do you see your pet as a total drain? A good grandparent is priceless.

DP. You're right, of course, but those "good grandparents" are hard to come by these days. My kids sure don't have any: grandpas have passed away and grandmas are waiting to be catered to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Blood is thicker than water. Also, this is cultural - in some cultures, you always take care of your parents for your entire adult life.

And at the direct detriment of your spouse and children. Money, effort, time, absence, stress, quality of life, living arrangements, etc.

Agree, some cultures have big strings attached, especially to their sons.

You see (your children’s) grandparents as a complete drain, which may be true. For others, grandparents offer wisdom, infinite patience and unconditional love, a sense of belonging, nutritious and delicious cooking, culture, opportunities for adventure, babysitting, inheritance, an opportunity for kids to learn to find the beauty in people and practice giving and taking, and the list goes on.

Everything comes at a cost. Do you see your pet as a total drain? A good grandparent is priceless.

It actually defies nature for a child to be born before all four of their grandparents are dead.