Things not to say to a new mother…

[Anonymous]

You can ask in return: “did you want *your* kids?”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can ask in return: “did you want *your* kids?”

+1

“Were you disappointed when you found out your child was your child”?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh man I'm pregnant and getting that now. My coming second is a also boy and "oh are you disappointed it's not a girl".

My boys are not disappointments.

Relax, some people think everyone wants one of each

My mom did. She very much thought of kids as replacements of herself and my dad, so she wanted two and one of each gender.

[Anonymous]

Grow a thicker skin and stop whining.

These comments are not rude unless you purposefully go out of your way to interpret them in that way.

- parent of boys and girls, now grown up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh man I'm pregnant and getting that now. My coming second is a also boy and "oh are you disappointed it's not a girl".

My boys are not disappointments.

Relax, some people think everyone wants one of each

Yes after I had one each, I got several 'Now you can stop' comments. Like my decision on how many children to have would be based on gender

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Buckle up, this is just the beginning of people's inane comments to/about your child.

Give us your examples

Oh she’s big for her age
He’s too old to xyz
Aren’t you worried about xyz if he keeps doing that
Have you thought about early intervention / an evaluation
She has her fathers nose
Don’t worry, my kid also (insert rude and inaccurate projection)

Also "isn't your baby cold, where's his hat" when it's like 80F outside.

And the comments on number of kids and age gaps!

You have to have another so your first isn’t weird!
How can you give each kid enough attention with so many of them?
You must have your hands full with them so close in age!
Hurry up and have the next before the age gap gets too big!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Grow a thicker skin and stop whining.

These comments are not rude unless you purposefully go out of your way to interpret them in that way.

- parent of boys and girls, now grown up.

Those comments aren’t rude. They are stupid.

- someone who understands the difference between rude and stupid

[Anonymous]

To an Adoptive mom with a new baby “didn’t you want a child of your own ?” Really irritated me .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To an Adoptive mom with a new baby “didn’t you want a child of your own ?” Really irritated me .

Love to you.

That person “meaning well” means nothing. You express rudeness you are rude.

[Anonymous]

"Where do they get the [insert] hair/[insert] eyes/[insert other physical feature]?"

[Anonymous]

"Is it hard being.... older/younger?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh man I'm pregnant and getting that now. My coming second is a also boy and "oh are you disappointed it's not a girl".

My boys are not disappointments.

Relax, some people think everyone wants one of each

Yes after I had one each, I got several 'Now you can stop' comments. Like my decision on how many children to have would be based on gender

My friend with two girls got "doesn't your husband want a boy" comments.

What made that one particularly cruel is my friend had a stillborn boy.

[Anonymous]

I get a LOT of comments about having an only from people who seem to be unaware that sometimes people wanted more kids but couldn't have them.

I also got a lot of comments before I had kids about "don't you two want kids?" Or "time to get a move on!"

Then, while pregnant "oof, at your age?" Or "do you worry about genetic abnormalities?"

People are dumb. That's it. They don't think very hard and a lot of people just say whatever stupid thought pops into their head. They don't mean anything bad generally, but they also don't mean anything good.

[Anonymous]

If your friend has a small or early baby, any comments obsessing about how tiny the baby is, and are they getting on the growth chart, are you feeding them, have you tried fortifying their formula/adding some formula to pumped milk/feeding rice cereal, they’re so small how do you know if nursing is working, aren’t you nervous. Believe me we are aware. - had a 5.5 pounder and a 6 pounder.

[Anonymous]

All of you need to get over your super sensitivity.