Women in 40s who are dating - what are you doing on your dates?

[Anonymous]

I don't have much money so always looking for someone who could pay for the dates and usually ok with whatever they suggest.

[Anonymous]

One took me to a cooking class. He got a second date and a third. And then we did it. That was fun for a few months.

[Anonymous]

What have you planned and where have you taken him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't have much money so always looking for someone who could pay for the dates and usually ok with whatever they suggest.

so, you want to use someone for meals and sex? Yikes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a man. Here are some things I've done with women in their forties (also thirties and fifties):

Coffee
Drink
Lunch
Dinner (super cheap to super expensive)
Walk
Art gallery or museum
Dancing
Concert (bad for first date)
Theater (bad for first date)
Hike (bad for first date)
Baseball or basketball game (bad for first date)
Cooking (bad for first date)
Kayak (bad for first date)
Rally (bad for first date)

That's a lot of bad date activities. What made them bad?

They were bad for first dates because they aren't good for conversation. They're good for dates after you know each other.

Yes, a political rally. Some women like rallies. I was fine with it.

[Anonymous]

Hikes are great for talking… like walking and talking are pretty basic skills.

[Anonymous]

Concerts, comedy shows, jazz clubs, various joint lessons, museum exhibits, swimming pools, joint yoga workout; rooftop drinks with fireworks, weekend trip to the shore, chess club, boating , riding his motorcycle
I cook well and don’t like dinners unless it’s a Micheline a few times a year

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dating in your 40s, especially when you have no common starting point other than OLD is hard. When we were in college you could talk about classes you had together or people you knew in common. Now the starting ground was did you find parking ok, the weather, and maybe your kids.

I like to do something rather than stare at the person I don't know across a table. I really don't care what it is but there has to be something to talk about. I created a list because it seems many people aren't interested in putting forth anymore effort than coffee or a drink. These are all activities that I would do with an existing friend or things I want to do anyway. If someone can't find something to do with me from my list than chances are we won't be a good match because we don't seem to have common interests.

Some things on my list:
Sporting events (baseball/basketball/hockey)--I'm happy to buy the tickets.
Ice Skating
Kayaking
Hiking
Various DC Pop Up events (Museum of Illusions, Candlelight Concerts, DC Travel Show)
Tasting Menus (we each pay our share)
Arcades/Ax throwing/bowling

Yes, all of my "dates" take longer than a 30 min/hour coffee date but they are things I like to do anyway and I would do them with or without a date. It's true some people don't want to invest that much time in a first date. That's okay with me. But when I sit across the table from someone I have no common ground with, it feels like a job interview.

I love hiking, but no way I’d go with a man I hadn’t met in person before. I’d wait a few dates in at least.

I’m married now, but my husband and I still enjoy playing pool and recently went axe throwing. Both of those were “dates” I enjoyed. I also saw a couple on a date to a life event of the Moth (storytelling). While it would be hard to chat during it, there are breaks and one would be able to discuss whether they liked the story. I thought that seemed like a fun date idea.

[Anonymous]

It’s true there’s a lot of duds who can’t plan dates. I used to suggest coffee dates, which were fine. But then I met my now-BF, who planned a very thoughtful date that included a private tour of a very cool place. The amount of thought and preparation he put into it is a big reason why I picked him over everyone else.

Now, dates are mostly things we’d want to do anyways and the other comes along. I wanted to take a painting class this past weekend, he came with me. This upcoming weekend, he wants to do a weekend out of town, and I’m coming along with that.

I’ve found it’s way easier to go on fun dates when you’re both already fun people who do activities beyond drinking/dinner. Then you can just live your life and the other person integrates into it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't have much money so always looking for someone who could pay for the dates and usually ok with whatever they suggest.

why do you have pay for dates? Men would do that and you just enjoy.

[Anonymous]

First date is always meeting for drinks at a very upscale bar.
Other dates - museum, garden, symphony, theater, playground and walk, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a man. Here are some things I've done with women in their forties (also thirties and fifties):

Coffee
Drink
Lunch
Dinner (super cheap to super expensive)
Walk
Art gallery or museum
Dancing
Concert (bad for first date)
Theater (bad for first date)
Hike (bad for first date)
Baseball or basketball game (bad for first date)
Cooking (bad for first date)
Kayak (bad for first date)
Rally (bad for first date)

I had a terrible first date at a baseball game, too! Never again!!! They last too long!

[Anonymous]

OP, do you mean first dates, or dates once you are in a relationship?

Brunch/lunch/dinner/happy hour
Bowling
Art museums
Theater and concerts
Parties
Sporting events
Day trips via car and train

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First date is always meeting for drinks at a very upscale bar.
Other dates - museum, garden, symphony, theater, playground and walk, etc.

Nope. First date is a quick coffee. I want to know if you’re a loon before I invest in you.

- man

[Anonymous]

I've noticed some women live first dates at bars and others hate first dates at bars. I've also noticed that some women (many?) seem insane after they drink.