Indulge my fantasy - top private vs. Walls

[Anonymous]

The difference is in how the parents are treated, mostly. If you pay that much you get connection with the principal and all the teachers, you get your questions answered and your nerves soothed.

In public, your kid is treated like the adult they are about to become.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I posted this on the private school board but got a good suggestion to also post here to get all perspectives so here we go:

Play along with my total fantasy scenario here: let's imagine my 8th grade DD gets into Sidwell or GDS and also Walls. I think she'd be happy at any of them. She's tough as nails, entirely self-motivated, deeply curious, very smart. Has been happy and successful in DCPS. I, however, am exhausted by DCPS - the nonstop advocacy, feeling like parents have to hold it all up bc it's so chaotic and funding always in jeopardy, issues with staffing and facilities, always wondering if we will lose a teacher or a section, not get a sub, get subjected to a crappy online curriculum. Walls may be protected from some of that, but it's still DCPS. We *can* afford private but we make too much to qualify for aid ($400k) so it will be a stretch. We will have to cut other things like vacations. We won't be doing all the tutoring and extra fancy stuff other kids do like get college essay consultants and marketing people to help develop a podcast or whatever latest thing is the "hook" to get "unhooked" kids into college. Sigh. So, in this totally fantasy scenario...what would you do? She will be ok anywhere because she's that kind of kid. She will be more challenged - I think - at a Sidwell or a GDS and I would be relieved to step back. But I would be trading that relief for financial stress. And the crazy social and status stuff that comes with private school. Thanks for indulging me in this fantasy world.

This has been discussed at length previously.

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1095916.page

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For a high-performing, self-motivated kid, I would never make the types of financial sacrifices you're talking about to send them to private if they would be happy in public. Absolute no-brainer to me.

+1.

[Anonymous]

All things being equal (grades, SAT scores, extracurriculars), college admissions are better out of public for unyoked kids in DC. But if you are making $400k HHI I’m guessing you are also alumni of some institutions who donate to your prior schools, so your kid isn’t wholly unyoked

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The difference is in how the parents are treated, mostly. If you pay that much you get connection with the principal and all the teachers, you get your questions answered and your nerves soothed.

In public, your kid is treated like the adult they are about to become.

I think this is an insightful point and potentially disproportionately relevant to OP’s decision, given the way they describe their experience in DCPS to date. Like another PP, I’ve not found DCPS exhausting or like I’ve had to be super-involved. But if that’s what OP thinks has been necessary for their child’s success (or, I guess more likely given how OP describes their kid, for OP’s satisfaction), then the attention and parent handholding private provides might be worth it for OP. And it might save the staff at Walls some heartache.

[Anonymous]

Privates are much more worth the money for a struggling or borderline kid - it’s how rich people basically buy their kid a spot in college. Around here the truly smart and/or motivated kids go to the elite public schools (TJ, magnets, Banneker, and Walls). I would 100% prefer a kid like OP describes go to Banneker and learn some good values and how to get along with people than a private. Then save to $200k for a house.

On the other hand if OP’s goal is getting her kid a job in consulting, carry on.

[Anonymous]

This was my kid. They got into the top privates with a similar household income, without enough financial aid for us to feel comfortable making that $ commitment. While I know the education at the privates would have been great, several years in and looking at ever increasing college price tags, we are so so happy to not be "private school poor" especially with the job market in DC becoming so volatile. And, once your kid is in HS, unless things are really off the rails, they are advocating for themselves or learning to roll with the punches if they don't like a teacher etc. Less parental involvement. And they are kicking butt in classes and standing out as a top performing student at a public high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This was my kid. They got into the top privates with a similar household income, without enough financial aid for us to feel comfortable making that $ commitment. While I know the education at the privates would have been great, several years in and looking at ever increasing college price tags, we are so so happy to not be "private school poor" especially with the job market in DC becoming so volatile. And, once your kid is in HS, unless things are really off the rails, they are advocating for themselves or learning to roll with the punches if they don't like a teacher etc. Less parental involvement. And they are kicking butt in classes and standing out as a top performing student at a public high school.

+1. My sister sent two kids to privates and now on to pricey private colleges (despite the fact that they got admitted to good publics). It amounts to almost $1 mil down the drain! It wasn’t a “stretch” for them per se but they are not super rich so that is money I know she wishes she had now. The kids are great kids (smart, focused, athletic, nice) and would have done just fine in publics. Financially, it just does not make sense unless you are truly wealthy or if grandparents are paying.

[Anonymous]

Private because what you describe with DCPS has not personally been my experience and I think your experience reflects a family approach that would be better served by private.

Yes there are things about DCPS that suck and drive me crazy, but mostly our approach is to let the chips fall where they may and then we pick up the slack on our own end with supplementing when DCPS fails us -- it annoys me but it's public school and we know the drill at this point and in some ways I like when can just solve these issues ourselves. I do see fellow parents dedicating a ton to "advocating" and raging at certain decisions and to me it's a waste of time. Especially as a parent of an only child -- our investment in the system is ultimately limited. Even stuff like this idiotic science curriculum -- I will register my opposition to it and support others in getting rid of it, but I know that any effort I put in will likely only help kids after my own. So my focus winds up being on how I'm going to supplement my child's science education to make up for that deficit.

We personally cannot afford a top private (though might qualify for more aid than you would if our kid got in) so it is what it is for us. If you are this upset about your experience in DCPS and can afford private, I'd just suck it up for four years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have had friends in this position. Those who were on the cusp of being able to easily afford it and who involved their child in the decision (school tours, interviews, etc) ended up in private. I think once the kids really got a taste for private school they said they were unimpressd with what they saw of Walls.

But i do agree the cultures are going to be really different. the curriculum is going to be more challenging at GDS or Sidwell, but the student body at Walls is going to be smarter. College placements are close. College readiness better at GDS or Sidwell, but I think at Walls they are ready enough. I have friends who went through Sidwell years ago who still feel burned out from the workload.

And The median income at GDS is $1 million. That comes with a host of cultural aspects that you either like or dont.

You pulled this stat out of thin air.
GDS (or any private school) has never asked parents to report their income.

[Anonymous]

This is a no brainer. With 1 kid and OP HHI, she can afford private. It is not a stretch. Go private.

DCPS has never been great and is going downhill even more. The race to the bottom is real. The continued lowering of standards is real and just when you don’t think the bottom could go lower, it does. Supplementing only gets you so far. It can’t make up for the many deficits.

I won’t even go into all the other BS of bureaucracy, behavior issues, bad teachers, subs, etc….

What better priority for your money than your kids education and experience?

[Anonymous]

This was the oldest kid of close friends of ours, except their HHI is a few 100K higher... but they also have 3 kids.

She ended up getting into Walls and liking it a lot on her tour, but was ultimately very taken with a (different) top private. They let her go and she's been very happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This was the oldest kid of close friends of ours, except their HHI is a few 100K higher... but they also have 3 kids.

She ended up getting into Walls and liking it a lot on her tour, but was ultimately very taken with a (different) top private. They let her go and she's been very happy.

I know a family with an almost identical experience (not the same fam since fewer kids, lower household income). They bemoan what they are paying for the private school and think their daughter, who was in DCPS through grade 8, would have been fine at Walls. But she apparently fell head over heels for this very prestigious private and is thriving there.

I think if you asked the daughter, it's worth it. If you ask the parents, it's an academic wash, but their kid loves the environment so much. That's hard to put a price-tag on.

I really think it's more about what fits your kid best and since I don't know her, I can't say. My guess is college/life outcomes aren't going to be radically different. It'll just be a different high school experience, but if the fit of the private is as amazing as it is for this kid, it's probably worth fewer trips to Italy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a no brainer. With 1 kid and OP HHI, she can afford private. It is not a stretch. Go private.

DCPS has never been great and is going downhill even more. The race to the bottom is real. The continued lowering of standards is real and just when you don’t think the bottom could go lower, it does. Supplementing only gets you so far. It can’t make up for the many deficits.

I won’t even go into all the other BS of bureaucracy, behavior issues, bad teachers, subs, etc….

What better priority for your money than your kids education and experience?

What DCPS HS does your kid go to?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have had friends in this position. Those who were on the cusp of being able to easily afford it and who involved their child in the decision (school tours, interviews, etc) ended up in private. I think once the kids really got a taste for private school they said they were unimpressd with what they saw of Walls.

But i do agree the cultures are going to be really different. the curriculum is going to be more challenging at GDS or Sidwell, but the student body at Walls is going to be smarter. College placements are close. College readiness better at GDS or Sidwell, but I think at Walls they are ready enough. I have friends who went through Sidwell years ago who still feel burned out from the workload.

And The median income at GDS is $1 million. That comes with a host of cultural aspects that you either like or dont.

You pulled this stat out of thin air.
GDS (or any private school) has never asked parents to report their income.

no, this is a fact (median income is $1 million) that I know because I have worked at a private high school and have close contacts in director-level jobs at GDS. It's true.