How to decide who pays for which family celebrations?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seems like the underlying issue is you are spending above your means. Go to cheaper restaurants.

This! Why can’t you go to a restaurant where you pay at the counter then sit down? That way every family is paying for their own meal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know, contributing to a couple sides versus splitting the meat could possibly come out to around the same amount.

Same with all the pastries and coffees at a cafe - have you seen how much places are charging for coffee these days?

Why should the party of two have to pay the same as the party of four (you)?

Ugh. Do you always have a hard time with reading comprehension?

OP is upset because the high earning party of TWO (couple) is paying less than the low earning party of TWO (adult and child)

[Anonymous]

With the stress you are feeling ( brother and SIL not paying fairly) I’d just announce that the celebrations have been fun but you are cutting back spending or eating out ( you choose) but still want family time or family celebrations so would like to ask if it can now be desert only. This way all together, the person you are celebrating can choose the desert ( they bring) and that is your rotation.

If the point is to be together and celebrate birthdays or milestones, the weight of “ paying one’s fair share” is lifted

Why bother the pretense of being together and enjoying everyone’s company if you or others are going to comp,Ian on the way home, or call the other sib the next day to talk about the other. Reframe this to be about family and not food. All I’ve got to offer.

[Anonymous]

The adult whose birthday it is pays for the entire meal. Or their spouse pays. If it’s Mother’s Day/ father’s day ask for separate checks for each family unit.

[Anonymous]

Just split the restaurant meals. Why does one person have to pay the whole bill? Or go to fewer restaurants. We don’t ask for money when we host at our home.

[Anonymous]

Most places can easily accommodate separate checks now. When I waited tables and we wrote the tickets by hand, it was a pain but now with electronic checks, it's much easier. I would state at the beginning of the meal that the plan is to do separate checks and stick to it.

[Anonymous]

Separate checks at restaurants. Rotate home celebrations and the host family should buy and serve what they want.