Stupid question about elite private high schools

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are parents really pissed if they spend $35k per year on an elite private high school, but their kid ends up at a 2nd tier or 3rd tier college (which likely could have been achieved had the kid just gone to a local public)?

I ask bc I frequently meet alums of Gonzaga and the like who went to college at, like, James Madison or something like that. Seems like a huge waste of honey on the parents’ part.

If yo put your kid in private school for college results you are stupid and get what you deserve. We put out kids there for a better education and overall experience. I’m encouraging them to apply to our state flagship.

[Anonymous]

Sandy Springs Friends School

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What makes you think we send kids to private school for college placement?

College placement is not a great measure of education but it tracks with test scores and grades.

The instruction in critical thinking, writing, and problem solving are not the same. Standardized tests don't measure these very well but they matter for life outcome.

Furthermore, the friends and connections you form in high school matter. They can help land a first job, get that promotion, or help with life down the road.

I can offer a recent example. My son had a friend from high school who after college suddenly lost a job. With one phone call I got him an interview for his current job that more than doubled his salary.

Public school parents tend to focus on college outcome, while private school parents focus more on life outcome.

What makes you think public school parents can't make that same phone call? Around here everyone is well connected.

Haha thanks for the laugh. You can get lucky at public school but you increase your chances in private. For example, the networking you get from community college vs HBS is not the same.

[Anonymous]

The question is not so much stupid as unoriginal. Asked-and-answered. So. Many. Times.

[Anonymous]

I had one in private and one in public. Each kid was where they needed to be at the time. My private kid is in a top engineering program and doesn't understand why people think engineering is hard. HS taught her to be comfortable with her teachers, comfortable seeking them out and asking questions, she knows how to organize her thoughts so she cam make the most of office hours, she learned the importance of "optional" test corrections and the value of ungraded homework. She learned how to look at problems from different perspectives and is comfortable asking for help when she gets stuck. Learning is fun for her. She was well prepared for college.

My public school kid is sailing through with no effort. He is not challenged academically. College is going to be a rude awakening for him. Now you're wondering why I don't put him in private then---he has a strong IEP and it's been wonderful. Next year he'll be a Sr and finally he's at a place where he doesn't need the IEP; the extra support has helped him and he has learned from it. However, I'm not moving a rising Sr to private.

For each kid, what college they ended up at was not part of the question. The question every year was: what is the best educational placement for this kid for this school year.

[Anonymous]

My child with LDs graduated from a $40k/year private school and is attending her first choice college, one with a 60% acceptance rate. She got through high school with her mental health largely intact. I'm thrilled by this outcome. Why wouldn't I be?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are parents really pissed if they spend $35k per year on an elite private high school, but their kid ends up at a 2nd tier or 3rd tier college (which likely could have been achieved had the kid just gone to a local public)?

I ask bc I frequently meet alums of Gonzaga and the like who went to college at, like, James Madison or something like that. Seems like a huge waste of honey on the parents’ part.

There are a few things wrong with this post, including the assumption that Gonzaga is an elite private institution.

[Anonymous]

Of course everyone here says no but the answer is often yes. Not because they necessarily regret spending the money, though some do, but because the fixation on prestige and status that often accompanies private school attendance doesn’t suddenly vanish when the kids turn 18.

Just look at how nasty the fights turn on this site every year when the college acceptance threads start. Or the fixation with middling private colleges over better-ranked and more highly regarded public ones. Plenty of parents may not care or learn to live with where their kid is ending up, but plenty of others don’t.

Both things can also be true—you can send your kid to private for better environment/education, but can also be disappointed with the college outcome.

[Anonymous]

Why do public schoolparents feel the need to start a thread like this weekly? Work out your insecurities elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course everyone here says no but the answer is often yes. Not because they necessarily regret spending the money, though some do, but because the fixation on prestige and status that often accompanies private school attendance doesn’t suddenly vanish when the kids turn 18.

Just look at how nasty the fights turn on this site every year when the college acceptance threads start. Or the fixation with middling private colleges over better-ranked and more highly regarded public ones. Plenty of parents may not care or learn to live with where their kid is ending up, but plenty of others don’t.

Both things can also be true—you can send your kid to private for better environment/education, but can also be disappointed with the college outcome.

+1. I agree. If you care so much about “better” education, nice environment, access to peers for future networking, etc. then it makes no sense you’d suddenly NOT care about that for college, especially when you’ve invested half a million dollars to that end. Pretending you don’t care is part of justifying the choice or saving face.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course everyone here says no but the answer is often yes. Not because they necessarily regret spending the money, though some do, but because the fixation on prestige and status that often accompanies private school attendance doesn’t suddenly vanish when the kids turn 18.

Just look at how nasty the fights turn on this site every year when the college acceptance threads start. Or the fixation with middling private colleges over better-ranked and more highly regarded public ones. Plenty of parents may not care or learn to live with where their kid is ending up, but plenty of others don’t.

Both things can also be true—you can send your kid to private for better environment/education, but can also be disappointed with the college outcome.

+1. I agree. If you care so much about “better” education, nice environment, access to peers for future networking, etc. then it makes no sense you’d suddenly NOT care about that for college, especially when you’ve invested half a million dollars to that end. Pretending you don’t care is part of justifying the choice or saving face.

For many of us, "better environment" mean a better fit. That will still hold true for college. T10/25/50 may not be the best fit for a kid. So if the kid went to an elite private school for fit, and then attends a college not in the T100 because of the fit, do you think the parents are disappointed? Do you think they feel they made a poor investment in their childs education?

[Anonymous]

I didn’t want my kid in a warehouse of a school with tons of kids, disinterested teachers (we’d been in public), a lack of opportunities for extra curricular activities, and crappy facilities. My kid goes to an expensive private with excellent facilities. College outcomes never crossed my mind. Also, tuition had no effect on our life.

I may be have been disappointed if I sent my kid to Gonzaga or other Catholic schools that were basically public schools.

[Anonymous]

It’s not like education only matters once you hit college. K-12 is much more important. Putting your kid in an intense academic knife fight with little support and poor teaching, through public high school, to finally get access to a good education once in college doesn’t make sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course everyone here says no but the answer is often yes. Not because they necessarily regret spending the money, though some do, but because the fixation on prestige and status that often accompanies private school attendance doesn’t suddenly vanish when the kids turn 18.

Just look at how nasty the fights turn on this site every year when the college acceptance threads start. Or the fixation with middling private colleges over better-ranked and more highly regarded public ones. Plenty of parents may not care or learn to live with where their kid is ending up, but plenty of others don’t.

Both things can also be true—you can send your kid to private for better environment/education, but can also be disappointed with the college outcome.

+1. I agree. If you care so much about “better” education, nice environment, access to peers for future networking, etc. then it makes no sense you’d suddenly NOT care about that for college, especially when you’ve invested half a million dollars to that end. Pretending you don’t care is part of justifying the choice or saving face.

For many of us, "better environment" mean a better fit. That will still hold true for college. T10/25/50 may not be the best fit for a kid. So if the kid went to an elite private school for fit, and then attends a college not in the T100 because of the fit, do you think the parents are disappointed? Do you think they feel they made a poor investment in their childs education?

Yes. There are very few parents at competitive DC privates that think their kid can’t find a good fit in the top 50. Not to mention the face-saving aspect of going somewhere ranked higher.

[Anonymous]

Our private has much better college placement than our zoned public high school. No reason to second guess. YMMV