Stupid question about elite private high schools

[Anonymous]

Are parents really pissed if they spend $35k per year on an elite private high school, but their kid ends up at a 2nd tier or 3rd tier college (which likely could have been achieved had the kid just gone to a local public)?

I ask bc I frequently meet alums of Gonzaga and the like who went to college at, like, James Madison or something like that. Seems like a huge waste of honey on the parents’ part.

[Anonymous]

What makes you think we send kids to private school for college placement?

College placement is not a great measure of education but it tracks with test scores and grades.

The instruction in critical thinking, writing, and problem solving are not the same. Standardized tests don't measure these very well but they matter for life outcome.

Furthermore, the friends and connections you form in high school matter. They can help land a first job, get that promotion, or help with life down the road.

I can offer a recent example. My son had a friend from high school who after college suddenly lost a job. With one phone call I got him an interview for his current job that more than doubled his salary.

Public school parents tend to focus on college outcome, while private school parents focus more on life outcome.

[Anonymous]

No, because most people who send their kids to private don't think the tuition part is a big deal. It's about the quality of the environment and learning, not a direct funnel to certain colleges.

Are privates around here $35k? Ours is $52k.

[Anonymous]

No, we don’t really see it as an investment in that sense, like expecting some big reward over public school. I don’t even think it’s necessarily better than public school, I just think it’s the best school for our kid and we can afford it and we did it.

Plus, you don’t know what that college means for that kid. Everyone is different. Going to an expensive private school doesn’t mean you necessarily have the capacity to be an elite student, especially if you started at the school in the early grades.

[Anonymous]

No and people aren’t sending their boys to Gonzaga for the college admissions.

[Anonymous]

Plenty of HYP grads have miserable lives. College placement isn't the ticket to success that you seem to think it is.

[Anonymous]

I used to have a similar outlook as you. When my teenagers were in preschool, we toured some privates, we’re almost sold and then were not impressed with the college outcomes. I thought we don’t have to pay 50k per year for our kid to end up at BU or NYU.

Fast forward a decade, my kid is a junior and I now don’t look down at BU or NYU. You need top grades for those schools from our public.

We are looking at private school for our third child. Our two older kids have done both pubic and private and at our local public (their choice). I don’t expect a college boost for my youngest. I do think small class sizes, better writing skills and personalized attention is worth the price.

[Anonymous]

My daughter started in private in 3rd grade at an all-girl school. Looking back, I have no regrets spending the tuition money (55k this year). She was getting lost in the large class size in public. At some point during 2nd grade, she broke down in tears and confessed that she had not done her homework for over a month (and the teacher didn’t even notice!).

DD flourished in the new environment. She developed great executive functions skills (taught explicitly at school) and gained lots of confidence over time. Perhaps the biggest value added has been in developing writing skills. Math has been underwhelming, same as in most other private schools, at least until later in high school. As far as college is college, DD got accepted to a T10 school. I have no idea if she would have been accepted there from the local public. But I can confidently say that the organizational, writing, and communication skills acquired in private school are worth every penny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, because most people who send their kids to private don't think the tuition part is a big deal. It's about the quality of the environment and learning, not a direct funnel to certain colleges.

Are privates around here $35k? Ours is $52k.

+1. It was never about college placement. It was about the journey. I have zero regrets on the $$$$ we spent K-12. Zero.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are parents really pissed if they spend $35k per year on an elite private high school, but their kid ends up at a 2nd tier or 3rd tier college (which likely could have been achieved had the kid just gone to a local public)?

I ask bc I frequently meet alums of Gonzaga and the like who went to college at, like, James Madison or something like that. Seems like a huge waste of honey on the parents’ part.

Meet them how? What do they do now?

[Anonymous]

No. I’m pleased that both my kids got a great education and experience and are/will be attending colleges that are good fits for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What makes you think we send kids to private school for college placement?

College placement is not a great measure of education but it tracks with test scores and grades.

The instruction in critical thinking, writing, and problem solving are not the same. Standardized tests don't measure these very well but they matter for life outcome.

Furthermore, the friends and connections you form in high school matter. They can help land a first job, get that promotion, or help with life down the road.

I can offer a recent example. My son had a friend from high school who after college suddenly lost a job. With one phone call I got him an interview for his current job that more than doubled his salary.

Public school parents tend to focus on college outcome, while private school parents focus more on life outcome.

100%

[Anonymous]

“College placement “

😂

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What makes you think we send kids to private school for college placement?

College placement is not a great measure of education but it tracks with test scores and grades.

The instruction in critical thinking, writing, and problem solving are not the same. Standardized tests don't measure these very well but they matter for life outcome.

Furthermore, the friends and connections you form in high school matter. They can help land a first job, get that promotion, or help with life down the road.

I can offer a recent example. My son had a friend from high school who after college suddenly lost a job. With one phone call I got him an interview for his current job that more than doubled his salary.

Public school parents tend to focus on college outcome, while private school parents focus more on life outcome.

What makes you think public school parents can't make that same phone call? Around here everyone is well connected.

[Anonymous]

We spend nearly twice that on tuition, and it’s not because we expect a specific outcome.