When your children are mixed or in general if your parents were immigrants

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also think that there is a chance that DC can choose later on to pick up the language as a teen etc and would probably end up at roughly the same proficient that way without endless language school every saturday as a child.

Why can't the non-native English speaking parent just speak to the child in the other language at home?

I think a lot of parents (particularly when the mom speaks the other language) try this at home, but it's hard to keep up if the other parent's first language is English because family conversations often default to English. That was the case in my home, where my dad is a Native english speaker but my mom is not.

Same here. British father, German mother. My mom is fluent in English, my dad knows next to no German. So everything in the house was in English (my mom would speak German to the kids if my dad wasn't around but that only gets you so far).
I took weekly German classes until middle school and I HATED it. I just wanted to be like all my friends whose parents were American and didn't have accents. I chose to study Spanish in school in rebellion. My siblings both took German all the way through high school, and they both lived in Germany for several years (military). I retain small vestiges, I can read children's books and get by when traveling. I do regret it somewhat, but I can't make myself not be a bratty kid who resists learning.

One of my kids chose to study German in school because of my mom though, so it's continuing in some form (the other did not.) If she continues, she will surpass my skills very quickly (if she hasn't already).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most Americans don’t speak their “heritage” language. I don’t speak German or French, the languages of some of my ancestors. It’s ok. It happens eventually to almost everyone.

That's very different and you know it.

Please explain.

You refer to "ancestors," not "family." So I presume you're not the child of an immigrant. Your close relatives have been here for a longer time. You don't actually having any close family members living in, say, Germany or France. You're just a typical white American who's been here forever.

Lol it’s only takes about 2 generations to get there. Your grandchildren. You’re not special.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most Americans don’t speak their “heritage” language. I don’t speak German or French, the languages of some of my ancestors. It’s ok. It happens eventually to almost everyone.

That's very different and you know it.

Please explain.

You refer to "ancestors," not "family." So I presume you're not the child of an immigrant. Your close relatives have been here for a longer time. You don't actually having any close family members living in, say, Germany or France. You're just a typical white American who's been here forever.

Lol it’s only takes about 2 generations to get there. Your grandchildren. You’re not special.

Some of us are less parochial, I guess.

I'm as white as you are. I'm also fluent in Spanish. I think it's important. I guess you don't. Your loss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most Americans don’t speak their “heritage” language. I don’t speak German or French, the languages of some of my ancestors. It’s ok. It happens eventually to almost everyone.

That's very different and you know it.

Please explain.

You refer to "ancestors," not "family." So I presume you're not the child of an immigrant. Your close relatives have been here for a longer time. You don't actually having any close family members living in, say, Germany or France. You're just a typical white American who's been here forever.

Lol it’s only takes about 2 generations to get there. Your grandchildren. You’re not special.

Some of us are less parochial, I guess.

I'm as white as you are. I'm also fluent in Spanish. I think it's important. I guess you don't. Your loss.

I majored in Spanish in college. So, wrong-o. Why would you assume white Americans, like you don’t speak Spanish? What an ignoramus. And I have no Spanish heritage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most Americans don’t speak their “heritage” language. I don’t speak German or French, the languages of some of my ancestors. It’s ok. It happens eventually to almost everyone.

That's very different and you know it.

Please explain.

You refer to "ancestors," not "family." So I presume you're not the child of an immigrant. Your close relatives have been here for a longer time. You don't actually having any close family members living in, say, Germany or France. You're just a typical white American who's been here forever.

Lol it’s only takes about 2 generations to get there. Your grandchildren. You’re not special.

Some of us are less parochial, I guess.

I'm as white as you are. I'm also fluent in Spanish. I think it's important. I guess you don't. Your loss.

I majored in Spanish in college. So, wrong-o. Why would you assume white Americans, like you don’t speak Spanish? What an ignoramus. And I have no Spanish heritage.

Majoring isn't the same as fluency. It's also odd AF that you majored in Spanish and are on here arguing against teaching kids to speak a second language. That tells me you're just here to troll. I have no time for that and won't engage with you any longer.

[Anonymous]

I think what you are feeling is normal but I also think it's an unfair expectation for your kids to have more interest than you did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most Americans don’t speak their “heritage” language. I don’t speak German or French, the languages of some of my ancestors. It’s ok. It happens eventually to almost everyone.

That's very different and you know it.

Please explain.

You refer to "ancestors," not "family." So I presume you're not the child of an immigrant. Your close relatives have been here for a longer time. You don't actually having any close family members living in, say, Germany or France. You're just a typical white American who's been here forever.

Lol it’s only takes about 2 generations to get there. Your grandchildren. You’re not special.

Some of us are less parochial, I guess.

I'm as white as you are. I'm also fluent in Spanish. I think it's important. I guess you don't. Your loss.

I majored in Spanish in college. So, wrong-o. Why would you assume white Americans, like you don’t speak Spanish? What an ignoramus. And I have no Spanish heritage.

Majoring isn't the same as fluency. It's also odd AF that you majored in Spanish and are on here arguing against teaching kids to speak a second language. That tells me you're just here to troll. I have no time for that and won't engage with you any longer.

Nobody said don’t teach them. Denying that the ties that bind will lessen over generations is just plain weird. That’s what’s going on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think what you are feeling is normal but I also think it's an unfair expectation for your kids to have more interest than you did.

I know so many kids of immigrants who resisted learning the language their parents tried to teach them. They regretted it later, but it’s pretty normal. Almost none gain real proficiency anyway they knew some phrases and have the pronunciation down and that’s about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most Americans don’t speak their “heritage” language. I don’t speak German or French, the languages of some of my ancestors. It’s ok. It happens eventually to almost everyone.

That's very different and you know it.

How is that different? Pretty sure that first generation of Germans or French spoke German or French to their own kids.

Interestingly my mother is first generation German and was born in the USA in 1945. Her parents spoke German at home to each other since they both immigrated as young adults but they actually forbade my mother and her brother to speak German. Like, ever. Even at home. Not only was there a pretty clear anti German sentiment at that time in America but the mind frame was just different. Everyone valued assimilation.

As it is, my mother understands German perfectly but can speak it only minimally. I can’t speak it at all. And there you have it. The same thing will happen to everyone after a few generations in a new country.

[Anonymous]

First generation American obviously. Oops.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most Americans don’t speak their “heritage” language. I don’t speak German or French, the languages of some of my ancestors. It’s ok. It happens eventually to almost everyone.

Agree. Your kids are American.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most Americans don’t speak their “heritage” language. I don’t speak German or French, the languages of some of my ancestors. It’s ok. It happens eventually to almost everyone.

That's very different and you know it.

Please explain.

You refer to "ancestors," not "family." So I presume you're not the child of an immigrant. Your close relatives have been here for a longer time. You don't actually having any close family members living in, say, Germany or France. You're just a typical white American who's been here forever.

Lol it’s only takes about 2 generations to get there. Your grandchildren. You’re not special.

Yep. Six out of eight of my great grandparents were born in other countries and two of my grandparents. Neither of my parents spoke the languages of the other countries. I have taken classes in one of the languages as an adult, partially because I like learning new things and partially to better appreciate the language and culture of my grandparents. But I had no real exposure to it growing up.

[Anonymous]

Dh's second language is my third language. Dh's first language (which is English) is my second language. Dh cannot speak or understand my first language. My kids only understand and speak English. No way that they able capable to learn my first language. They have difficulty to understand or speak Dh's second language aka my third language. Both Dh & I are not good enough in terms of prounciation to teach them that language.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dh's second language is my third language. Dh's first language (which is English) is my second language. Dh cannot speak or understand my first language. My kids only understand and speak English. No way that they able capable to learn my first language. They have difficulty to understand or speak Dh's second language aka my third language. Both Dh & I are not good enough in terms of prounciation to teach them that language.

Pp here. To make it more complicated, my parent's first language is my forth language which I can understand but I am not able to speak. Dh never picks up his parents' first language.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most Americans don’t speak their “heritage” language. I don’t speak German or French, the languages of some of my ancestors. It’s ok. It happens eventually to almost everyone.

That's very different and you know it.

How is that different? Pretty sure that first generation of Germans or French spoke German or French to their own kids.

Interestingly my mother is first generation German and was born in the USA in 1945. Her parents spoke German at home to each other since they both immigrated as young adults but they actually forbade my mother and her brother to speak German. Like, ever. Even at home. Not only was there a pretty clear anti German sentiment at that time in America but the mind frame was just different. Everyone valued assimilation.

As it is, my mother understands German perfectly but can speak it only minimally. I can’t speak it at all. And there you have it. The same thing will happen to everyone after a few generations in a new country.

My grandmother was 2nd generation. She spoke German with her 1st ten mother. Nobody has spoken German since. My dad knew a smattering or words. It just dies out in a few generations.