When your children are mixed or in general if your parents were immigrants

[Anonymous]

My parents where born in a different country and I grew up in the US.

I didn't retain the language and honestly do not have any close ties to anyone from my background. BUT when I had kids who are mixed, I realized that it would be important for them to have some language and family identity and background. I feel this pressure to have them take language classes or visit my parent's home country. Realisitically, I know they will not retain the language unless they immerse themselves or continue to study and practice it.

I need to know if anyone relates or what you do in this situation?

[Anonymous]

Honestly it pains me to say it but we opted out of the whole language thing for our DC. Once the native speaker link is broken it takes an almost herculean effort to get language to stick in the next generation. The amount of devotion to the effort would have severely limited other things that we find important in life and the cost/benefit was too much.

I am definitely sad about that but really the break happened before me when my family didn’t fully immerse me in the language at home even though they could have. Now I am not fluent even though I understand a lot of it but fluency is the real connection to any culture. We still belong to cultural social groups but no we are not fully connected the way that we could be if we were all fluent.

[Anonymous]

I also think that there is a chance that DC can choose later on to pick up the language as a teen etc and would probably end up at roughly the same proficient that way without endless language school every saturday as a child.

[Anonymous]

DH and I are from different immigrant backgrounds. Kid goes to immersion school for DH’s heritage language and DH supplements by chatting at home. She is by no means fluent, but she identifies with that aspect of her heritage through the language education.

She is very close to my immigrant parents, but doesn’t know the language outside of a few phrases. We celebrate holidays and enjoy cuisine from that culture.

It’s imperfect but works for us.

[Anonymous]

Are we talking about obscure languages?

One of our kids is married to a Spanish speaking immigrant and you'd better believe they're making sure the grandkids are raised speaking both languages. If they didn't do that, the grandkids wouldn't even be able to speak with half of their relatives. It's also important to retain your culture, don't you think?

I've never met a child of immigrants who doesn't speak the language of the parent or parents who weren't born here who doesn't regret it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I also think that there is a chance that DC can choose later on to pick up the language as a teen etc and would probably end up at roughly the same proficient that way without endless language school every saturday as a child.

Why can't the non-native English speaking parent just speak to the child in the other language at home?

[Anonymous]

Most Americans don’t speak their “heritage” language. I don’t speak German or French, the languages of some of my ancestors. It’s ok. It happens eventually to almost everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most Americans don’t speak their “heritage” language. I don’t speak German or French, the languages of some of my ancestors. It’s ok. It happens eventually to almost everyone.

That's very different and you know it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also think that there is a chance that DC can choose later on to pick up the language as a teen etc and would probably end up at roughly the same proficient that way without endless language school every saturday as a child.

Why can't the non-native English speaking parent just speak to the child in the other language at home?

I think a lot of parents (particularly when the mom speaks the other language) try this at home, but it's hard to keep up if the other parent's first language is English because family conversations often default to English. That was the case in my home, where my dad is a Native english speaker but my mom is not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most Americans don’t speak their “heritage” language. I don’t speak German or French, the languages of some of my ancestors. It’s ok. It happens eventually to almost everyone.

That's very different and you know it.

Please explain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most Americans don’t speak their “heritage” language. I don’t speak German or French, the languages of some of my ancestors. It’s ok. It happens eventually to almost everyone.

That's very different and you know it.

NP, and not sure how this would be any different pp. The only difference is number of generations.

I am from a different country, came to the US as an adult, and I made sure my kids speak my language. For this, we went every single summer back home, and spent Saturdays in a language school here. We also speak at home. And it still is very challenging.

But, I don’t know if they’ll be able to pass it on to their own kids, or their kids to their grandkids. The effort increases exponentially as ties get weaker, their knowledge of the language is worse than mine who grew up in the country, families grow up with generations, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most Americans don’t speak their “heritage” language. I don’t speak German or French, the languages of some of my ancestors. It’s ok. It happens eventually to almost everyone.

That's very different and you know it.

What? Your kids too will someday be mutt Americans a several generations removed from a country they feel no ties with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most Americans don’t speak their “heritage” language. I don’t speak German or French, the languages of some of my ancestors. It’s ok. It happens eventually to almost everyone.

That's very different and you know it.

How is that different? Pretty sure that first generation of Germans or French spoke German or French to their own kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most Americans don’t speak their “heritage” language. I don’t speak German or French, the languages of some of my ancestors. It’s ok. It happens eventually to almost everyone.

That's very different and you know it.

Please explain.

You refer to "ancestors," not "family." So I presume you're not the child of an immigrant. Your close relatives have been here for a longer time. You don't actually having any close family members living in, say, Germany or France. You're just a typical white American who's been here forever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most Americans don’t speak their “heritage” language. I don’t speak German or French, the languages of some of my ancestors. It’s ok. It happens eventually to almost everyone.

That's very different and you know it.

Please explain.

You refer to "ancestors," not "family." So I presume you're not the child of an immigrant. Your close relatives have been here for a longer time. You don't actually having any close family members living in, say, Germany or France. You're just a typical white American who's been here forever.

Lol it’s only takes about 2 generations to get there. Your grandchildren. You’re not special.