Look, I get that you're bummed your kid wasn't picked for something, but I would suggest you just go try to figure out what happened and if your kid even wanted the thing. One time my kid wasn't placed into a math enrichment activity and I was pissed, assuming she'd been skipped over. Turns out that she had the chance to try out but declined. She now knows that we expect her to do the harder work when it is offered to her and she should seek out challenges at school. But she did not know this in third grade. Talk to your kid and see what is going on. |
It means teachers have access to all kinds of information about your kid and they place them into the opportunities based on that. Like at our school, the kids who score above a certain threshold on the assessments get to have a special math club, those who score above a certain number on ELA get to join a book club. |
I'll also add that these are not "advertised" and I know certain parents who would flip their [lid] if they found out their kid wasn't included. That's probably why they aren't advertised. But they are wonderful opportunities for the kids involved. |
Thanks, PP. I’m the one who posted about the implicit auditions and this is exactly what I mean. Sometimes teachers don’t need “auditions” because they have way more information about, for instance, a kid’s math ability than one manufactured “audition” would ever demonstrate. Sometimes they want to pick the talented kids who demonstrate love for something — whether reading or singing — not motivate kids to strive for shiny objects their parents want them to want. Also, there are frankly lots of parents like you who don’t want to be told their kid isn’t wasn’t of the X best at something and they aren’t interested in having the fight 10x/year, so they don’t advertise the opportunity to the kids they’re passing over. In all cases, no, kids don’t actually need to know that they weren’t picked for something. |
| ^^ Sorry, like “you” should say OP, not best directed at PP. |
That is what happened. They just didn’t see any need to make your kid feel bad. My kid doesn’t need to know about everything they don’t get. |
This. The teachers all know who the top kids. At our school, the group of top kids in reading had a book club while the other kids worked on reading skills. They also got to do story time to the lower grades and some other things. Let it rest, OP. Yoir kid just didn’t make the cut. It’s OK and life. Other PP is right. The school and teachers don’t announce such things because parents will be emailing and calling ad nauseum about getting their kid in. I just see it as a sort of differentiation in the elementary level. |
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Invitation only means "*wink wink*, not special ed, *wink wink*".
Selective / Audition / Application is different. |
No. Our school has lots of invitation only stuff and it goes to the high achievers. |
+1 My kid is in a special math group that the school does not publicize. It’s with a teacher for another grade who was a middle school math teacher and just likes to mess around with fun math and logic problems with the kids who have the aptitude. Mine tests way above grade level and does math in his head in third grade that I need paper to do as an adult. |
NP. I don't know about this. Some of this stuff, yes, teachers will know because kids are explicitly tested in a variety of ways (homework, in class small groups, iReady diagnostics, RCTs, etc.). So yes, if the school does a club for kids who are advanced in math and only offers it to the kids testing above a certain level in math, that makes sense. But for categories, I think you need a more explicit try out. Some kids sing very well but are shy during music class and sing quietly or hide in the back. That's actually exactly the sort of kid who would benefit from being singled out for something like an after school choir. Not 5th Grade All Star Choir but a club specific to the school. Or with writing -- some kids write well but struggle with the structured writing they are prompted to do in school. If you're doing a creative writing club after school, you should base it on an open writing assignment that allows kids to show off their ability/creativity, not on how well they answer curriculum based reading comprehension questions in ELA. And OP said this club was for leadership. I actually think basing that on teacher selection instead of an application process is really dicy because in elementary, kids with "leadership" qualities are sometimes just popular kids. They tend to be the oldest in the grade, for boys the tallest or most athletic, for girls the prettiest. This is why we don't let 3rd graders vote (though many adults don't do any better than this). If I was creating a leadership club at an elementary school, I would have a formal application process where kids explained in their own words what makes a good leader, what they think it means to have strength of character, be persuasive, or what obligations leaders have to the people they lead. Some of the popular kids likely would do well on that application, but I bet you'd also discover some of the kids outside of that group have a lot to offer and deserve an opportunity to hone those leadership skills. Otherwise you are just reinforcing the shallow preferences of school popularity, not really helping to build strong leaders. |
All of this was written by someone who is clearly not a teacher. I was a teacher for years. Teachers understand each kid very well, and can see through all of this. Teachers also have a LOT of exposure to parents who don't have a good grasp on how their kids compare to the rest of the kids. |
There are great teachers. There are mediocre teachers. There are some bad teachers. Teachers are fallible. Some teachers absolutely do not do a good job of recognizing the potential of kids or discerning the difference between popularity based on shallow advantages like appearance and wealth, versus actual ability or potential. Sometimes kids who have something meaningful to offer get overlooked if not given a chance to prove themselves. |
I think the broader point is that it is sh*tty not to have club opportunities available to all kids. They don’t all have to be on the math team but there should be a club for every kid that wants to be in one. |
Dude. This is a public elementary school in a high poverty city. Not Phillips Andover. |