High school senior wants to host a ski weekend at our country house. What rules would you dictate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are they all 18?

Yes, I told ds no one who is younger. Private school so there was a lot of red shirting it seems among boys!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone btdt?

Obviously drinking and driving is my biggest concern. I won’t provide alcohol fwiw. Actually just driving worries me. The roads are winding and can be difficult to navigate, especially after dark.

Thoughts?

Well for one they don't go with cars!

How is this hard?

If you want to let them to stay, you drop them off and pick them up.

We have houses at the beach and mountains that have always been our rules.

I’m supposed to tell another parents child that they can’t drive to our house? Yes, that’s sane /s/

Yes, why of course.

(For our places, we shuttle them back and forth with our helicopter /s/)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone btdt?

Obviously drinking and driving is my biggest concern. I won’t provide alcohol fwiw. Actually just driving worries me. The roads are winding and can be difficult to navigate, especially after dark.

Thoughts?

Well for one they don't go with cars!

How is this hard?

If you want to let them to stay, you drop them off and pick them up.

We have houses at the beach and mountains that have always been our rules.

I’m supposed to tell another parents child that they can’t drive to our house? Yes, that’s sane /s/

Yes, why of course.

(For our places, we shuttle them back and forth with our helicopter /s/)

Right. From your mountain house to your beach house! /s/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyone btdt?

Obviously drinking and driving is my biggest concern. I won’t provide alcohol fwiw. Actually just driving worries me. The roads are winding and can be difficult to navigate, especially after dark.

Thoughts?

Just say no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You be there. That, of course

Yes, although we have a separate unit we plan to put the boys in

How far is it from the one where you would be staying? How well do you know the kids?

I allowed weekends and Beach week at our beach house, but I always maintained veto power over guests. I did not exercise control over driving other than that for my own kid. But I did let parents know about the area so they could set their own boundaries, though I am not the enforcer of anyone but my own child's behavior. I asked that they not watch anything that they would not be comfortable with me seeing - I don't want porn on my TVs. I do not grocery shop, cook or clean up after guests that I haven't invited, so they were on their own for that. (I do cook sometimes because my kids' friends have a few things they love for me to make for them). Drinking is an absolute no, even if you are over 21 if the rest of the crowd has minors. If they are all over 21, then no driving after drinking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:oh I bet they do

Right????

God people are so dumb

You do realize these are legal adults, right? Some of you are such freaks

This is same old debate that comes up over and over.

Do 18 year olds get drunk and do dumb and unsafe things? Yes. Is this normal and even common? Yes. Will many of them do dumb and unsafe things in college? Yes. Do I as their parent need to enable and/or facilitate this happening on my property with my prior knowledge? No.

Other people's answer to the last question obviously varies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are they all 18?

Yes, I told ds no one who is younger. Private school so there was a lot of red shirting it seems among boys!

Of course.

[Anonymous]

No

[Anonymous]

18 year old boys, no.
But if they were girls, I would be more likely to be able to trust them.
My DD is 17 and she’d be responsible in this situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyone btdt?

Obviously drinking and driving is my biggest concern. I won’t provide alcohol fwiw. Actually just driving worries me. The roads are winding and can be difficult to navigate, especially after dark.

Thoughts?

How many kids? How well do you know them? From what you know do they mostly make decent decisions? Any known disrupters in group? Are they going skiing? How would they get to and from anything they'd do while up there?

I'd need to know all this before giving you a list of suggested rules

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:oh I bet they do

Right????

God people are so dumb

You do realize these are legal adults, right? Some of you are such freaks

Maybe they are but I wouldn't want to be held responsible for these legal adults dumb decisions when their litigious parents come after me. So I would say no unless I planned to be there.

There is no vicarious or host liability for 18 year olds in most states. They are considered legal adults. The only exceptions would be if the host served alcohol

HS seniors aren't all 18. I would assume some 17 yr olds would be there. And still, this would never stop litigious parents for finding some way to blame the homeowners. Pass.

[Anonymous]

Depending on kids’ personalities it could be totally fine or get crazy. You would have some insight into your DS’ friends. I think at that age some would certainly try to bring alcohol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:oh I bet they do

Right????

God people are so dumb

You do realize these are legal adults, right? Some of you are such freaks

Maybe they are but I wouldn't want to be held responsible for these legal adults dumb decisions when their litigious parents come after me. So I would say no unless I planned to be there.

There is no vicarious or host liability for 18 year olds in most states. They are considered legal adults. The only exceptions would be if the host served alcohol

HS seniors aren't all 18. I would assume some 17 yr olds would be there. And still, this would never stop litigious parents for finding some way to blame the homeowners. Pass.

Follow the thread. Yes, 18

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Depending on kids’ personalities it could be totally fine or get crazy. You would have some insight into your DS’ friends. I think at that age some would certainly try to bring alcohol.

All boys, 18, good kids that we've known for a number of years, but still... boys. We are pretty much the only family that hasn't hosted anything social among the group (our main house is the smallest of dc's friends!) so I would like to find a way to do this. We will be there but in a connected part of the house with a separate entrance (dc and friends would be in the mother in law unit). What rules should I impose other than no drinking!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depending on kids’ personalities it could be totally fine or get crazy. You would have some insight into your DS’ friends. I think at that age some would certainly try to bring alcohol.

All boys, 18, good kids that we've known for a number of years, but still... boys. We are pretty much the only family that hasn't hosted anything social among the group (our main house is the smallest of dc's friends!) so I would like to find a way to do this. We will be there but in a connected part of the house with a separate entrance (dc and friends would be in the mother in law unit). What rules should I impose other than no drinking!

Ok, it's a plus that you already know them and there are no obvious troublemakers in the group and no totally unknown kids. But you still haven't said whether once they're up at your house, will the be driving anywere local to that house, like ski slopes or out to eat/hear music? No drugs or alcohol is the most basic obvious rule, but it's one thing if they'll pretty much just be in your house the entire time, vs. driving themselves to and from places while there.