Old High School Friends

[Anonymous]

Yes, and he has managed to convince a few to transfer to his OOS college. He attracts friends anywhere he goes.

[Anonymous]

I'm still friends with my crew from HS.

This question is weird to me.

[Anonymous]

Yes. College junior and sees his core high school group on breaks. I’m 50 and have plans to see my high school friends over thanksgiving break. We have so much shared history the bond is closer than with my friends from undergrad, grad school, and professional life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm still friends with my crew from HS.

This question is weird to me.

It's not weird. Lots of kids drift away from their HS friends when they go to college, and when they come back during the summer, the relationship isn't the same.

As they get older, they also get busier in the summer with internships. My kid was home all of two weeks during the summer. Next summer, they'll be here for a week. They may see their old friends maybe once for dinner or something, but that's about it now. They prefer to also hang out more with their college friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm still friends with my crew from HS.

This question is weird to me.

It's not weird. Lots of kids drift away from their HS friends when they go to college, and when they come back during the summer, the relationship isn't the same.

As they get older, they also get busier in the summer with internships. My kid was home all of two weeks during the summer. Next summer, they'll be here for a week. They may see their old friends maybe once for dinner or something, but that's about it now. They prefer to also hang out more with their college friends.

Nah, I think some kids never really made close friends in HS. That happens. And those kids don't stay close to these not-great-friends. Why would they?

Same 40 years ago. Probably same 400 years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Very much.
Small private - these kids from home are the forever friends.

Yep. It's different than when we were kids. With social media and texting they all keep in very close touch. My kids will know their high school friends until they're 80.

While this may happen and sounds lovely, how could you possibly know this? And why romanticize this to begin with? Social media and texting are great but if you don't live the same place as people, probably not going to be hanging regularly until you are 80 if you met when you were 10. And not everyone returns to their home town.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do your college students see their old high school friends when they come home or have they drifted apart?

He sees a couple but pretty much drifted apart from HS friends. He sees more kids from his College that has things in common with.

He's very social but not attached to groups.

[Anonymous]

I think it says more about the kids high school experience and it says about anything else. If they’re not keeping in touch, they didn’t have close friends there. That’s it.

[Anonymous]

Yes.

My kids were at a small private (non-DMV) school and are VERY close to HS friends. Like at each other's house every day over breaks, living together in the summers at apartments, visiting each other's campuses, etc. They know a lot about each other's experiences and have met their HS friends' friends at college.

[Anonymous]

Yes. My kid usually has a “Friendsgiving” with about ten girlfriends. She also works at a locally owned restaurant in town over breaks, so she gets to catch up with a lot of people, older and younger than her. She has a bunch of college friends, but is looking forward to seeing her HS buddies.

[Anonymous]

like most of us, I went to the same HS as my siblings. And my kids went to the same HS.

Whether you keep in touch with your friends is just about the friend group. Some classes are kinda duds. And some kids are not their best themselves during HS.

My siblings range from going to Europe with friends to never going to a reunion. My kids are mostly tight but one has a much larger group than the other who has a small circle of 3 guys.

I dont think any of this has anything to do with 'these days' etc

[Anonymous]

My class of '23 child is very close with a few high school friends. My class of '21 child isn't as things never jelled the same with the pandemic. they went to a private DC HS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do your college students see their old high school friends when they come home or have they drifted apart?

What about you OP, did you see your old High School's friends when you came home from College or have you all drifted apart?

I've had acquaintances from High School and College throughout the years... but only ONE dear friend still around. We have a lot in common so that's why the relationship has lasted this long.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Very much.
Small private - these kids from home are the forever friends.

Yep. It's different than when we were kids. With social media and texting they all keep in very close touch. My kids will know their high school friends until they're 80.

Is it so different? My ride-or-die best friend in the world is a high school friend. We went to college in different states and have never lived in the same place again. My three siblings' wedding parties included high school friends. I don't think this is any different from before. Some people stay close, others don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it says more about the kids high school experience and it says about anything else. If they’re not keeping in touch, they didn’t have close friends there. That’s it.

Not necessarily. People change once they move on to new stages in life and drift apart. Sometimes high school friendships are just a matter of convenience (being at the same place at the same time). I'm from a rural area and I'm pretty liberal. Many people who I grew up with are moderate/conservative, religious, etc. Once I left that area and moved to the closest large city and came into my own, those friends drifted from me as we didn't share many commonalities.