HS seniors - whose kid's friend group is imploding?

[Anonymous]

Yes, happening to my DD. Two of the girls have started dating each other. Wouldn't be a problem, except girl1 is jealous of girl2's longtime friendship with my DD, who is not gay. Group dynamics are trending in a bad direction. Not imploding yet, but soon.

[Anonymous]

Between this and the Halloween group costume thread, I’m so glad I have sons. What is different between now and when I was in high school 30 years ago? Is all this drama driven by social media?

[Anonymous]

Happening with my kid too.

[Anonymous]

She better learn to make new friends - she will in college, she'll have to. May as well practice now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She better learn to make new friends - she will in college, she'll have to. May as well practice now.

I think the difference is that in HS, all the friend groups have been formed. In college, almost everyone is new looking to form friend groups.

[Anonymous]

I can bet that some boy is involved in this drama.

[Anonymous]

It is happening with my DD too. One girl in the group is super toxic and the pressure of college admits is proving to be the unwinding of the group. This girl has a lot of issues but also believes she is the smartest person in the world. Her boastful years of telling everyone she is going Ivy with her perfect scores and grades is proving to be years of lies. While I am not sad for this friendship to end- I do have empathy for this girl and my DD is taking it hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s an important lesson that will serve her well in college and adulthood that you should try to cultivate a broad network of friends and acquaintances, and not always put 100% of your eggs into one friendship basket.

Also there’s enormous pressure in American society that senior year should be magical and you should always look back on it fondly.

Try not to buy into that narrative if it doesn’t fit your life. It just adds to your DDs stress. The closeness was going to break up in a few months anyway.

This. Help kids have different friends in different places.

Many kids do not have a "magical" senior year, so help kids manage their expectations.

And do remind kids that HS friends likely will drift away as they go to different colleges, get jobs in different metro areas, get married, and so on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your DD is a drama llama

Does anyone else think the phrase "drama llama" is only used by people with the emotional maturity of 10 year olds?

[Anonymous]

This happened to my kid at the end of middle school - complete implosion and it ruined their freshman year - until they joined a new sport and found much more compatible people.
I agree with above PP - cultivate a broad network so if one group evaporates, you're not adrift. It was horrible to witness as a parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Between this and the Halloween group costume thread, I’m so glad I have sons. What is different between now and when I was in high school 30 years ago? Is all this drama driven by social media?

Did you go to high school around here?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is happening with my DD too. One girl in the group is super toxic and the pressure of college admits is proving to be the unwinding of the group. This girl has a lot of issues but also believes she is the smartest person in the world. Her boastful years of telling everyone she is going Ivy with her perfect scores and grades is proving to be years of lies. While I am not sad for this friendship to end- I do have empathy for this girl and my DD is taking it hard.

Oh yes. This is happening to my kid’s friend as well. I don’t say a word, but much of this is predictable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Between this and the Halloween group costume thread, I’m so glad I have sons. What is different between now and when I was in high school 30 years ago? Is all this drama driven by social media?

Did you go to high school around here?

Not the PP but responding to PP: I graduated from HS over 30 years ago. In spring of my senior year I chose to completely break friendship with my then two best friends. This has been happening across time.

[Anonymous]

I went to school around here and other than one friend who tried to steal a boyfriend no one had any drama in my circle. We all stayed friends with her too and the guy had enough respect to just tell her no so her manipulations didnt last long. Most kids at my school had integrity and side activities they were really into plus they had jobs and no tutors or family legacies and most were college bound. Some kids had died from illness, drugs, or car crashes and life felt precious. We all worked hard and enjoyed each other. No cell phones so we only had each other.

[Anonymous]

I went to high school around here and my group of female friends was the best one I’ve ever had in my life. No drama, all love and support. Really solidified senior year. (Was not so lucky in college, unfortunately.)

I do remember occasionally girls that had been cast off from the more popular groups would hang out with us and say how envious they were that we were all actually good friends, because things were not at all what they seemed among their groups. That’s stuck with me through the years as I’ve watched my own teen DD navigate high school friendships. Fortunately she seems to have found some likeminded low-drama nice kids.