HS seniors - whose kid's friend group is imploding?
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Anonymous
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Raise your hand if your HS senior DD is losing their friend group.
They've pushed her out, and she's lost her friend group. I don't think this is a "soil the nest" situation because some of them are still friends. They've turned some kids against DD. Long story short: misunderstandings, miscommunication, no one wants to admit fault, trust issues, maybe some jealousy and immaturity. She still has some friends, thankfully, but not her once tight friend group that she has had for a few years, and that she thought would be her BFF. She wanted her senior year to be filled with wonderful memories of her friend group, and now it's a nightmare for her. Tears almost everyday. She wants to graduate early (has enough credits). That's how awful it's been for her. My heart aches for her. Is anyone else's DD having such a rough start to senior year? Why is this happening. I don't know how to help her other than let her talk it out. |
Anonymous
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From what I can see, the kids who are generally chill and friendly are really enjoying time with each other.
The kids who have always been drama prone continue to do so, however. |
Anonymous
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Yep my DD lost all her friends at the end of 10th grade.
DD BF and another girl fought over a guy. DD stood with her BF. Other friends dropped her completely. It was horrible. BF was always drama drama drama. Luckily DD made lifelong friends at college. |
Anonymous
| My daughter still has some of her friends, but one of them graduated early/ |
Anonymous
| I'm sorry your DD is going through this. But reading your post I see a lot of blaming others and no accepting responsibility for whatever your DD's role may have been. |
Anonymous
? "misunderstandings, miscommunication, no one wants to admit fault, trust issues, maybe some jealousy and immaturity. " - never said it was one sided. |
Anonymous
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It sucks and I agree with others you just examine it and learn from it and take accountability where you can and move on. It’s early enough in the year she could invest in other friendships.
Groups like this are often a lot of drama. Maybe focus on some one on one friendships based on common interests. |
Anonymous
This is good to hear. She is definitely looking forward to college. She's always wanted to go oos but now she *really* wants to leave. |
Anonymous
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From what I saw, my youngest’s friend group stayed together because it revolved around sports and HS electives. But as the year progressed, the friends group got smaller as everyone got ready for summer jobs and post HS plans - not all were heading to college and none were going to the same one.
Here’s the thing. It could get worse. Prom season and beach week and other events are on the horizon and will be difficult on her if her friend group is the type to participate. So I’d give serious consideration to early graduation. Or a short day of school with a job or community college classes in the afternoon. |
Anonymous
| Your DD is a drama llama |
Anonymous
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This exactly happened to my DD summer before senior year. It sucked. She was at a private school and was a club athlete. At school, the boys took her in, she leaned into sport friends, and happened to start dating a boy from another school. These things kept her social life pretty good, but things were different.
There was a ring leader, as there usually is with the girls. It was really disappointing to see some girls follow the ring leader rather than stand up for my DD. Late winter, the ring leader did something else and the rest of the girls had an "a ha" moment. My DD slowly reentered the fold (trouble making, ring leader was outcast) which was nice for prom and other end of year activities. It's hard and sad to watch. DD is in college now with none of her HS classmates and loving it! |
Anonymous
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My DD’s large group fractured senior year. I think they were partially going different directions in how they liked to party. Being pandemic teens (in college now), I think the group held together longer than it would have normally. Things like Beach Week can also prompt disputes.
I think some kids were also just tired of their old friends and looking forward to college. |
Anonymous
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I had a tight friend group implode at the end of 11th grade. There was even a dramatic "telling off"of one girl. We were 6 bff super close girls. But the truth was were were already splitting by interests and activities and boyfriends and style, for lack of a better word. I had a wonderful senior year with 2 of the girls from that group. It might help that the group didn't kick me our but split into mingroups of 2 or 3 (and one girl joined band and ignored all of us complely - not the told off girl either). It was time. We mostly ignored each other but were friendly except with the band girl. The girl who got told off and the teller offer even reconnected during college and hung out a lot one year.
I am still good friends with one of the girls in my minisplit group. Wonderful senior memories can come wuth one or two good friends. |
Anonymous
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These groups tend to splinter if it’s too insular and there isn’t enough time with other friends. It’s too much.
Happened to me in high school. I moved on and hung out with other people. |
Anonymous
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It’s an important lesson that will serve her well in college and adulthood that you should try to cultivate a broad network of friends and acquaintances, and not always put 100% of your eggs into one friendship basket.
Also there’s enormous pressure in American society that senior year should be magical and you should always look back on it fondly. Try not to buy into that narrative if it doesn’t fit your life. It just adds to your DDs stress. The closeness was going to break up in a few months anyway. |