If you married a momma's boy, how is it going?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you outlive his mom, then he will probably transfer that doting on to you. Will you like that, or then complain about feeling smothered?

It is a crisis when their mother dies. The men don't simply transfer their feelings and attention to their wives/SOs.

So they keep mother in a chair in an upstairs window?
"What's that mother? She's no good anymore? Yes mother!"

[Anonymous]

How does a boy become a momma’s boy? Asking for a friend..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:17 years here, still feeling the effects. I was too young and stupid to see the red flags and too naive to jump ship earlier.

Three decades and MIL is still hanging around, probably I'll die before her. Family enmeshment never really goes away, mama's boys and daddy's girls are conditioned to be keepers of their siblings as well.

[Anonymous]

This is my BIl. Though he never married hasn’t dated anyone in 15 years. In his early 40s and lives with his mom, and barely works. They do everything together. Think they are better than everyone else. MIL blames BIL failure to launch on all sorts of stuff except herself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP, not to be rude or snarky, but if you don't know, you probably aren't married to one, thankfully!

Feels an emotional obligation to mommy before anyone and anything else, including even themselves. . . . mom's emotional needs come first before anything else. . .

So sorta like Anthony Hopkins in "Psycho"..... ick.

Anthony Perkins

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:17 years here, still feeling the effects. I was too young and stupid to see the red flags and too naive to jump ship earlier.

Three decades and MIL is still hanging around, probably I'll die before her. Family enmeshment never really goes away, mama's boys and daddy's girls are conditioned to be keepers of their siblings as well.

It also can be mama’s girls. My sister and I realized this recently. It wasn’t just our baby brother but he had the worst case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s his mother she comes first. One day when you are older you will understand. Or, this is a culture issue and you are a sad egotistical white woman not understanding family loyalty, aging family support. You will someday want your child to love you the same way.

Not before his wife and kids she doesn't. You're crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP, not to be rude or snarky, but if you don't know, you probably aren't married to one, thankfully!

Feels an emotional obligation to mommy before anyone and anything else, including even themselves. . . . mom's emotional needs come first before anything else. . .

So sorta like Anthony Hopkins in "Psycho"..... ick.

Anthony Perkins

Get both!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How does a boy become a momma’s boy? Asking for a friend..

Not having a masculine dad around. Boy being raised by a Karen or single mother usually causes it.

[Anonymous]

I divorced him.

[Anonymous]

He's divorcing me and it's a nightmare. Imagine a grown man having mommy tell him that he can do no wrong when a wife and children are involved, and running the legal side of things for him.

I write every email and have my attorney draft every communication as if his mommy is reading it out loud to STBX Momma's Boy while holding his hand. Because she is.

[Anonymous]

I am gonna get hit on this a bit, but I do think ethnicity and culture comes into play. Not every mama's boy is the same. The Arab men, especially the oldest boys, are worshipped by both parents. The Italian boys are like a living version of St. Peter (or Paul) in the eyes of their mothers. The Indian guys who get worshipped by their mothers usually have trouble with women and predetermined expectations. Most of the Jewish guys I've known who are mama's boys turn out to be gay or have gay tendencies.

[Anonymous]

OP, out of curiosity what red flags did you pick up on when you met his mom?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, out of curiosity what red flags did you pick up on when you met his mom?

Going by Lifetime movies,
she probably gives snarky comments about your appearance in front of you both and runs you down with fake compliments,
talks about how lovely and perfect his ex was (who is dead now)
puts you into dangerous situations such as riding a dangerous horse or "accidently" giving you poisons,
chaining you up in a room when you are preggers, etc.

[Anonymous]

I call my husband a reformed mamas boy. We met young and dated a while before getting married, and I would not have married him if he was still what I considered a mamas boy.

The biggest red flags I noticed early on were deferring to his mom against me. I recently read a thread on reddit about a man trying to control his wifes birth plan because his mom made some comments about it. So instead of trusting his wife and their doctors, he tried to manipulate her into doing what his mother said. For her own birth! Good lord I feel bad for some of the women out there. Stay strong!