If you married a momma's boy, how is it going?

[Anonymous]

17 years here, still feeling the effects. I was too young and stupid to see the red flags and too naive to jump ship earlier.

[Anonymous]

Define mommas boy? Clingy to his mom and not dad, and does more girly stuff than manly things?

He might be closeted.

[Anonymous]

PP, not to be rude or snarky, but if you don't know, you probably aren't married to one, thankfully!

Feels an emotional obligation to mommy before anyone and anything else, including even themselves. . . . mom's emotional needs come first before anything else. . .

[Anonymous]

My MIL thinks the world of 3 out of her 4 sons. Her 4 sons dote on her. She has a slightly less positive relationship with her oldest son, who interestingly has done the MOST for her... familiarity breeds contempt, I guess. My husband is son #2. He can do no wrong in her eyes. He manages her finances from afar.

I'm not sure I know what you're talking about, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP, not to be rude or snarky, but if you don't know, you probably aren't married to one, thankfully!

Feels an emotional obligation to mommy before anyone and anything else, including even themselves. . . . mom's emotional needs come first before anything else. . .

That is so sweet of him! You must be proud of him, not sure what is your problem.

[Anonymous]

It’s horrible. His true loyalty is and always will be to her so he has no qualms about leaving me and the kids

[Anonymous]

It’s his mother she comes first. One day when you are older you will understand. Or, this is a culture issue and you are a sad egotistical white woman not understanding family loyalty, aging family support. You will someday want your child to love you the same way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:17 years here, still feeling the effects. I was too young and stupid to see the red flags and too naive to jump ship earlier.

Is he a mother-enmeshed man (MEM)? Sorry you have to deal with this. My brother also was enmeshed with my mom and he never had a relationship that lasted because he was emotionally married to my mom and the women couldn't compete.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous]
My MIL thinks the world of 3 out of her 4 sons. Her 4 sons dote on her. She has a slightly less positive relationship with her oldest son, who interestingly has done the MOST for her... familiarity breeds contempt, I guess. My husband is son #2. He can do no wrong in her eyes. He manages her finances from afar.

I'm not sure I know what you're talking about, though. [/quote]

OP is talking about a man like this: https://www.markreidmft.com/mother-enmeshed-men.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP, not to be rude or snarky, but if you don't know, you probably aren't married to one, thankfully!

Feels an emotional obligation to mommy before anyone and anything else, including even themselves. . . . mom's emotional needs come first before anything else. . .

So sorta like Anthony Hopkins in "Psycho"..... ick.

[Anonymous]

If you outlive his mom, then he will probably transfer that doting on to you. Will you like that, or then complain about feeling smothered?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:17 years here, still feeling the effects. I was too young and stupid to see the red flags and too naive to jump ship earlier.

Is he a mother-enmeshed man (MEM)? Sorry you have to deal with this. My brother also was enmeshed with my mom and he never had a relationship that lasted because he was emotionally married to my mom and the women couldn't compete.

Correct. The PP’s above are lucky they don’t have to understand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP, not to be rude or snarky, but if you don't know, you probably aren't married to one, thankfully!

Feels an emotional obligation to mommy before anyone and anything else, including even themselves. . . . mom's emotional needs come first before anything else. . .

So sorta like Anthony Hopkins in "Psycho"..... ick.

Well, that takes it to another level, but yes, the idea is the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you outlive his mom, then he will probably transfer that doting on to you. Will you like that, or then complain about feeling smothered?

It is a crisis when their mother dies. The men don't simply transfer their feelings and attention to their wives/SOs.

[Anonymous]

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