Child might appear privledged on paper

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a myth that colleges want poor kids with screwed up lives.

They want mentally well adjusted kids who are prepared for college and can afford tuition. if that's how your daughter appears on paper, let them think that

I agree with you in theory, but they want *diversity* and if this appears to be a rich white kid they might put them at the bottom of the list. Or maybe the endowments will be hurting by then and it helps? Who knows.

They only want a certain type of diversity. They want racial and socioeconomic diversity. They don’t want kids with medical disabilities or kids who may be troubled because those kids may be hard for a college to accommodate.

My kid with medical issues didn’t mention any of them on their application for that reason.

Interesting perspective. I wonder if there is any data to support that idea that they actually discriminate.

[Anonymous]

OP, your child is privileged. They have a loving and committed parent who has made sacrifices for their success (this is one more than many kids have). They have had access to good, well-founded schools. They appear to be intellectually capable of academic achievement and have the ability and disposition to work hard at it.

Many people have "hidden" challenges that are not immediately apparent, especially in a resume or job application. For instance, people who look at me see a privileged person who grew up MC or UMC in an intact family with a successful father. And I am that. I was also physically abused and neglected for most of my childhood, constantly told I was lazy and a burden, that I was ugly and useless, and that my parents wished I'd never been born.

There is no good way to introduce those facts about myself when applying for admission to something, not would I want to. I just play along in those situations and pretend I am the person they think I am. Only I know what it takes to pretend that for them. Even if I explained it, they wouldn't understand.

People see my privilege and not my challenges. Oh well, that's life. If they saw my challenges, they would get as likely to scorn me as cut me a break.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a myth that colleges want poor kids with screwed up lives.

They want mentally well adjusted kids who are prepared for college and can afford tuition. if that's how your daughter appears on paper, let them think that

I agree with you in theory, but they want *diversity* and if this appears to be a rich white kid they might put them at the bottom of the list. Or maybe the endowments will be hurting by then and it helps? Who knows.

They only want a certain type of diversity. They want racial and socioeconomic diversity. They don’t want kids with medical disabilities or kids who may be troubled because those kids may be hard for a college to accommodate.

My kid with medical issues didn’t mention any of them on their application for that reason.

Interesting perspective. I wonder if there is any data to support that idea that they actually discriminate.

In one episode, YCBK advised applicants to not discuss any mental health challenges they may have had in their essays.

[Anonymous]

My T1D kid didn't make their essay about type 1, but didn't hesitate to hide it, either. Definitely came through in lots of ways -- several related activities, plus I know she discussed it in interviews. My sense is that if the kid is managing it well, it's just another facet of who they are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What disease is incompatible with life but yet the host lives to 18+ and can attend college??

You've never met someone with type I diabetes have you? Make a mistake with insulin and you're dead pretty quick. Lots of people live with diseases like that.

Diabetes is not typically referred to as “incompatible with life.”

Incompatible with life is a controversial phrase because there are people who survive years with a condition that typical results in quick death, but it typically is used for things like anencephaly; birth defects or medical conditions so severe that the baby dies very shortly (minutes, hours, maybe days) after birth, if they even survive the birth.

A medical condition like diabetes, or a severe allergy, which could quickly kill a person if a mistake is made, is still not typically considered incompatible with life.

[Anonymous]

Every rich kid has endured hardship, your kid isn’t special.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What disease is incompatible with life but yet the host lives to 18+ and can attend college??

You've never met someone with type I diabetes have you? Make a mistake with insulin and you're dead pretty quick. Lots of people live with diseases like that.

You're crazy. And here I thought you'd say something like ALS, MS, or MD.

+1

My dc was also diagnosed with a not as serious illness their junior which greatly impacted their daily life. They could no longer attend full days of school, or participate in their usual activities. School counselor offered to write an impact letter to the admissions offices but dc wanted this information to remain private as it was such a huge impact and was taking an emotional toll. Schools probably wouldn’t have cared anyways.

I hate how college apps have resulted in kids dramatizing faux challenges. Most kids don’t have a unique challenge they have overcome.

Ok, but I'm not talking about fake stories.

[Anonymous]

Your kid could always use the “additional info” section and just write a couple of sentences (almost what you wrote here) as a statement of fact, NOT an essay - that’s literally what the section is for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:...but has overcome a lot. We live in the richest city in this area. I raised my child as a single Mom and we've both had to survive the instability of Dad who is a repeat-offender, convicted abuser. Add to that that child was diagnosed with a chronic, incompatible-with-life disease at a young age. So everything child has accomplished comes with all that baggage.

Apparently I did a really good job because child does not recognize any of this as challenges that have been overcome. Child has always just excelled and never gives it a second thought. So would absolutely never consider discussing this in an essay.

What would your thoughts be? Child isn't just some rich kid but absolutely might come off as that based simply on geography.

My thoughts would be why are you hung up on this? Your child will likely get into many schools so I'm not sure what your question or concern js regardung this situation. Many colleges will love to have your child You don't need trauma or a sob story to get into college and you are probably making more assumptions about where you live than college admissions officers are or will be.

[Anonymous]

Agree that every child and every person has serious challenges in life, even if they have money. This is the nature of life. My child has an ongoing medical condition that requires traveling for doctors appointments several times per year and missing school for those visits and a daily treatment plan that requires dosing several times per day and restricts activity in the evening.
Plus other family stuff.
DC not mentioning these things in apps. Counselor offered to write how DC did well academically despite all this but DC preferred not to have it mentioned.

The point is every single kid has challenges that they may not talk about. Your kid’s choice whether they want to or not but the challenges you describe are far from unique.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:...but has overcome a lot. We live in the richest city in this area. I raised my child as a single Mom and we've both had to survive the instability of Dad who is a repeat-offender, convicted abuser. Add to that that child was diagnosed with a chronic, incompatible-with-life disease at a young age. So everything child has accomplished comes with all that baggage.

Apparently I did a really good job because child does not recognize any of this as challenges that have been overcome. Child has always just excelled and never gives it a second thought. So would absolutely never consider discussing this in an essay.

What would your thoughts be? Child isn't just some rich kid but absolutely might come off as that based simply on geography.

My thought was she better learn to spell “privilege” correctly so if she uses it in her essay, she uses the correct spelling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What disease is incompatible with life but yet the host lives to 18+ and can attend college??

You've never met someone with type I diabetes have you? Make a mistake with insulin and you're dead pretty quick. Lots of people live with diseases like that.

Something that's treatable is not usually considered incompatible with life. If that's what OP's child has, they are right to reject such dramatic language.

[Anonymous]

This is info that can go in the counselor letter. GL!

[Anonymous]

Privileged people can have challenges. That doesn’t make them not privileged.

[Anonymous]

Most schools are likely to prefer full pay students so your zip code may be a plus. Even true for the wealthiest schools due to recent research funding cutbacks by the federal government.