Are middle schoolers generally awful to each other?

[Anonymous]

My DDs have both had a difficult time socially in middle school, including bullying, exclusion, shunning. They happen to be beautiful, smart and kind, with cool girl style, cultural knowledge and taste that has always seemed more mature than their peers. For my older daughter, things got markedly better in 9th, and then even better in 10. In 11th, she now has a large group of girlfriends who are kind, cool, fun and don’t engage pettiness or undermining behavior that was common in middle school. Younger daughter is still in 8th, and it’s been tough.

[Anonymous]

My parents used to dress me funny, but my middle school bullies pointed out the issues and I got that fixed.

[Anonymous]

From your OP, that sounds pretty normal to me for middle schoolers. That's pretty par for the course of how my DS13 talks amongst his friend group and they aren't doing it to be mean. It's just how they talk to each other. My son was used to it as he has an older brother who went through it and they are all still friends in high school.

I would tell him to not be so sensitive to it as I dont think this is bullying. If it gets physical, or if he notices they are only saying these things to him, then get involved.

[Anonymous]

Plus, there's the concept of being able to dish it out but not take it, middle school is good for fixing that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 8th grade ds is having a tough year. Kids are teasing him and making snide remarks to him. He moved from private to public school this year. But he had some friends in town so he knew people. It’s hard for me to tell if he’s being bullied or outcast or if he is just being sensitive to middle schoolers being rude middle schoolers. Like he said he will say things and some rude boys will say, “no one cares” some girl called him “Billy badass” today in response to something he said. I can’t tell if this is normal

This is a compliment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I'm not excusing it, and I hope my 7th grader is kind (we talk a lot about it) but as a group they are awful.

The best path is to get him into an activity where he has or can make friends and positive interactions, so that school isn't his only social time.

Yes - they truly are awful in to each other in the DMV. I know from my own kids (now in HS). They even went to one of thr “better” middle schools.

[Anonymous]

Those who doubt the bad behavior should look at this thread:

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1297134.page

My son experienced similar problems. Kids even wrote horrible, racist things in his 8th grade yearbook.

[Anonymous]

Pretty common. All the boys are horrible to each other. I think DS is the only one who is kind and nice to others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I'm not excusing it, and I hope my 7th grader is kind (we talk a lot about it) but as a group they are awful.

The best path is to get him into an activity where he has or can make friends and positive interactions, so that school isn't his only social time.

It’s good that you talk about it. It’s the parents who don’t talk about that usually have issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes middle schoolers can be really awful. It’s a terrible age for group dynamics. It makes you feel bad about humanity.

It gets better. Hang in there.

No it doesn’t b

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 8th grade ds is having a tough year. Kids are teasing him and making snide remarks to him. He moved from private to public school this year. But he had some friends in town so he knew people. It’s hard for me to tell if he’s being bullied or outcast or if he is just being sensitive to middle schoolers being rude middle schoolers. Like he said he will say things and some rude boys will say, “no one cares” some girl called him “Billy badass” today in response to something he said. I can’t tell if this is normal

That's a compliment!
She probably likes him.
Learn to, and then teach him to, learn to roll with it. You both sound very sensitive, which people will pick up on that and tease you both even worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pretty common. All the boys are horrible to each other. I think DS is the only one who is kind and nice to others.

Every parent wants to think and believe that. You just don't know or don't want to know how you own kid is when you aren't around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pretty common. All the boys are horrible to each other. I think DS is the only one who is kind and nice to others.

Same with our DS.

He said he personally witnessed 2 fist-fights in MS. At the 2nd one, the ring of students watching the fight not only did not intervene, some kid started saying he was taking bets on who would win.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pretty common. All the boys are horrible to each other. I think DS is the only one who is kind and nice to others.

Same with our DS.

He said he personally witnessed 2 fist-fights in MS. At the 2nd one, the ring of students watching the fight not only did not intervene, some kid started saying he was taking bets on who would win.

That's good. Nothing worse than those types who always try to interject themselves in other people's affairs.

Only time spectators should get involved in a fight is if one person goes limp and knocked out, and the other person is still beating them. Then they should pull off the winner and let them cool off and the unconcious person gather themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pretty common. All the boys are horrible to each other. I think DS is the only one who is kind and nice to others.

Same with our DS.

He said he personally witnessed 2 fist-fights in MS. At the 2nd one, the ring of students watching the fight not only did not intervene, some kid started saying he was taking bets on who would win.

That's good. Nothing worse than those types who always try to interject themselves in other people's affairs.

Only time spectators should get involved in a fight is if one person goes limp and knocked out, and the other person is still beating them. Then they should pull off the winner and let them cool off and the unconcious person gather themselves.

That's assuming that both parties are willing participants and a kid wasn't jumped, correct?