Unemployed ex- Should I look for another job or stay put?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here- he doesn't pay me child support at all (not even when employed) and he's not getting unemployment benefits which leads me to believe he was fired.

Lots of people get fired for no fault. Do you share custody?

Yes, we share custody.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What would I do? Not have a kid with someone I don’t want to be with.

I am so sorry for whatever pain and shame you’re carrying that would have you send hateful messages like this to a mom who is working her ass off.

I will send you love,
Stranger, for whatever it is that makes you feel so spiteful and ashamed.

[Anonymous]

Just a thought to add to the mix as you consider options. For at
Least the next 6-8 years you have summer camp bills for as many as 10 weeks a year a kid. It’s not cheap. It may be less than daycare, but you’re not home free.

Good luck with your decision. Personally after having been through a few years of a toxic environment after which I moved to an amazing one, I’d try to stay put. But you have more to consider than I do.

Sorry that things blew up for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Since he isn't working, can't dad do the childcare during the week?

Think about it.

If you were the parent who lost the job, wouldn't you pull your kid from daycare and keep them home with you, so you could enjoy this precious time with your child during the best years of parenting?

Why can't he do the same?

Even if it was only part time, it would save quite a bit on daycare.

Why can’t a divorced parent lose their job, end their financial obligations and get extra time with the children while the ex spouse works? Think hard on this

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand why your kids can’t be on CHiP for free?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He can easily get a $4k job with no experience working at nights and weekends in a restaurant and/or lunches.
You also have an option to take the kids out of daycare if he wants to be at home and work nights.
As a parent, I'd work two jobs and keep the kids in daycare.
Lots of options, but I doubt he is willing to work that much.

If he works nights, he will need to sleep during the day. As someone who used to work the graveyard shift, it annoys me how people assume that people who work night just don't need to sleep, ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand why your kids can’t be on CHiP for free?

OP makes $130k. It's unlikely they qualify.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand why your kids can’t be on CHiP for free?

The income limit is $60k

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just a thought to add to the mix as you consider options. For at
Least the next 6-8 years you have summer camp bills for as many as 10 weeks a year a kid. It’s not cheap. It may be less than daycare, but you’re not home free.

Good luck with your decision. Personally after having been through a few years of a toxic environment after which I moved to an amazing one, I’d try to stay put. But you have more to consider than I do.

Sorry that things blew up for you.

Yes, summer camp for our two kids is $6k per summer. Daycare right now is $24k per year so still a significant reductions in childcare costs.

[Anonymous]

Stay, for the best work balance and support.
You will need more flex when your kids get older. More sports, activities so pickup etc ..
Listen, you need to live like you are completely on your own once you are divorced. You have no control on what EX does, you got this! Can he do cobra for the next 18 months?

[Anonymous]

You were saving $3100 a month on a $130K salary and kids? That’s impressive!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You were saving $3100 a month on a $130K salary and kids? That’s impressive!

Not saving it all as some of that was used for vacations, fun money with thr kids, etc but basically that was my buffer for non-neccessities. I could have saved that if I needed to.

[Anonymous]

Stay put in your job! The last thing you need is a big move in the middle of a crisis. If anything, seek advancement at your current workplace since you enjoy working there.

Paying for daycare solo sucks but you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I agree your husband should be providing childcare while unemployed but not if drinking or in a mental health crisis. Only you can judge the best move there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here- he doesn't pay me child support at all (not even when employed) and he's not getting unemployment benefits which leads me to believe he was fired.

But he was paying child support in the form of insurance and helping with childcare.

If he got severance he should be still contributing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since he isn't working, can't dad do the childcare during the week?

Think about it.

If you were the parent who lost the job, wouldn't you pull your kid from daycare and keep them home with you, so you could enjoy this precious time with your child during the best years of parenting?

Why can't he do the same?

Even if it was only part time, it would save quite a bit on daycare.

Why can’t a divorced parent lose their job, end their financial obligations and get extra time with the children while the ex spouse works? Think hard on this

What's your point, that only married people are allowed to be stay-at-home parents?