Is my sister being rude or is this normal new parent behavior?

[Anonymous]

I get it, OP. Some newish/first-time parents are better than others at talking about things other than related to their kid. But some are like your sister. You just have to hang in there. If there’s any way to see her without her child around, like if there’s another adult who can watch her, you can go out and have some alone time with your sister. But otherwise, it’s going to be like this for a while. If you have something specific you would like to talk to her about, maybe you can let her know in advance? “I’d love to get your advice about something when I come over” or whatever.

[Anonymous]

The only rude part is her on her phone after her kid goes to bed (assuming you are still there).

[Anonymous]

As a young mom there is no way I could have concentrated on much with my active toddlers right there. I don't have a sister but on Saturdays I had friend time and dh would take over for a few hours and then I actively disconnected and focused on the friend(s), meal, movie. That might be a good compromise. Even going for a walk together with toddler in stroller would be better. As for the phone, she's a tired mom at the end of the day, of course socializing, even with you, is an effort when drained.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The only rude part is her on her phone after her kid goes to bed (assuming you are still there).

+1 if you were there and trying to have a conversation with her then this is rude.

The other things aren’t necessarily rude. But what she is, is boring if all she can talk about is what her two year-old is doing. People should be capable of watching their children and having a conversation, even if it might be a little jagged because she has to run after her kid to redirect them. I think understanding on both of your sides is needed.

[Anonymous]

I agree that if you are hanging out WITH the toddler present, it will always be focused on the toddler. I do think you are allowed to miss having quality time with your sister. She probably won’t have a lot of bandwidth while the kids are young. I mostly kept up with my sisters and SIL by text at this stage, and as kids got older we had more time and space for better interaction.

[Anonymous]

It is pretty normal, but hard for non-patents to understand/tolerate .

Perhaps you can say something like, “I miss our girl time, let’s go to a happy hour while Larlo (=the father, or her mother) watches the baby?”

Such occasions would be rare though. It is just not her life anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Two year olds are a LOT.

Why don't you have kids? Do you want them? Not want them? Are you jealous?

OMG! You sound like a trad wife PP.

[Anonymous]

Tbh, I lost some friendships when I had my first. They were also childless and were clueless how much energy, time, and effort a baby/toddler takes. I simply didn't have energy to then pay attention to THEM that they were so craving. A new parents' life revolves around their kid and it's normal. Unfortunately childless adults in their mid-30s become a bit too much with their demands that THEY be the center of attention. What adult conversations? Complaining about your job, boyfriend, politics? As a new parent, one doesn't care about any of this. I've had heard it all already and had other priorities. Interestingly, as also evident in this post, paying attention to the baby/toddler is somehow too much. In reality, it's baby's/toddler's turn now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tbh, I lost some friendships when I had my first. They were also childless and were clueless how much energy, time, and effort a baby/toddler takes. I simply didn't have energy to then pay attention to THEM that they were so craving. A new parents' life revolves around their kid and it's normal. Unfortunately childless adults in their mid-30s become a bit too much with their demands that THEY be the center of attention. What adult conversations? Complaining about your job, boyfriend, politics? As a new parent, one doesn't care about any of this. I've had heard it all already and had other priorities. Interestingly, as also evident in this post, paying attention to the baby/toddler is somehow too much. In reality, it's baby's/toddler's turn now.

Perfect example of smug, boring parental outlook.

[Anonymous]

The purpose of a being is to reproduce.

Her child is far more important to her than you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tbh, I lost some friendships when I had my first. They were also childless and were clueless how much energy, time, and effort a baby/toddler takes. I simply didn't have energy to then pay attention to THEM that they were so craving. A new parents' life revolves around their kid and it's normal. Unfortunately childless adults in their mid-30s become a bit too much with their demands that THEY be the center of attention. What adult conversations? Complaining about your job, boyfriend, politics? As a new parent, one doesn't care about any of this. I've had heard it all already and had other priorities. Interestingly, as also evident in this post, paying attention to the baby/toddler is somehow too much. In reality, it's baby's/toddler's turn now.

Perfect example of smug, boring parental outlook.

Well, my priority is my children, OK? If yours is not, then sorry for your kids. The OP is craving attention, she says she feels invisible. Nobody cares about the invisibility of 30-something childless boring Karens. Maybe find something to occupy yourself with, instead of seeking attention from young parents?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tbh, I lost some friendships when I had my first. They were also childless and were clueless how much energy, time, and effort a baby/toddler takes. I simply didn't have energy to then pay attention to THEM that they were so craving. A new parents' life revolves around their kid and it's normal. Unfortunately childless adults in their mid-30s become a bit too much with their demands that THEY be the center of attention. What adult conversations? Complaining about your job, boyfriend, politics? As a new parent, one doesn't care about any of this. I've had heard it all already and had other priorities. Interestingly, as also evident in this post, paying attention to the baby/toddler is somehow too much. In reality, it's baby's/toddler's turn now.

Perfect example of smug, boring parental outlook.

Well, then I guess it's no big loss if we're so smug and awful and boring! You won't miss us. Congrats on your superiority.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tbh, I lost some friendships when I had my first. They were also childless and were clueless how much energy, time, and effort a baby/toddler takes. I simply didn't have energy to then pay attention to THEM that they were so craving. A new parents' life revolves around their kid and it's normal. Unfortunately childless adults in their mid-30s become a bit too much with their demands that THEY be the center of attention. What adult conversations? Complaining about your job, boyfriend, politics? As a new parent, one doesn't care about any of this. I've had heard it all already and had other priorities. Interestingly, as also evident in this post, paying attention to the baby/toddler is somehow too much. In reality, it's baby's/toddler's turn now.

Perfect example of smug, boring parental outlook.

Well, then I guess it's no big loss if we're so smug and awful and boring! You won't miss us. Congrats on your superiority.

Well, it's you who's seeking attention and complaining that you don't get any. Nobody has said anything about missing you. The young mom's hands are full at this point. You seem to have issues. Having to parent babies/toddlers is not superior, it's a difficult time where the attention goes to babies/toddlers and not to you. As an adult, you should be able to entertain yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tbh, I lost some friendships when I had my first. They were also childless and were clueless how much energy, time, and effort a baby/toddler takes. I simply didn't have energy to then pay attention to THEM that they were so craving. A new parents' life revolves around their kid and it's normal. Unfortunately childless adults in their mid-30s become a bit too much with their demands that THEY be the center of attention. What adult conversations? Complaining about your job, boyfriend, politics? As a new parent, one doesn't care about any of this. I've had heard it all already and had other priorities. Interestingly, as also evident in this post, paying attention to the baby/toddler is somehow too much. In reality, it's baby's/toddler's turn now.

Yes, we know. You’re focused on much more compelling subjects, like the color and consistency of your child’s shit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tbh, I lost some friendships when I had my first. They were also childless and were clueless how much energy, time, and effort a baby/toddler takes. I simply didn't have energy to then pay attention to THEM that they were so craving. A new parents' life revolves around their kid and it's normal. Unfortunately childless adults in their mid-30s become a bit too much with their demands that THEY be the center of attention. What adult conversations? Complaining about your job, boyfriend, politics? As a new parent, one doesn't care about any of this. I've had heard it all already and had other priorities. Interestingly, as also evident in this post, paying attention to the baby/toddler is somehow too much. In reality, it's baby's/toddler's turn now.

Perfect example of smug, boring parental outlook.

Well, then I guess it's no big loss if we're so smug and awful and boring! You won't miss us. Congrats on your superiority.

Well, it's you who's seeking attention and complaining that you don't get any. Nobody has said anything about missing you. The young mom's hands are full at this point. You seem to have issues. Having to parent babies/toddlers is not superior, it's a difficult time where the attention goes to babies/toddlers and not to you. As an adult, you should be able to entertain yourself.

I think you’ve lost the plot of who you’re replying to. That can happen when you read nothing more complex than picture books for a few years straight.