Is there more to life than just work?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:sorry to be frank...but you seem to have plenty of time to write up this post. Don't seem too busy to me.

You are not "frank". You are an a55hole.

[Anonymous]

Don't quit. Leverage the work and experience you have already put into this job into finding another job. I would even suggest to move in a lateral position in another company, if the new job location is near where your parents live, so that you can move in with them.

If you are working for 12 hours every day - you are left with 12 more hours in the day.

You have time to only sleep, commute, eat and exercise. In that order. So, you must simplify every thing else during the weekend.

[Anonymous]

In a word no.

Unless you can marry someone who will bankroll your life.

You have a chance to save up enough to compress your work time, if you can build a $10M nest egg, you can never work again after 40.

A lot of my Ivy colleagues did that; I did work that I loved and valued work life balance.

They made the right choice, follow them.

[Anonymous]

Reach out to your parents for help if possible.

I would visit my DS/DS, once every 2-3 weeks to sort out cleaning, laundry, freeze ready to eat meals and generally make things easier for my adult kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I graduated from UIUC with a master's degree in Computer Engineering in December 2024 at the age of 24. When I was studying at UIUC, I had so much free time to regularly pursue hobbies such as working out at the gym, playing pickleball with my friends, and playing guitar and piano. I started my first professional job in January 2025 with an AI company, and I get paid a lot of money. However, I work between twelve and fourteen hours every day, sometimes even on weekends. I have not been to the gym since January, not being able to see my friends, and most importantly, I have neither touched my guitar nor piano instrument for almost ten months. I am always tired when I get home, and do not want to do anything else. I was a very healthy eater in college, but I am not eating healthily these days. The job is also affecting my mental health in a bad way. My girlfriend even broke up with me, because I didn't spend enough time with her.

I know that I am very fortunate to be working and getting paid a lot of money for it. There are so many people in tech like me who are currently unemployed. However, the job is affecting me both physically and mentally. I have been looking for a job that is much less stressful than this one for the past six months without much luck. One of my colleagues asked for a month of absence, and was told no. He quit one week after that.

My parents told me that I should quit this job and move back home to live with them for as long as I wanted, until I could find a new job. I am just afraid that I will not be able to find another job if I quit my current job. Thank you very much for listening.

My cousin’s son left epic with very similar logic… he was unemployed over a year and regretted it deeply.

[Anonymous]

I think most new grads go through something like this. College was incredible and then… you work 8-9 hours a day and have an hour commute (30 each way is average).

I had figured it out, leveled up, had two kids with a nice balance. Then covid hit and the balance became even easier as a remote worker so we had a 3rd kid. Went back to work 50% and still managed but it wasn’t great. And then with Trump, 0 telework days and the shit hit the fan. We can’t keep our current lives going. Sadly we definitely wouldn’t have had any kids if we knew our lives would be like this. No one is currently hiring, not even for advanced stem diplomas.

There’s a balance out there somewhere. For me it was a short commute (involved a move), taking less pay so that I left work after 8-9 hours, and then at least 2/5 days of telework.

Once you put your dues in and level up, can you scale back your hours? I have been working for 15 years and I can get done in 8 hours what it takes others 12 hours to do. I just know what I’m doing and know what to do with any problems I encounter.

[Anonymous]

Build up your stamina. You just started. Where's the money? I hope you invested every penny since January.

[Anonymous]

You should plan to stay another 6 months at least.

Start looking for jobs with implementers of AI. Maybe Microsoft?

If you are at a company that's creating AI software, you may be in the most miserable place for the highest pay.

Also read the contrarian author below. Be alert to evidence of a bubble popping in your vicinity.

https://www.wheresyoured.at/the-case-against-generative-ai/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't quit. You are too new and young to be burnt out. Work on ways to establish balance. Find pockets of time to use for your hobbies. Sign off work earlier. Say no to weekend projects.

And look for another role, but dont leave your current job. Think of how you would explain that to a potential next employer. Gaps in resumes are not viewed favorable. It will be assumed you were fired. Keep your current job while you try to find a new one.

+1

Work on work/life balance within your current job. Save as much $$ as you can (sounds like you are if you work 12-14 hour days, you don't have time to spend on anything except food and rent). And search for a new job, but don't leave your current job without a new one. Gaps in employment at such a young age do not look good (and it's difficult to find jobs in your area now).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do NOT quit.

If you are making really good money, then outsource as much as you can: grocery shopping, cleaning, laundry service. If you want home cooked food, find a local home chef that will deliver meals to you on a weekly basis. When you do takeout or restaurant food, make better choices.

Pick the couple of leisure activities that mean the most to you, and make time for those. Be sure to get out into nature regularly. Become more efficient about your downtime. Less scrolling, less puttering around doing nothing.

Being a working adult is hard. If you want to make money and build a successful career, you have to pay your dues with longer hours and less fun. This is a phase in life. Build success and you will be able to get jobs with better work-life balance while still getting paid well.

+1

Most adults who do "really well in life" work more than 8 hour days. As you move up in management/get to the C suite, you often work 10-12 hour days, many times your evenings or weekends are interrupted with work issues that you have to address. And with global companies, it is sometimes even worse---half your team could be 8-10 hours different time zone, and you have to help support them if major issues happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I graduated from UIUC with a master's degree in Computer Engineering in December 2024 at the age of 24. When I was studying at UIUC, I had so much free time to regularly pursue hobbies such as working out at the gym, playing pickleball with my friends, and playing guitar and piano. I started my first professional job in January 2025 with an AI company, and I get paid a lot of money. However, I work between twelve and fourteen hours every day, sometimes even on weekends. I have not been to the gym since January, not being able to see my friends, and most importantly, I have neither touched my guitar nor piano instrument for almost ten months. I am always tired when I get home, and do not want to do anything else. I was a very healthy eater in college, but I am not eating healthily these days. The job is also affecting my mental health in a bad way. My girlfriend even broke up with me, because I didn't spend enough time with her.

I know that I am very fortunate to be working and getting paid a lot of money for it. There are so many people in tech like me who are currently unemployed. However, the job is affecting me both physically and mentally. I have been looking for a job that is much less stressful than this one for the past six months without much luck. One of my colleagues asked for a month of absence, and was told no. He quit one week after that.

My parents told me that I should quit this job and move back home to live with them for as long as I wanted, until I could find a new job. I am just afraid that I will not be able to find another job if I quit my current job. Thank you very much for listening.

My cousin’s son left epic with very similar logic… he was unemployed over a year and regretted it deeply.

At Epic or any company as a software Developer, you will work long hours, they will work you hard. It's part of the job, especially starting out. It's up to you to put in the time and build your experiences so you can move onto a job that isn't quite as intense/time consuming.
Even the "Not software devs" at EPIc have to do work life balance. But it's entirely possible for them to do so---sure there are some that put in 12-14 hour days. They get better bonuses, and do well. But in reality, most are still at the same level of job as those who work 8-9 hour days, with extra days when really needed as projects complete. They make the same per hour basically, it's just some are working 12 hour days, and spend part of their weekends working as well, and the others are happy to put in the 40-50 hour weeks, extra when really needed and take mid-level bonuses. You do have a choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you automate some of the tasks they are making you do? No one should be working such long hours if they are efficient.

No, that's not how the AI industry works. They want you pulling 996 = 9 am to 9 pm, six days a week. In other words, it’s a 72-hour work week.

https://www.wired.com/story/silicon-valley-china-996-work-schedule/

OP, you are still young. Cut your teeth where you are. Stay for a year, then find something less stressful.

You sound just like my DC, down to the gym, playing guitar/piano. DC is probably headed in your direction, and they know that the first couple of years is going to be rough. They have always said they wanted work/life balance. We told DC to use the first few years to pad the resume, then go somewhere that gives you more work life balance.

I do fear that DC will get burnt out early, too. They have had one internship after another, while maintaining a 4.0 as a dual math/CS major.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I graduated from UIUC with a master's degree in Computer Engineering in December 2024 at the age of 24. When I was studying at UIUC, I had so much free time to regularly pursue hobbies such as working out at the gym, playing pickleball with my friends, and playing guitar and piano. I started my first professional job in January 2025 with an AI company, and I get paid a lot of money. However, I work between twelve and fourteen hours every day, sometimes even on weekends. I have not been to the gym since January, not being able to see my friends, and most importantly, I have neither touched my guitar nor piano instrument for almost ten months. I am always tired when I get home, and do not want to do anything else. I was a very healthy eater in college, but I am not eating healthily these days. The job is also affecting my mental health in a bad way. My girlfriend even broke up with me, because I didn't spend enough time with her.

I know that I am very fortunate to be working and getting paid a lot of money for it. There are so many people in tech like me who are currently unemployed. However, the job is affecting me both physically and mentally. I have been looking for a job that is much less stressful than this one for the past six months without much luck. One of my colleagues asked for a month of absence, and was told no. He quit one week after that.

My parents told me that I should quit this job and move back home to live with them for as long as I wanted, until I could find a new job. I am just afraid that I will not be able to find another job if I quit my current job. Thank you very much for listening.

the nature of software development is a series of "death marches". try to take some breaks to recover.

also it would be much better if we did not have overwhelming immigration of cheap labor. companies learn how to exploit workers when there is a huge supply.

The “cheap labor” are not doing OP’s job (unless they are in places like India, in which case they are not immigrants).

[Anonymous]

Also, remember that you went from college where your class-mates, room-mates, dorm-mates were also your friends and there was a whole lot of socializing happening at all times, to total social isolation and no friends when you entered the job market.

At your workplace, you will find that you have no friends. It is not a place to socialize. Your most valuable hours of the day is going towards working. Coworkers have their own life and are of different ages and life stages. You go from having tons of friends being endlessly available to socialize with you 24/7, to not having a single young person to talk to. It is horrible.

So, you have to understand if it is just a work situation or it is work + fresh out of college + breakup with girlfriend + not settled home/family + no social life and friends situation.

I am not minimizing the fact that you are working long hours and have no work-life balance. That is a reality too.

My only advice is to live with roommates, as frugally as you can and bank as much money as you can. Your situation is the normal situation in USA for new grads. Other countries are truly not that sucky.

[Anonymous]

How much do you get paid? Are you making at least $300k and/or a lot of equity in a promising AI company? Then stick it out for a couple more years, otherwise change jobs asap. You need to think of your career as a marathon. If you get burned out and shocked by 14 hour days at 26 you impact your earning trajectory for the rest of your career. In the early years you want to stretch yourself, not traumatize yourself. No clue how someone can do intellectual work for 12-14 hours a day, 4-5 max, anything beyond that is useless work.