Is there more to life than just work?
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Anonymous
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I graduated from UIUC with a master's degree in Computer Engineering in December 2024 at the age of 24. When I was studying at UIUC, I had so much free time to regularly pursue hobbies such as working out at the gym, playing pickleball with my friends, and playing guitar and piano. I started my first professional job in January 2025 with an AI company, and I get paid a lot of money. However, I work between twelve and fourteen hours every day, sometimes even on weekends. I have not been to the gym since January, not being able to see my friends, and most importantly, I have neither touched my guitar nor piano instrument for almost ten months. I am always tired when I get home, and do not want to do anything else. I was a very healthy eater in college, but I am not eating healthily these days. The job is also affecting my mental health in a bad way. My girlfriend even broke up with me, because I didn't spend enough time with her.
I know that I am very fortunate to be working and getting paid a lot of money for it. There are so many people in tech like me who are currently unemployed. However, the job is affecting me both physically and mentally. I have been looking for a job that is much less stressful than this one for the past six months without much luck. One of my colleagues asked for a month of absence, and was told no. He quit one week after that. My parents told me that I should quit this job and move back home to live with them for as long as I wanted, until I could find a new job. I am just afraid that I will not be able to find another job if I quit my current job. Thank you very much for listening. |
Anonymous
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I wouldn't quit. You are too new and young to be burnt out. Work on ways to establish balance. Find pockets of time to use for your hobbies. Sign off work earlier. Say no to weekend projects.
And look for another role, but dont leave your current job. Think of how you would explain that to a potential next employer. Gaps in resumes are not viewed favorable. It will be assumed you were fired. Keep your current job while you try to find a new one. |
Anonymous
OP I have kids almost your age and am struck that I hear this type of comment often. You worked hard in school I'm sure to get where you are. You started what appeared to be a dream job, one certainly matching up with your education and training which is more than a lot of first time job seekers can say, and here you are. Wow. You have to work hard. I think you're trying to solve this by looking at extremes. You know you're in over your head now with this pace of life, but quitting and going home to your parents is not the solution either. That would be a major step backwards. The first major question is, outside of the insane hours and amount you're working: do you LIKE the job? Are you learning things? Do you like the people you work with? Is this the type of path and job you want to continue on, judging only by the work itself? |
Anonymous
| Start to look for a new job when you hit the one year mark but don't quit till you get the job. Move on when you get it. You've learned a good lesson. You can do the grind but it means you give up a lot. But you have succeeded at it so far, so take that as a win. It may take a few months to get the next job but focus on that as a goal, something to look forward to and let it be something to keep your spirits up--a better future. You now have this experience on your resume and that's good. Keep your plans to yourself at the workplace but go on making them. |
Anonymous
the nature of software development is a series of "death marches". try to take some breaks to recover. also it would be much better if we did not have overwhelming immigration of cheap labor. companies learn how to exploit workers when there is a huge supply. |
Anonymous
| Look for another job. One that's 8 hrs a day then you'll have plenty of time. But it may be less $ |
Anonymous
| sorry to be frank...but you seem to have plenty of time to write up this post. Don't seem too busy to me. |
Anonymous
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Life is also much more than playing pickleball, piano, and guitar, and working out. You need $ in order to afford a certain quality of life. Most people realize that maximizing employment potential early on in a career is key to achieving a higher income and more job satisfaction sooner rather than later. Applying the brakes early will give you more free time, and a permanently impaired earning capacity, which will impact you for the rest of your life.
Maybe you're a person who can be content with little $; I'm told they exist. Most people, however, prefer more $ to less, and find a way to balance the requirements of a demanding professional life against a reasonable amount of leisure. Early on, leisure should take a back seat in that juggling act, but should still be there even if at a modest level. Over time, as you become wealthier and more financially secure, you can slowly change the relative balance of work to leisure, and your leisure time will be enhanced by your greater wealth - you can have nicer possessions, nicer vacations, and more financial security. That last consideration is arguably the most important of all. It may enable you to retire earlier than would otherwise have been possible, at which point your quality of life could potentially increase exponentially when compared to needing to work many more years because you took a professional off-ramp early on and were permanently relegated to a lower level of income and, probably, job satisfaction. I certainly was happier at work the higher i rose in the organization - money, respect, power, flexibility, all come with professional achievement. You can tell other people what to do, instead of always being on the receiving end. |
Anonymous
| Can you automate some of the tasks they are making you do? No one should be working such long hours if they are efficient. |
Anonymous
Sorry to be frank ...you sound like an idiot. There is a difference between taking 1 min to write a post and having enough time to be able to enjoy your life outside of work. If you're truly not able to understand the difference, I'm concerned. |
Anonymous
You can always reset your life, more so if parents can house you during this transition. We've made tied our existence to our jobs and feel like our job titles are our identity. |
Anonymous
Easier to say. If you've ADHD or if you are mediocre, indecisive, not well trained then it takes much longer to do things well. |
Anonymous
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Do NOT quit.
If you are making really good money, then outsource as much as you can: grocery shopping, cleaning, laundry service. If you want home cooked food, find a local home chef that will deliver meals to you on a weekly basis. When you do takeout or restaurant food, make better choices. Pick the couple of leisure activities that mean the most to you, and make time for those. Be sure to get out into nature regularly. Become more efficient about your downtime. Less scrolling, less puttering around doing nothing. Being a working adult is hard. If you want to make money and build a successful career, you have to pay your dues with longer hours and less fun. This is a phase in life. Build success and you will be able to get jobs with better work-life balance while still getting paid well. |
Anonymous
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What hours do your colleagues work? Are you virtual or in an office with other people?
Do you have deliverables or projects with due dates? Do those dates obviously require 12x7 workweeks or are you not up to speed yet? |
Anonymous
| Don't quit but look for other jobs. If you can, observe your coworkers. Do those on your level have the same hours and same stress as you? Are those that have been there the same time as you at the same level still and doing the same thing? What's needed to get to the next step up? Does that have a better work life balance? |