Sorority Rush: THIS ISN’T DUBAI; IT’S TUSCALOOSA Whose daddy is paying for all this?

Anonymous
I haven't read the article but does that author provide some basis for asserting that families in Alabama don't have money? With the very LCOL and generational family wealth, city jobs, etc I'm not surprised at all. Especially if this is a priority over what DCUM would value like international travel, private school, etc.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I was also in a sorority at a private college. What we are seeing with Bama rush and other similar schools is completely different. It's not the same experience many of us had.

I wonder if it's the same at large, northern schools like Penn State, Michigan and Ohio State (basically all Big10, except Indiana b/c I have heard that one is brutal).


NO way. My dh went to a big school like the ones you named and was in a fraternity. I visited him from my SEC school where I was in a sorority. Those sororities were so laid back. Nothing like what mine was like with a specified dress code for every day of rush.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:My son played baseball at a SEC school in 2010s. He had a girlfriend for his first two years in college. They met in class; she was his lab partner. They broke-up at the start of their junior year, as she was was doing study abroad and they thought it would be too difficult to maintain the relationship. During my son's junior year, he was single and also drafted (*later rounds) by a MLB team. Several sorority women became very interested in him. He did some dating but he found that it was too intense and one person he dated for a couple of months started talking about marriage.

He is somewhat of an introvert and some of the social aspects of dating someone in a sorority wasn't for him. He felt he was on display at times. His senior year, he took a break from dating. He suffered a serious injury during training in the summer and spent the fall focusing on recovery and preparing for the MCATs. His baseball career was pretty much over.



Are you on the wrong thread?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Didn’t read the article, but the wealth at Alabama is shocking - families with private planes, kids with Porsches, etc.


Why is it shocking? Because the underlying assumption is that rich people should go somewhere else? Or that you're shocked to know that everyone in Alabama isn't a dirt poor hick?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I also was in a sorority at a top 10 private school. I loved it. All of it. I am now a biglaw partner.

Don’t make women have to choose. Don’t make assumptions. Don’t pigeon hole them.


Would you tell us more about what was great about the experience? I think a lot of us on this board don't have experience with sorority life and are basing our fears off of assumptions.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Didn’t read the article, but the wealth at Alabama is shocking - families with private planes, kids with Porsches, etc.


Why is it shocking? Because the underlying assumption is that rich people should go somewhere else? Or that you're shocked to know that everyone in Alabama isn't a dirt poor hick?


More than the outfits these girls are wearing are akin to large homes in the DMV mortgages. Like 5-10k. Its OBSCENE. Again, not the location but the obvious wealth disparity we have in this coutry. But I am sure all those kids believe they get hired or their future husbands will get hired because of merit, and not connections.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I also was in a sorority at a top 10 private school. I loved it. All of it. I am now a biglaw partner.

Don’t make women have to choose. Don’t make assumptions. Don’t pigeon hole them.


Would you tell us more about what was great about the experience? I think a lot of us on this board don't have experience with sorority life and are basing our fears off of assumptions.


I moved very far away and went to a university where I knew no one. Back then no social media. I maybe talked to my parents 1-2x a month. I visited home for Xmas break only. And then only after freshman summer.

After rushing, I found a group of socially minded, active student leaders - women active in many campus organizations with leadership roles. Seniors who had jobs in banking, consulting, and were headed to law school and grad school. Very accomplished people who helped underclassmen join clubs, find internship opportunities, and advised on professors and classes. Things my 1st gen parents couldn't help with.

We had "date parties" with fraternities and fundraisers for St. Jude's - when I look at my photos, we weren't scantily clad - if anything, we were covered in LL Bean flannels and barn coats. From head to toe. Yes, it was a different time, but those close friendships endure today (I still text/talk with my closest friends from my "sorority" a few times a week!! and we don't live in the same city). It's a bond that you form at age 18-20, which can be so formative and enduring. You are learning who you are. And who you want to be.

Many of those women are very successful and accomplished businesspeople (in private equity, consulting, banking, law, PR, communications, academia, and more). Some have retired. But the friendships and our memories in that house are more than drinking (which was a minuscule part of it) - it's dancing in your PJs in a house of 60 girls, eating together, face masks, watching soap operas, and Friends in the TV room. While every "sister" wasn't a best friend, the house was welcoming and felt like my home away from home. Where I could just be me. No makeup.
If you come from a big family, I'd describe it as being with a lot of female cousins all the time.

I ended up with a leadership opportunity in Greek life at university. All in all, it was one of the best experiences of my life. And showed me how to maintain female friends for decades. It had very little to do with the "boys" or fraternities, except for freshman year parties, and then date parties every month or so in sophomore/junior year. By senior year, we hung with the seniors and had leadership roles. Didn't attend most of the parties with the frats.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I also was in a sorority at a top 10 private school. I loved it. All of it. I am now a biglaw partner.

Don’t make women have to choose. Don’t make assumptions. Don’t pigeon hole them.

Agreed. True feminism is supporting women in all of their choices. I loved my sorority years. I still remember what I wore for rush every single day. My parents were pretty wealthy but I purchased it all myself from my summer internship money.


How old are you and how do you still recall "exactly what you wore"?
I cannot recall what I wore to work last week, let alone what I wore when I was 18 for 10 days
I have more important things to put in my memory with great details
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Didn’t read the article, but the wealth at Alabama is shocking - families with private planes, kids with Porsches, etc.


Why is it shocking? Because the underlying assumption is that rich people should go somewhere else? Or that you're shocked to know that everyone in Alabama isn't a dirt poor hick?


More than the outfits these girls are wearing are akin to large homes in the DMV mortgages. Like 5-10k. Its OBSCENE. Again, not the location but the obvious wealth disparity we have in this coutry. But I am sure all those kids believe they get hired or their future husbands will get hired because of merit, and not connections.


They don’t care if they are hired on merit, that’s not their culture.

Not everyone is obsessed with meritocracy like Panicking Class people are.

OF COURSE you get a job or the right spouse on connections, that’s why the right Greek House is important.

Socially, these outfits are the equivalent of paying for a tutor or college counselor.

Did you really think people are plowing money into this with zero ROI?

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Didn’t read the article, but the wealth at Alabama is shocking - families with private planes, kids with Porsches, etc.


Why is it shocking? Because the underlying assumption is that rich people should go somewhere else? Or that you're shocked to know that everyone in Alabama isn't a dirt poor hick?


More than the outfits these girls are wearing are akin to large homes in the DMV mortgages. Like 5-10k. Its OBSCENE. Again, not the location but the obvious wealth disparity we have in this coutry. But I am sure all those kids believe they get hired or their future husbands will get hired because of merit, and not connections.


They don’t care if they are hired on merit, that’s not their culture.

Not everyone is obsessed with meritocracy like Panicking Class people are.

OF COURSE you get a job or the right spouse on connections, that’s why the right Greek House is important.

Socially, these outfits are the equivalent of paying for a tutor or college counselor.

Did you really think people are plowing money into this with zero ROI?



the outfits/clothes/jewelry are not unique to greek houses. its a product of social media.
Everyone knows about VCA, Cartier, Goyard, GG, Alo, etc now.

Even schools without Greek houses tend to have an overabundance of "showy" influencer types.
hell, Yale is actively recruiting for these types.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:To answer OP's question, if their family isn't paying, then they could be raising the funds through sugaring arrangements. Very popular among college women.
what’s a sugaring arrangement?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I also was in a sorority at a top 10 private school. I loved it. All of it. I am now a biglaw partner.

Don’t make women have to choose. Don’t make assumptions. Don’t pigeon hole them.

Agreed. True feminism is supporting women in all of their choices. I loved my sorority years. I still remember what I wore for rush every single day. My parents were pretty wealthy but I purchased it all myself from my summer internship money.


I think there's a difference between "no judgment if a college woman wants to join a sorority" and "it seems insane to plan around going to a specific college, getting into a specific sorority, and having your parents spend a quarter mill on clothes, makeup, and other costs associated with your social life so that you can meet someone from the right social strata and be set up for a wealthy life."
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:To answer OP's question, if their family isn't paying, then they could be raising the funds through sugaring arrangements. Very popular among college women.
what’s a sugaring arrangement?


Sugar Daddy. Sugar Baby. Pay for play.

(Just clarifying - not the OP)
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Didn’t read the article, but the wealth at Alabama is shocking - families with private planes, kids with Porsches, etc.


Why is it shocking? Because the underlying assumption is that rich people should go somewhere else? Or that you're shocked to know that everyone in Alabama isn't a dirt poor hick?


More than the outfits these girls are wearing are akin to large homes in the DMV mortgages. Like 5-10k. Its OBSCENE. Again, not the location but the obvious wealth disparity we have in this coutry. But I am sure all those kids believe they get hired or their future husbands will get hired because of merit, and not connections.


Look at your neighbors forking over tens or thousands for private schools. What do you think the point of that is? Surely they are driving past crumbling schools to get to their private bubble. Do you ignore what's in front of your own eyes? Everyone uses connections, you're a liar if you say you don't.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Didn’t read the article, but the wealth at Alabama is shocking - families with private planes, kids with Porsches, etc.


Why is it shocking? Because the underlying assumption is that rich people should go somewhere else? Or that you're shocked to know that everyone in Alabama isn't a dirt poor hick?


More than the outfits these girls are wearing are akin to large homes in the DMV mortgages. Like 5-10k. Its OBSCENE. Again, not the location but the obvious wealth disparity we have in this coutry. But I am sure all those kids believe they get hired or their future husbands will get hired because of merit, and not connections.

That’s just how any decent college is in the US.
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