Tell me about meeting up with an old love years later

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This does not sound like something I would be ok with if I were either spouse in this situation. Why are you doing this?

+100

Midlife affairs don’t happen by accident. They start exactly like this. Know your true motives.

[Anonymous]

We were both single and dated for a year. It was like finishing up old business and then we went our separate ways. It was fun to reconnect but we had both changed a lot in the intervening years. It was not meant to be and I'm glad we didn't try to stay together. I met my husband soon after.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ex fiancee of DH popped up out of nowhere and requested to meet while she was in town. We met her together as a couple at a restaurant. It was very awkward. She was likely prepping for a divorce and was (not too subtly) testing the waters emotionally and financially. We ghosted her right after.
Be careful

Gross

[Anonymous]

She was my first love and a year older…upon advice dumped me when she graduated HS and broke my heart in two. 3 1/2 years later I was full grown, she visited me in college, and we had an epic week of sack time. But it’s true — moving backwards never lives up to the impossible expectations.

Hi Deirdre.

[Anonymous]

We were going to a wedding in a Midwest city where I had lived and I thought it would be fun to reconnect with an old BF…but not a serious one. So on a Saturday morning my husband goes out to play golf and my ex shows up with his wife for breakfast. Awkward! They are now divorced and his new wife has the same first name as me so my husband gives me grief about that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I recently met up with my college girlfriend after about 25 years and it was a very positive experience. There were still powerful feelings there, but they are quite different now—its not about “i want to be with this person” or “I want sex with this person”, but there was a lot of warmth, connection, and shared history to revisit. We had some unanswered questions to talk through and both found it interesting to get the other person’s perspective on things. Not a threat to my marriage in any way, but I could see how it might be destabilizing if there are underlying problems in your marriage. I think a lot of it depends on the quality of the emotional connection you had with the person and the circumstances surrounding the end of the relationship, as well as whether you are actually happy about the person you ended up marrying.

PP I recently met up with my HS ex and I so fully agree with how you described this.

We are both married with kids and we don't live in the same area. We are not in close touch since meeting so it's not unseemly like some PPs are saying. But more like revisiting an important chapter of my own life and how it's shaped me.

[Anonymous]

I don't believe in any of this contacting old lovers stuff. And being married for 30+ years, anybody else is like someone from a different life. Remember meeting people and breakups but not actual dates or other conversations. Interestingly, I do remember sexual episodes.

[Anonymous]

I met up with an ex when I was still single (and lonely) and worried I’d have feelings seeing him. I didn’t - I was a little grossed out I ever found him attractive (breakup was initiated by me because he became a ahole after honeymoon period). But for my other ex, I think the reunion would bring up old feelings even though I also initiated that breakup and would never want him back (I’m also married now). He sent me a voice note once a few years after we broke up and it just brought up some feelings which took me aback).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We were both single and dated for a year. It was like finishing up old business and then we went our separate ways. It was fun to reconnect but we had both changed a lot in the intervening years. It was not meant to be and I'm glad we didn't try to stay together. I met my husband soon after.

Similar experience, though not 1 year-long. She was divorced and we reconnected through a mutual friend from HS.

Agree with PP “it was fun to reconnect,” meaning in our case we had both learned quite a few new tricks and techniques in the bedroom, and she was not at all inhibited in certain ways of having s*x, the wake of her divorce. It wasn’t meant to be, long term, but we remain friends and I’m still nostalgic about how we reconnected in that way.

[Anonymous]

Before I met my husband I briefly reconnected with an old flame who was always in the back of my mind. We talked for a while then hung out. It was nice. He was still a great guy. It was fun to talk about the old days. But there was no spark. It gave me some closure and I was able to move forward and met my husband not long after.

[Anonymous]

There's only one person I would like to see from my past, but we are more like friends. He has been divorced now for several years and asked if I had plans to visit the old country.
Good man, but I doubt I feel attracted. My taste in men has changed.
I like the short and brown while he is tall and blond. And I'd rather meet new people.
We will definitely meet up for drinks and chit-chat, but nothing more hopefully.

[Anonymous]

Yes when I figured out through FB that a past love had divorced I messaged him to say I was sorry that happened. We talked a few times to catch up and he invited me away for a weekend. I felt bad for him that his marriage was finished and I felt good that I was still desirable even from afar but I sent him a final message and we went on with our lives.

[Anonymous]

Bumped into an ex, heart rate probably shot to 160, my mouth went completely dry and I couldn’t put together more than a half a sentence.
We hugged and chatted and then hugged again but much longer before going on our way. I took a huge inhale hoping for the dose of Tresor I was addicted to in 1990 but it wasn’t there. It felt so good to be near her and she still looks great 30 years later.
I went straight home to my wife and told her I needed her.

[Anonymous]

A few months ago I went to my 25th college reunion, without my husband, and I knew my old BF would be there. I hadn’t had any contact with him so I was certainly curious about his life and how I would react to seeing him. He had aged badly having put on a lot of weight and after 15 minutes of conversation I couldn’t help but wonder what I had seen in him so many years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A few months ago I went to my 25th college reunion, without my husband, and I knew my old BF would be there. I hadn’t had any contact with him so I was certainly curious about his life and how I would react to seeing him. He had aged badly having put on a lot of weight and after 15 minutes of conversation I couldn’t help but wonder what I had seen in him so many years ago.

What human being doesn't change after 25 years? He was a different person when you knew him. I have also seen the opposite where the HS or college nerd becomes confident and more attractive.