Tell me about meeting up with an old love years later

[Anonymous]

Have you done it? What happened?

Later this month I'm seeing someone I thought I would marry but we were both too young at the time and broke up 20 years ago. We have kept tabs on each other via the Web and over the last ten years have exchanged emails a few times a year. He is in my country for work for a few months and is coming to my city to see me and sightsee.

Were the feelings still there years later? Or did you think you dodged a bullet and the feelings imploded?

[Anonymous]

Are you single? Married?

[Anonymous]

Moving backwards never works.

[Anonymous]

We are both married. Me mostly happily; him, I don't know. I'm not thinking about sex for this question--just feelings. The old flame and I are both people who live in our heads more than our bodies.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a movie.
Whatever you do, keep a journal, could be a good story to write.

I would love to reconnect with my college boyfriend, I really loved him but for many reasons, it just didn't work out. I wonder too how it would feel and I think I would welcome that experience, nothing physical, just to see how it feels all these years later.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you are gearing up for an epic emotional affair. Enjoy your happy marriage while you can keep it.

[Anonymous]

This does not sound like something I would be ok with if I were either spouse in this situation. Why are you doing this?

[Anonymous]

It really depends on your life stages. Married? Divorced? Still single? Kids / no kids - that all plays into the equation.

[Anonymous]

I knew someone who was happily married and still is who commented that it was still hard for her to see her college boyfriend's wedding and kid pics.

She said she had thought they would get married.

Watch LaLaLand. It covers this. BTW, I really hated it. And especially the end. I only like escapist happy ever afters.

[Anonymous]

I was surprised at how little I felt.

[Anonymous]

I recently met up with my college girlfriend after about 25 years and it was a very positive experience. There were still powerful feelings there, but they are quite different now—its not about “i want to be with this person” or “I want sex with this person”, but there was a lot of warmth, connection, and shared history to revisit. We had some unanswered questions to talk through and both found it interesting to get the other person’s perspective on things. Not a threat to my marriage in any way, but I could see how it might be destabilizing if there are underlying problems in your marriage. I think a lot of it depends on the quality of the emotional connection you had with the person and the circumstances surrounding the end of the relationship, as well as whether you are actually happy about the person you ended up marrying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Moving backwards never works.

This. Don't do it OP.

[Anonymous]

I did it. I was divorcing. He is divorcing now.
We had a five-year affair but only saw each other once a month or so. I ended it two years ago. We both made mistakes from the start marrying the person after we broke up (cultural reason—otherwise we would have married each other). We both had very unhappy marriages from the beginning and both wanted out asap but pregnancy made us stay in each of our marriages: mine was unplanned.

[Anonymous]

Ex fiancee of DH popped up out of nowhere and requested to meet while she was in town. We met her together as a couple at a restaurant. It was very awkward. She was likely prepping for a divorce and was (not too subtly) testing the waters emotionally and financially. We ghosted her right after.
Be careful

[Anonymous]

Jowls happen