If you are an obese adult,

[Anonymous]

Slightly different take on things here - DH is bordering on obese, and the reason is that he grew up poor and "food insecure" (never knew when the next meal would happen, so stuffed himself when food was available). So he never learned to pay attention to his body's cues that he was full, because even if he ate to overfull, that might be good because it could be a day before he had another meal. This translates to an adult who can eat and eat and eat and eat and doesn't have a good grasp on appropriate portion size, although he has been working hard at making better food choices and not mindlessly eating.

[Anonymous]

In my house I was forced to finish all my food - even while only a infant I had to finish my bottle. I was put on diets very early - the earlist I can remember I was 8y. The diets were extreme: only grilled meat and veggies cooked on water and salt - no carbs at all. I remember once when my dad was not home and my mom gave me some rice behind his back, and when he got home and found out (through me), he made me eat a huge bowl full of rice until I threw up (I was 8 then.)

When I was 13 I joined WW and was doing great until he decided it was not good enough and put me on a diet of only one glass of lemonade (with sweetner) per day, plus 1 hours of walking in the morning and 1 hour in the afternoon - I lost 15 pounds that week, but as soon as he left I gorged on chocolate (it was Easter weekend) and stopped going to WW.

I was chubby but not FAT growing up - that happened in my late teens.

There was no juice e very limited soda in our house. Very little treats such as ice cream, chocolate milk, etc - we never bought those and I would only have them from time to time.

I full intend to not do the same with my child - she is thriving and when she has enough milk or food I don't insist. I will have treats in our house for her to enjoy with moderation and will offer healthy food for her meals: whole grains, veggies, healthy oils, water, milk and such. That is my plan.

[Anonymous]

Got divorced and left us with big emotional holes that we filled full of food.

[Anonymous]

I actually can't think of anything my parents could have done differently. They were health conscience (no sodas, sugary foods, junk food, etc; prepared balanced meals, etc) and never had crazy rules. We were active overall.

Most of my family is thin and doesn't have food issues. I was pretty athletic/fit until my late 20s. Then I had a few traumatic experiences and looked towards food for comfort. I don't think my parents taught me that. I think that was my own bad habit. Throw in a year or two slacking on the gym/sports and my weight really ballooned up.

And now I think I'm in denial because I don't think of myself as heavy, but I clearly am. I just need to accept it and get off my large derriere.

Excellent question though because I do want to set a good example for our kids. And I'm clearly not doing that now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my house I was forced to finish all my food - even while only a infant I had to finish my bottle. I was put on diets very early - the earlist I can remember I was 8y. The diets were extreme: only grilled meat and veggies cooked on water and salt - no carbs at all. I remember once when my dad was not home and my mom gave me some rice behind his back, and when he got home and found out (through me), he made me eat a huge bowl full of rice until I threw up (I was 8 then.)

When I was 13 I joined WW and was doing great until he decided it was not good enough and put me on a diet of only one glass of lemonade (with sweetner) per day, plus 1 hours of walking in the morning and 1 hour in the afternoon - I lost 15 pounds that week, but as soon as he left I gorged on chocolate (it was Easter weekend) and stopped going to WW.

I was chubby but not FAT growing up - that happened in my late teens.

There was no juice e very limited soda in our house. Very little treats such as ice cream, chocolate milk, etc - we never bought those and I would only have them from time to time.

I full intend to not do the same with my child - she is thriving and when she has enough milk or food I don't insist. I will have treats in our house for her to enjoy with moderation and will offer healthy food for her meals: whole grains, veggies, healthy oils, water, milk and such. That is my plan.

If that was really,truly the case, and your parents were really only serving you grilled veggies and meat and no carbs - then why the hell were you chubby??? In the next paragraph, you mention gorging on Easter Candy - so clearly there was junk food in your house.

[Anonymous]

I can't blame my parents;I am the one that chooses ice cream over an apple every time I crave something sweet, but I wish my mom had not made such a big deal when I ate chocolates as a child. I guess it might had been because growing up my grandma/aunts/godmother always gave us chocolate and candies all the time. They were overweight and that might made my mom scared for us, and she was always trying to forbidde us to eat it. She even made me think that I was allergic to chocolate so I wouldn't eat it. So when I was a teen and I had money of my own I started hidding sweets and eating them, then when I went to college it got worst. I've been fighting against obesity since then, and so do my sisters.

[Anonymous]

nobody mentions sleep...

did you know that latest research says that what's causing children to be overweight is the lack of sleep and not screen time or eating habits?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my house I was forced to finish all my food - even while only a infant I had to finish my bottle. I was put on diets very early - the earlist I can remember I was 8y. The diets were extreme: only grilled meat and veggies cooked on water and salt - no carbs at all. I remember once when my dad was not home and my mom gave me some rice behind his back, and when he got home and found out (through me), he made me eat a huge bowl full of rice until I threw up (I was 8 then.)

When I was 13 I joined WW and was doing great until he decided it was not good enough and put me on a diet of only one glass of lemonade (with sweetner) per day, plus 1 hours of walking in the morning and 1 hour in the afternoon - I lost 15 pounds that week, but as soon as he left I gorged on chocolate (it was Easter weekend) and stopped going to WW.

I was chubby but not FAT growing up - that happened in my late teens.

There was no juice e very limited soda in our house. Very little treats such as ice cream, chocolate milk, etc - we never bought those and I would only have them from time to time.

I full intend to not do the same with my child - she is thriving and when she has enough milk or food I don't insist. I will have treats in our house for her to enjoy with moderation and will offer healthy food for her meals: whole grains, veggies, healthy oils, water, milk and such. That is my plan.

If that was really,truly the case, and your parents were really only serving you grilled veggies and meat and no carbs - then why the hell were you chubby??? In the next paragraph, you mention gorging on Easter Candy - so clearly there was junk food in your house.

That was only during the "diet" periods. And when I "gorged" on chocolate during Easter I was 13 - nothing much my father could do about what I ate outside our home by then.

[Anonymous]

Look, some people are going to be fat. That's the way it is. There's no miracle cure. We rail on fat people and tell them they should lose weight for the good of the country, but we don't want insurance to pay for bariatric surgery, which is one of the few things out there that has a decent track record.

In my case, we were not served regular meals when we were children for a variety of reasons. Therefore, it was engrained into me early on to stuff myself when I got the chance. Also, I was screamed at that I was ugly and no one would ever love me starting at, oh, age 4 or so. Hey, guess what, you tell a kid something enough, it will actually come true.

I look back at pics of me as a child, and while I was definitely big--tall--for my age, I was never fat until puberty, and even then, I probably would have grown out of it had I been cared for properly.

[Anonymous]

We had good healthy food in the house and tons and tons of outdoor exercise. My parents set a good example.

You know what they DID do wrong that led to a life-long pattern of overeating that in turn led to extra weight? They were emotionally abusive and critical. All.the.time. From a very young age I self-medicated with sweets when I was feeling down (a 6 yr old or an 11 yr old can't hit the bottle, call her shrink, do yoga, or get high. But she can! down a sleeve of Oreos and feel better!)

I could write a book on nutrition now and I exercise 6 days a week. I am still an emotional over-eater.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my house I was forced to finish all my food - even while only a infant I had to finish my bottle. I was put on diets very early - the earlist I can remember I was 8y. The diets were extreme: only grilled meat and veggies cooked on water and salt - no carbs at all. I remember once when my dad was not home and my mom gave me some rice behind his back, and when he got home and found out (through me), he made me eat a huge bowl full of rice until I threw up (I was 8 then.)

When I was 13 I joined WW and was doing great until he decided it was not good enough and put me on a diet of only one glass of lemonade (with sweetner) per day, plus 1 hours of walking in the morning and 1 hour in the afternoon - I lost 15 pounds that week, but as soon as he left I gorged on chocolate (it was Easter weekend) and stopped going to WW.

I was chubby but not FAT growing up - that happened in my late teens.

There was no juice e very limited soda in our house. Very little treats such as ice cream, chocolate milk, etc - we never bought those and I would only have them from time to time.

I full intend to not do the same with my child - she is thriving and when she has enough milk or food I don't insist. I will have treats in our house for her to enjoy with moderation and will offer healthy food for her meals: whole grains, veggies, healthy oils, water, milk and such. That is my plan.

If that was really,truly the case, and your parents were really only serving you grilled veggies and meat and no carbs - then why the hell were you chubby??? In the next paragraph, you mention gorging on Easter Candy - so clearly there was junk food in your house.

This comment is unbelievable. Thanks for sharing your story PP, you clearly had an abusive and traumatic relationship with your dad. Can't believe people feel the need to editorialize in this way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have one. How about teaching you responsibility for your own actions? Quit blaming the world for your lack of self control.

No one here has blamed "the world." And apparently you have shitty reading comprehensions skills because the point of this thread is to discuss what parents could have done better. Which is not to say that it the "fault" of the world. Get it? If you want to start a thread about how obese people should take more responsibility for their problems, go ahead.

[Anonymous]

On the flip side, I am thin and my mom is heavy. Hearing that my dad hated the way she looked and wasn't attracted to her, and then when he left her for a much more attractive woman, well that definitely taught me to keep down my weight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well it was the 70's and 80's and back then Hamburger Helper was regarded by as a "wholesome" dinner. My mom didn't really clue into the fact that most of the food she was cooking was high in fat and low in nutrients until I was adult.

I don't think the vast majority of people were clued into the high fat/salt content of any foods. Even so, there were no more than 2 fat/big boned kids in a grade level of 100 kids in the 70s and 80s. THey were chunky but not obese.

When I see American tourists staggering around in their girth (in DC), this represents far more than the % of fat/obese people from earlier decades. Now the distinction is obese, grossly obese, and morbidly obese.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:On the flip side, I am thin and my mom is heavy. Hearing that my dad hated the way she looked and wasn't attracted to her, and then when he left her for a much more attractive woman, well that definitely taught me to keep down my weight.

Hopefully it taught you to look for a much more emotionally healthy and supportive mate.