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If you are an obese adult,
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Anonymous
| Is there anything that you think your parents should have done differently when you were a child? |
Anonymous
|
Yes, here are a few ideas. The following are examples of habits I grew up with. My mom (a single parent):
-put me to bed with a full bottle of chocolate whole milk and give me the stuff all day whenever I wanted -gave me unlimited amounts of juice (usually "cranberry" or grape) -offered unlimited junk food and desserts -made soda available early and in unlimited amounts -didn't limit TV watching -never taught me a sport or physical activity -didn't feed me breakfast -picked up a lot of fast food for meals I was obese early on. By the time I was a teenager, my mother tried bribing me to lose weight (offering things like a new wardrobe if I'd drop x pounds) and made mean comments about my weight. She encouraged fad diets (I can remember going on the "cabbage soup diet" by age 10) and we frequently tried one diet or another. She was slender until around age 50, though she yo yo'd. |
Anonymous
| Wow, PP, I have suffered with obesity as an adult (I'm not overweight now, but have been very overweight as an adult and as a child) and my experience was quite the opposite. My food intake was strictly monitored and there was NEVER any sweets in our house. If there was anything tempting or sugary in the house, we all ate it illicitly from the freezer or in the middle of the night. It was forbidden and I never got used to having it around as part of my normal diet, so I gorged on it when I got the chance. |
Anonymous
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I have two thin sisters, so I hesitate to say my upbringing had a big role in why I'm heavy now. But I will say that in my (single mom) home, exercise was NEVER emphasized. And we never ate a cooked meal (everyone just grabbed something for dinner from the fridge).
I cook every night for my kids now and we emphasize exercise every day (his dad or I will take him to the gym every weekend, and during the week he plays sports). But there must be a genetic element, because I know for my son at least, there is always the tendency for him to get a little heavy. Any time he has a doughnut, we have to remind him for the next 3 or 4 days it would be better to have fruit. He simply has a very large appetite, and while he's in good shape now, this may be a lifelong struggle for him, even with all our good intentions. |
Anonymous
| It is not an easy question to answer unless you know what other parents were doing differently from yours. |
Anonymous
| Well it was the 70's and 80's and back then Hamburger Helper was regarded by as a "wholesome" dinner. My mom didn't really clue into the fact that most of the food she was cooking was high in fat and low in nutrients until I was adult. |
Anonymous
| To be very frank and honest, no matter what my parents did when I was a child, as an adult it is my problem if I'm overweight and blaming my parents for it isn't going to get me anywhere. My mother used to give me shit for eating Doritos, my dad used to hide the Archway cookies. One thing my mother did do, even if she was focused on looks, was raise me with a sense of honesty, self responsibility and esteem beyond the superficial. I welcome who I am and my perceived imperfections and I wish we lived in a society where others felt the same. |
Anonymous
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When I had a bad day, I was handed a dollar, and told to go buy a candy bar. I have several siblings and I was the only one that was given treats to help heal emotional wounds. I guess it's because I had so many of them, and because my mother was at a loss of what else to do. Other than that it doesn't help that I am allergic to most fruits and vegetables.
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Anonymous
I managed to lose the weight in my early 20's, but I spent my childhood and teen years overweight/obese. My parents did the bolded above. The juice/soda especially was a problem, I don't think I knew what water tasted like until I was 20. In addition, I'd say portion sizes were out of control in my house. Imagine a plate full of meat, a bowl full of pasta/rice, and another bowl full of veggies -- for each individual. My parents grew up poor and in large families where food was more scarce, so I think they overcompensated with food when they were adults. |
Anonymous
I think that this is the case for many people. |
Anonymous
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On the eating habits side:
1) always forced me to clean my plate, sometimes making me sit alone in the dark kitchen until midnight. 2) used food as both reward and punishment. Many nights going to bed without dinner. Many nights my reward for cleaning my plate was a bowl of ice cream. On the emotional side: 1) always talking about my weight, from as early as I can remember. I look back on pictures now and I was a normal weight and build until about age 13. 2) started dragging me to Weight Watchers meetings at age 10 (I'm not even sure that was acceptable back then (70s)). 3) always asked the doctor (with me there) when I'd lose the "baby weight." 4) always fussed that my clothes didn't fit well. Other than that, we ate relatively healthfully. No overcooked veggies, no fats added to veggies, fairly lean meats, no Hawaiian Punch or Koolaid (stuff with little or no real juice). No sodas. Very little candy. We often drank water. We did drink milk and orange juice. We played outside (hard) all day. Ran, road bikes, played baseball and soccer. Built forts, tire swings over the river, hide and seek, climbing trees, hiking through the woods. For me it was very much emotional. And I do believe that if you force or withhold food from a child, you do permanently damage their ability to naturally know when they are satisfied after a meal. Which can often lead to overeating. It can be overcome, but it's really hard. |
Anonymous
| I have one. How about teaching you responsibility for your own actions? Quit blaming the world for your lack of self control. |
Anonymous
You are an ingnorant asshole! Your parents are your earliest teachers....if they can teach you how to brush your teeth or celebrate a holiday then why is it so hard to believe they teach you how to feel about food? |
Anonymous
I didn't get the sense the OP was looking to blame her parents but rather trying to learn habits she could avoid. Some of the posters gave great advice. The research shows that overweight or obese kids are much more likely to be obese adults...so while it is no use blaming our parents, our generation can learn that the prevention is much better than trying to treat obese adults, which we know is incredibly difficult. Maybe we can avoid some of the pitfalls our parents fell into. Breakfast is important, modeling good eating habits, not relying on fast food, placing limits on sugary beverages like fruit juice and soda, teaching moderation, and limiting screen time (computer, video games, TV) are all really helpful tips. In society today it is perfectly acceptable to snack all day, and we should teach that meals are something you eat at the table, not in front of the TV. Meals don't always come readily assembled from a box. And not emphasizing weight, but rather emphasizing that food is fuel and the right fuel gives you energy, keeps you healthy. It's a big topic. But there are some tried and true tips families can be doing. |
Anonymous
Exactly. Because it's a 7 year old's responsibility to demand appropriate daily servings of vegetables, fruit, dairy, lean meats and whole grains in addition to 30 minutes of exercise. Perhaps you should re-read the OP's question. It specifically asked what our parents could have done different when we were children, no one is blaming them for our actions as adults. |