Would you marry knowing your spouse wouldn't sleep with you after a few years?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For some women, it becomes painful during menopause. I mean really, really painful.

They have no idea this is going to happen. What would you have them do.

BJs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH has the lower libido but honestly, it’s ok. It’s not my worst problem.

+1. It makes me a little sad but we have a good relationship and a good home life. I think of it as if he had an injury.

[Anonymous]

No. But I love my kids and stayed until they went to college.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely not, but it happens. And health problems don’t count - if my wife ever gets sick I’ll be holding her hand all the way theough it. For me, so far I’ve been blessed to have a wonderful wife who loves staying fit and having sex. Obviously, these aren’t the only things I love about her but it sure helps keep our connection and love for each other alive. Its like you still get the hot girlfriend you dated and the life long partner that you’ve built something special with over the years. In turn, it makes you date her as if you were a boyfriend always trying to do nice things for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Life and marriage are stressful enough. Adding perfectly matched libidos forever to the list of requirements in a partner just makes marriage not seem worth it.

I think marriage only really works between people who are able to adapt and accept the changes life brings. Many relationships are able to handle the good times but not the bad. I don't know if it's because we are inherently selfish and ultimately mostly care about our own pleasure and point of view.

It’s the old Prisoner’s Dilemma. In marriage, both people get further ahead as a unit if each maximizes their contribution. However, individually they win if each tries to maximize their take, and they both know it. So, if you don’t think your partner will prop you up, your rational decision is then to grab as much resources out of the marriage as you can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For some women, it becomes painful during menopause. I mean really, really painful.

They have no idea this is going to happen. What would you have them do.

There are things other than PIV, you know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely not, but it happens. And health problems don’t count - if my wife ever gets sick I’ll be holding her hand all the way theough it. For me, so far I’ve been blessed to have a wonderful wife who loves staying fit and having sex. Obviously, these aren’t the only things I love about her but it sure helps keep our connection and love for each other alive. Its like you still get the hot girlfriend you dated and the life long partner that you’ve built something special with over the years. In turn, it makes you date her as if you were a boyfriend always trying to do nice things for her.

Why are men so simple?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For some women, it becomes painful during menopause. I mean really, really painful.

They have no idea this is going to happen. What would you have them do.

There are other ways to satisfy your partner besides your v*gina (e.g., hands, mouth). This applies to men too.

[Anonymous]

I don't get why some people need to distort the question in order to turn the discussion into something it's not. One response here seems to think that OP is requiring "perfectly matched libidos forever" and another "porn star sex."

There are perfectly valid reasons to disagree with OP. But it's not because of these straw men that PPs invented.

[Anonymous]

no

[Anonymous]

Wait...some of you guys are still sleeping together?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely not, but it happens. And health problems don’t count - if my wife ever gets sick I’ll be holding her hand all the way theough it. For me, so far I’ve been blessed to have a wonderful wife who loves staying fit and having sex. Obviously, these aren’t the only things I love about her but it sure helps keep our connection and love for each other alive. Its like you still get the hot girlfriend you dated and the life long partner that you’ve built something special with over the years. In turn, it makes you date her as if you were a boyfriend always trying to do nice things for her.

Why are men so simple?

Society conditions us this way. If we want to go for a hike, enjoy a meal or see a movie we can do that with a friend. But if we want to have sex we have to do that with our significant other. Now anybody who reads this forum knows that we don't all place this kind of limits on ourselves...but those of us who have a high libido but also take our vows seriously will have the same kind of attitude the PP does.

[Anonymous]

No.

I also wouldn't marry my spouse if I knew (i) they weren't going to do ~50% of all household chores and childcare, (ii) they were going to be unfaithful (including doing things like spend money on Only Fans or having emotional affairs, (iii) they were going to have a drug or alchohol addiction issues, (iv) they would have mental health struggles or (v) if I knew they would be a poor financial partner. If any of (i)-(v) were triggered, I would not want to have sex with them anymore.

I wish there were a good way to control for all of these things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lots of people post here about how they are angry or hurt by their spouse and refuse to sleep with them any longer. I don't understand why, unless there are young children at home, anyone would stay if they felt this way.

Did you believe when you get married that you'd be okay with someone forcing involuntary celibacy on you when you made your vows? If not, why do you think it's okay for your to impose celibacy on your spouse?

Why don't you ask yourself what is your role?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely not, but it happens. And health problems don’t count - if my wife ever gets sick I’ll be holding her hand all the way theough it. For me, so far I’ve been blessed to have a wonderful wife who loves staying fit and having sex. Obviously, these aren’t the only things I love about her but it sure helps keep our connection and love for each other alive. Its like you still get the hot girlfriend you dated and the life long partner that you’ve built something special with over the years. In turn, it makes you date her as if you were a boyfriend always trying to do nice things for her.

Why are men so simple?

Society conditions us this way. If we want to go for a hike, enjoy a meal or see a movie we can do that with a friend. But if we want to have sex we have to do that with our significant other. Now anybody who reads this forum knows that we don't all place this kind of limits on ourselves...but those of us who have a high libido but also take our vows seriously will have the same kind of attitude the PP does.

The irony is that all of you lame men and up being the ones with the limp di?ks eventually and often far sooner than you want to admit.

Marriage is a partnership. It should only be a tiny sliver about sex once kids etc are involved