Real Concern: Does Hazing still happen in the Greek system?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids were Greek at UVA never personally experienced hazing at any time. My DS chose a fraternity that was known for not hazing and yes there were definitely some houses that did haze and subsequently got in trouble (kicked off). So the answer is yes it still happens but not in every chapter.

You won't find out about hazing unless it makes the local news, or your child quits. I was in a fraternity. First rule of pledging is you are sworn to secrecy. General rule of college: don't worry your parents if you can avoid it. Ask him in 5 years, you might get a different answer about hazing.

Also, a lot of stuff that parents/admin/lawyers/juries might call hazing is not thought of as hazing, or it's not thought to be THAT kind of hazing. "We're just teaching them how to drink, we're not locking them in dog cages or anything!" "We're not hazing, but loyalty and helping your brothers when they're in need is what our house is all about, which is why they have to stay up all night learning to recite our 42 founding brother's names and then do all of our laundry."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids were Greek at UVA never personally experienced hazing at any time. My DS chose a fraternity that was known for not hazing and yes there were definitely some houses that did haze and subsequently got in trouble (kicked off). So the answer is yes it still happens but not in every chapter.

BS your kid did not tell you.

They all haze

[Anonymous]

100%. Not sure what the pp considers top academic schools but traditional hazing is alive and well at schools like Wake Forest and Vanderbilt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids were Greek at UVA never personally experienced hazing at any time. My DS chose a fraternity that was known for not hazing and yes there were definitely some houses that did haze and subsequently got in trouble (kicked off). So the answer is yes it still happens but not in every chapter.

BS your kid did not tell you.

They all haze

Maybe they enjoyed hazing. It can actually be a fun bonding experience. But just because a bunch of 19 year olds think it's fun and bonding doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid or wildly dangerous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm NOT looking for specific schools or frats/sororities. NOT looking to debate pros/cons. I'm unfamiliar with the system and my kid may be interested (in future, don't even know specific "house"). So my specific question is...Does physical and or sexual abuse happen within the system as a part of the initiation etc, or is this an out-dated concern? I'm thinking beatings (hazing), forced drinking, and God knows what else. I would be thrilled to be told I'm ridiculous to worry about this...but it rattles around in the back of my head and I'd like to have an idea if this is a real concern or not. Thank you.

It definitely does. See this story from last Fall at Dartmouth:
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/dartmouth-sorority-fraternity-charged-student-dead-rcna181491

Yes and the mother of the victim said her son called her and said that there was hazing by a sorority to drink until blackout drunk on multiple occasions since he was trying to get an internship the frat had connections to, so he felt he could not leave the frat.

Here's another hazing incident at Dartmouth:
https://vnews.com/2024/12/15/dartmouth-student-and-mom-break-code-of-silence-over-dartmouth-hazing-58395612/

Dartmouth has a huge problem.

[Anonymous]

OP you need to do your research elsewhere. DCUM is hugely biased against fraternities and sororities and big school fun. They prefer small no-name liberal arts colleges that no one's ever heard of with shitty non D-1 sports.

The overwhelming majority of kids who pledge aren't hazed.

[Anonymous]

I was in a (rather geeky) non-hazing fraternity in college 35 years and they actually took it fairly seriously. Our chapter was recolonized by someone who had an older sibling or friend who was injured in some fraternity hazing ritual, so not hazing was core to our local chapter. That said, other chapters in our national still hazed pretty bad. When we did pledge trips to other chapters, we knew which ones to avoid. Rumor was that one nearby chapter would kidnap visiting pledges and haze them something awful, so don't go there.

By the standards of my local fraternity chapter, the initiation ceremony for a campus "secret society" I was in (which in practice was just a community service organization with some pretense of mystery and history) would not have been permitted by my local fraternity because it involved parading around campus in costumes.

I had friends in a campus programming group that did things like arranged visiting speakers, performances, showed movies (licensed projections, all legal) and they also hazed worse than my fraternity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What school is your kid at? At most of the top academic schools, you won’t see the crazy hazing you will at large state schools.

Like Dartmouth?

Lolz

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids were Greek at UVA never personally experienced hazing at any time. My DS chose a fraternity that was known for not hazing and yes there were definitely some houses that did haze and subsequently got in trouble (kicked off). So the answer is yes it still happens but not in every chapter.

You are very naive

[Anonymous]

Yes, but it does vary greatly by school. DS knows lots of older boys in fraternities at various schools. He greatly changed his list of top choices. I didn’t understand why he suddenly had two new top schools and one he loved was moved to the bottom of the list. He admitted he reprioritized based on what he’s heard about hazing and wants to go somewhere where hazing is non-existent to mild. I’m proud of him and support his decision even if this eliminates schools that would otherwise be great fits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What school is your kid at? At most of the top academic schools, you won’t see the crazy hazing you will at large state schools.

Like Dartmouth?

Lolz

I was on study abroad many years ago with a Dartmouth student who was still a pledge in his fraternity (sophomore, I think). A member from the fraternity was visiting from another city and pledge gave up his bed to the active and slept on the floor. We're 5000 miles away and this still happens?

(This of course is minor stuff. When I was in college, Dartmouth fraternities were notorious for horrific hazing.)

[Anonymous]

Also, hazing isn’t common at all among sororities. It’s the fraternities where this tradition unfortunately lives on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also, hazing isn’t common at all among sororities. It’s the fraternities where this tradition unfortunately lives on.

Sororities never pressure candidates to have sex with actives/candidates from favored fraternities?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was in a (rather geeky) non-hazing fraternity in college 35 years and they actually took it fairly seriously. Our chapter was recolonized by someone who had an older sibling or friend who was injured in some fraternity hazing ritual, so not hazing was core to our local chapter. That said, other chapters in our national still hazed pretty bad. When we did pledge trips to other chapters, we knew which ones to avoid. Rumor was that one nearby chapter would kidnap visiting pledges and haze them something awful, so don't go there.

By the standards of my local fraternity chapter, the initiation ceremony for a campus "secret society" I was in (which in practice was just a community service organization with some pretense of mystery and history) would not have been permitted by my local fraternity because it involved parading around campus in costumes.

I had friends in a campus programming group that did things like arranged visiting speakers, performances, showed movies (licensed projections, all legal) and they also hazed worse than my fraternity.

hazing is the imposition of strenuous tasks in exchange for initiation... our college drama society required participation in a certain number of student led productions, but distributed stage and practice space and resources by seniority, so freshmen wound up assigned to practice times as late as 4am, there was strong social pressure to participate in social gatherings (even if there were no keg stands) and there were elaborate cultural cues that were supposed to be observed that were ostensibly silly or about celebrating drama... the end result was kids who wanted to join missed class, saw GPA declines and felt as stressed as boys at frats. it doesn't have to be formal, an expectation that you show up and participate to show your worth is hazing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, hazing isn’t common at all among sororities. It’s the fraternities where this tradition unfortunately lives on.

Sororities never pressure candidates to have sex with actives/candidates from favored fraternities?

Mom never finds out about that, so she can confidently say there is no hazing.